2010: Upon Further Review...

Okay...Old Man 2010 is about to have one more for the road...where are we now?

I have not taken that much time to look back at '10; it was an interesting year.  Back in the radio business, and surprised at the prospect of staying in it for a while.  The writing has gone at a frantic, but satisfying pace.  The mad triumverate of myself, Riz and Jen must get at it to turn out some more manga stuff for the SDS, and I'm finally starting to make sense of the abortion known as the Beauty Way.

That book has been a royal pain in my ass.  It was going to be a half-book, but I don't like it; so more stuff going in.  A lot more.  It could be quite some time before the draft is satisfactory.

TrafficTalk appears ready to roll next month.  More training coming, then I'll hopefully have what I need to get some part-time hours in exchange for shares.  Till at least we get the right funding.  Leave it to the brain trust down in Northern VA to figure that out.

Emotionally:  up and down year, yet another one.  My depression had its moments of fucking with me, but not enough to cause any major demolition of my psyche.  

To make a point on the whole year:  steps forward, yes.  Still up in the air:  the SDS in terms of finding a publisher, getting Ahltyrra back together in some form, finding out if ever certain personal matters can be resolved, and if I can financially continue on this course.

Money...blech.

I fucking hate the concept of it.  Fortunately, my living expenses are not huge, and I have been pretty decent at keeping spending on a reasonable level.  I can for the time being work this way, but soon I need to see TrafficTalk bringing me some $$$, not just shares.  Not gonna demand it, sure, but we need to get it off the ground, and hopefully we can go from there.

Now...in the radio business, the one thing I've learned after 26 years is:  stick around.  Hold a position, and soon the higher-ups will find out that you know what you're doing, and give you more work.

Are you listening, Radio PA and Clear Channel?  Heehee...actually, I'm very happy to be back in the business at all, so I'm not gunning to push anyone out. I'll wait, bide my time, do my job and do it properly.  Then we'll see.

I turned 45 on Nov. 1.  The number 45 is a very strange one for me; it seems to pop up in my life a lot.  I don't know the significance of it, but it means something to me.

I want to believe 2011 will be my year for at least one major step forward.  I have to keep working in that direction, and not quit anything I don't have to.

The fun is about to begin, I really feel it.

Enjoy your New Year...see you on the other side!

I Ain't Ever Satisfied (Steve Earle)

At the Office, before I head out on my latest job.  Kaitryth wishes to hire me as her "driver" for a time.  Kera is returning to work, so her coven/housemate cannot do it, and the old Neon finally said, "Bye."


I have the time, at least for now, after that, we'll have to see.  


Made it through the holidays; I have to find out where I'm supposed to be this weekend.  There's a NYE event in Selinsgrove I will be at, and I must get directions for all of it.  Too many this and that things to deal with.


Oh, and I've embarked on a rewrite of a story I wrote last summer, "The Beauty Way."  That is the title of a song by Eliza Gilkyson, and I own a cover of it by Ray Wylie Hubbard, which is really good.


The story only is about a half-book, about 130 pages, and I didn't like it.  It became a semi-autobiographical rant, and I had to do better than that.


I'm adding new elements, and slowly trying to make sense of it all.  It will take time to pull together, which I hope to do in the new year.


Nothing new on the agent front; we still have pubs. reading it, and I'm waiting to find out about them.  Need to learn more about Jeanie's idea of packaging the first three of the SDS to work that way.  An idea that would work, because the three stand on their own well.  All that other happy horseshit.


The need to read other's work is a very good thing, but sometimes I think you have to guard against listening too closely or reading too deeply.  You then become the people you're reading.  Not good.


I awoke to WITF's "Radio Smart Talk."  Now, I generally refer to this program as "Whine Talk," because the host and everyone on the show whine incessantly, and it's usually about local politics, or the disease of the week that's going to kill you.  The callers are by and large whiny as well.


Talk radio is dead in terms of growth and development.  Whining, complaining, false outrages, and staged activity that makes pro wrestling look like the UFC.  


Anyway, today was a rerun of an interview with David Sedaris.  Interesting guy, and they ran a cut of one of his short stories.  Very intriguing style, and a very intelligent person.  Clever stuff.


It's definitely not my style, but you can learn from that.  If anything, I have to stay me, and not worry about what others think.  The point is to get your point across, style and form be damned.


So anyway, back to "The Beauty Way."  This is going to be different.  This I suppose was my first stab at an adult novel or one with adults in it.  I don't know where it's going to go, but I just feel I need to create a lot more than what is already there.


We'll see what happens, and I'm sure I'll let the whole world know about it, harharhar.


Steve Earle's old song was going through my Walkman as I started this, and yes, I ain't ever satisfied either.  Not by much.


I can be for certain things, not others.


Oh...now I remember something Sedaris said that got me...he said in paraphrasing that we are always looking for something to make us feel better than the next person.


Case in point:  someone found out another person had cancer.  The first person (to themselves, I assume) thought well, that person is negative and has negative thoughts and so of course they got it.


The idea I think is that things like that can happen to any of us; we can't wish it away.


I do however feel that attitudes can contribute to health issues.  They may not be the only thing, but they might play a part in it.  The inability to let things go, guilt, fears, sadness, that kind of stuff.  It's not something to dismiss out of hand.


You just have to wonder about these things; I suppose I am looking at that as well.  Do I have things to get rid of?  I do; but how is the question.


That's one of the reasons I write; to get those things out, as ugly and unpleasant as some of them might be.  As my writings progress, more and more of that stuff gets out there, and I'm not sure what people are gonna make of that.


I do think that some of my family might just wonder what the fuck was going on in my head all those years.  In certain areas, some of them will think it's just Tory being Tory.  Others, they're probably gonna go, WHAT THE FUCK?!?


If anything, it'll make people think.  At least I hope to do that.


As Eddie Izzard so correctly pointed out, "You have to believe."  You have to believe that you are this, that or whatever.


I believe, no, I KNOW...

2010: Did I Do All That?

It is still Xmas Eve, technically.  I have had a fine dinner, and have been listening to a couple of Windham Hill recordings that fit the year, to some extent.  One is a volume of Christmas-type music, a compilation.  Mostly stuff people wouldn't know or get, and the CD is over 20 years old.  Still a very brilliant collection.  The other is Will Ackerman's Imaginary Roads, from about the same period. 

I also watched Episode 5 of Ken Burns' "Jazz."  Got the set a while ago, and have been watching it from time to time.  Amazing stuff.

As I've said this is my time to reflect, and I can look back at this year and say that I've accomplished a lot.  I'm back in the radio business, when I honestly thought after being let go from XM, that I was done.  I had nothing more to accomplish; the goals had been reached, and it was time, as my good friend Beverly Burke noted to others, "to remake ourselves."

I had been doing that beforehand, with my writing and my music.  Ahltyrra has been on the shelf since summer; we may well return to action in some form next year, with a slightly different lineup.  That is for later.

I look at the potential that Traffic Talk has, and we will begin working on it in the New Year.  It's all good, though work, such as it is, has not produced much money. 

I don't worry about that.

But my writing...the application I put on Facebook today was the one that shows our status for the whole year.  Mine is 73 pages (or photos) long; a lot of mundane scribblings of where I've been and what I'm doing.

In that, however I was able to track my progress as a writer, both in form and in content.

In 2010, I have written five manuscripts.  Four are full-length books, the other is about 130 pages.  I don't yet know if I can flesh that out to a full story.

Five...in one year?  Is that possible?

Well, to be sure each one is going to need work, more than the SDS, and I did add the last volume to that one.  To have gotten them done, I am a little amazed.  I can't say I'm proud, but more satisfied that I worked that hard to get those things finished.

The previous year, I did very well, too.  I created a whole fiction trilogy that year, the Other Roads Club, and a 100-page parody, the Illustrious League.  What else I did, I can't even remember.

What I did was kept writing, kept working, kept at the craft.  It is an art, but for me, I am running from behind and trying to catch up with the creativity, and making damned sure each story can stand on its own, and be entertaining, thoughtful, funny at times, but hopefully stuff to make you think.

My agent I know has worked tirelessly for me, as well as her other clients.  She doesn't get paid 'til we do.

I am strongly in the belief that 2011 will be the year.  Even if not, I must carry forward.

I have two new story ideas; I also have a certain manuscript from 1996 that I must look at again.  I have a lot to consider, and I have a lot of work to do.  This along with everything else.

There is an accomplishment in all of this; despite everything that I struggle with, my depression, my health and my liking for a certain thing you light up (it's legal, don't worry), I have done this.

Will anyone ever read these?  Beyond those who have so far, and liked or disliked it?  Time will tell.  I can't dream that it will happen; I prepare myself for it, and I think about what it might be like when that occurs.

It mustn't go to my head; I must not think I'm the dog's bollocks.

To veer off a bit:  this will sound strange, unless you know me.  I have an old documentary made of the legendary wrestler, Lou Thesz.  At the end of it, he says in discussing his life, career and accomplishments, "This is not meant to be an 'I, I' thing..."

Thesz didn't mean to sound arrogant when blowing his own horn, but he went over an amazing life and what he did.  His first professional match was when he was 17, I think.  His last was when he was in his early 70's.  That last one was to wrestle an actual match in his seventh decade of doing so, but he did it.

I don't mean this to be an "I, I" thing, either.  I'm not trying to be arrogant or pretentious.  I've worked hard, and I can feel satisfied, and yet a little apprehensive.  I don't know if I can continue with this output; all I know is, I have to just keep doing my best at it.

All this time, I've continued to edit and re-examine the Sweet Dreams Series, the Other Roads Club, the Outcast Society, and the other, solo stories.  I still write songs; not as many, but I do.  I keep working, keep moving forward. 

I've, as a certain person said given my steps to this road.  "Go on without fear, and you will find out."  I'm not at all afraid, just worried about what I've started.  I hope to finish before my time is up; and I hope to enjoy it just a bit more, too.

A lot of people have asked about how I got my agent, and how I did a lot of this.  I just did it.  Forget Nike's "Just Do It" campaign.  Just Do It, is what you must do, or you get nowhere.

Hope that all makes sense.  It doesn't completely, to me.  But it is interesting, and always fun in some strange way.

Dec. 24th and beyond

Time to consider it all...well, it's almost Xmas.  


I had a very good Yule, and the celebration of the Winter Solstice was a fine one.  There was a lunar eclipse at about 3 am on the 21st.  Missed that, but I heard it was pretty impressive.


I've done all my shopping, done just about everything I need to.  Now you must wonder:  as I'm Buddhist/Wiccan/Pagan, etc., how do I deal with Xmas?


I have no problem when people wish me a Merry Christmas; I know it's a gesture of kindness, respect and all that.  All good.  I don't care how you celebrate the holidays, as long as you do it for the reasons you feel right about.


For us, it's kind of the early part of the Wheel of the Year; the God has been birthed once again, and the cycle goes around once more.  Time to look back, and reflect, and think about what you will do in the coming year.


I can't get all preachy or tell you what to do with that; it's up to you.


Other have asked what do I do?  Well, I've almost always worked on Christmas.  In the radio business, there are no days off.  I'm working this weekend, so it's all good; I do what I do, get a little extra $$$, and make my way through it.


I'll probably do my holiday cooking tonight; I like to do that on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Good food, and good whatever else; always fun.


I received an unexpected and sweet gift from Hannah, the "Office" manager--vegan homemade cookies.  How wonderful; I love her.


Things like that keep me from feeling too terribly depressed during the holidays.  We do what we can.  


Now I gotta go get cat food!  The little ones need their stuff, too!


Whatever you do, enjoy the holidays, and however you want to call it, do!  Show a bit of consideration for your fellow human beings, tomorrow and every day as we should.


Peace Out!

Blink...and you just might miss it!

Paul Weller's song is in my head.


It is Monday afternoon, and I'm slowly recovering from the weekend.  A busy one.


To recap:  my flight into BWI was quick and uneventful.  Saturday was busy!  Did the sports updates for KYW until 5, then zoomed up the highway to Clear Channel to help with the Bears game on the Ticket.  Got to run most of the game, and it went well enough.  Still don't know a lot of the nuts and bolts, but getting there.


The instructions are good, but in all caps, and single-spaced, and I can no longer read this stuff.  I'm rewriting them to add notes, tips, etc.  Mostly for me, but maybe I'll pass it on to the boss when it's done.


Sunday...finally polished off another edit of "Parasite Girls."  I really enjoy this story; it is a good one, and has a lot to offer to people, to think about stuff, and how they see others in their lives.


Seems that Empress Riz has been scheming to hook me up with her dear friend KJ.  Got a call out of the blue at 11 pm Saturday, just as I was leaving the CC studios.  I was so exhausted that I couldn't really communicate well.


Did speak to KJ again Sunday; she seems very nice.  When people try to "hook me up," it doesn't usually work, but I don't want to put the kibosh on anything, yet.  KJ sounds like a sweetheart, so friends at least is always good.


Will be seeing them all NYE...heh.  That should be fun.


Now Sunday...rolled up in time to watch the amazing comeback of the Eagles over the Giants.  Now, you have to understand:  I FUCKING DESPISE THE NEW YORK GIANTS!


Why?  Well, in the 70's, long before Cable TV, growing up in VT, all we had was the antenna on the roof of the house to get any sort of reception.  We were too far away and too low in the valley to get the NBC affiliate in Plattsburgh, NY; as a result we had the CBS, ABC and Canadian stations.


This is why I was probably the only Montreal Canadiens fan living in Vermont!


So yeah...every damn Sunday, we had to watch hideous New York Giant football teams.  Occasionally, CTV in Montreal would run AFC games on Sunday, so we'd get the Steelers and occasionally the Patriots.


But the Giants...sucked bad in those days.  I remember "The Fumble," and that amazing finish, which is now being likened to what happened yesterday.


As someone blogged, "Joe Pisarcik is finally off the hook."


Matt Dodge is the new patsy for the New York football Giants, after he tried to punt out of bounds, but the ball went off the inside of his foot, and right to DeSean Jackson, the most dangerous return man in the league.


Amazing.  I don't even like the Eagles, because 95% of their fans are insufferable, whining, complaining jackasses!  Only a grade higher than Boston sports fans of any kind.


But that was one hell of a game.  I love getting paid to watch sports.  It's the only reason I could sit long enough to watch them.


While doing my update job, and working on some additional Radio PA Network stories (Polamalu's ankle injury may keep him and his hair out of the game until the playoffs), I watched his Steelers get their ass handed them by the Jets.


Then I saw a great Sunday nighter.  The Patriots had all they could handle from a very good Packers team, led by a backup.  Matt Flynn has nothing to be ashamed of; that kid did a good job, and his team rallied around him.


Packer fans are gonna piss and moan about the clock management.  Here's the problem:  Flynn was trying to listen in the helmet headset for what play he was to call.  He couldn't hear because of all the noise, and the clock ran out.


THIS is what is wrong with coaches calling plays:  NO AUTONOMY FOR THE QUARTERBACK, UNLESS YOUR NAME IS BRETT FAVRE!


Flynn, and this is hindsight...SHOULD HAVE CALLED THE PLAY HIMSELF!  He knew he was running out of time and had to hustle the team to the line.  He should have just said, "Fuck it, I'm calling this one."


I am sick and tired of coaches calling the plays for the QB.  Tom Landry was the first to do it way back in the day, but that was unusual.  


Today, every coach calls the plays.  The QB executes; okay, well and good, but your quarterback needs to have the space to change the play or to call one as he is on the field and is aware of changes to the defense.


Okay, enough football talk.


Now...I had good work over the weekend, and I am back on the job Xmas Day, but that's cool.  I always seemed to find myself working on Xmas, so I don't mind it at all.  I'll see what else is going on here.


Housekeeping duties...piles of paperwork and stuff that I ignored while I was in Maine last week, and stuff to do before I can think about whatever the hell it is I have to do today.

Turning for Home

Okay!  It is before 5 a.m. at the Portland International Jetport.  I'm sitting in the departure area, surrounded by Mainers, cowboys, kids, and three dozen Asian exchange students...hmmm...


...anyway...I digress.


It has been a good three days or so here in Maine, and honestly I don't have any more time than that to do what I must do.  A busy weekend coming, and too damn many things to deal with right about now.


Okay, I'm not the first flight out.  That honor goes to DC...I've just learned.  Anyway, good to see Susan and Rob.  To borrow a phrase..."It's nice to know in an uncertain world that some things never change."


Susan is dealing with health issues, getting a new bathroom built and a litany of other things.  My appearance has broken up the monotony, haha!  I should hope so!


It broke up my own, to be sure.  My trip to see Riz in Portsmouth went well, very well; not much work done, but it was good.  The sojourn to Bull Moose Music netted me an unopened 3-CD set of "Shut Up and Play Yer Guitar."  Other than that:


Had a long talk with Bob, my old boss from WJIB/WKBR/WNEB/WJTO days...all the same up thataway.  The business is going well for JTO and JIB.  


Also did the LL Bean thing...Susan gives me a gift card for Bean's, and that's my Xmas shopping!  Nothing of great note, just stuff I needed.  I'm still not done shopping...but that is an easy matter to deal with.


Have I yet mentioned how much I despise Xmas Music?


I can't stand it.  Not the melodies, mostly the lyrics.  Most Xmas songwriting is crap!  Secular or otherwise.  I'm hearing a horrible version of some song through the sound system here.


The United flight crew is zooming by...small airport, so United Expres is going like mad to get that flight off the ground.  There are 6 flight to go at 6 a.m., then it's Air Tran at 6:05.  Weird.


I really did enjoy being back in Maine...great to see Portland...dropped back down to see my old XM friend Joe.  We sat in one of the ubiquitous CBD's and sucked down liquid crack.  Joe is bouncing around doing shit left and right.  I get the feeling he is still champing at the bit for more; wish I knew what to say to him.  Honestly, he's doing what he must, at least I think so.


I too am doing that.  I must continue with my writing...I started to feel that I was running dry a bit, in terms of new material, but then I have so much to edit.  


But I awoke at 2 a.m., in anticipation of getting up at 3:30 for the mad rush down here.  I may have a new one, and I think it may touch areas of my life I have heretofore avoided, or only touched upon.  Who knows what trouble this will cause in later years?


I do miss New England...I want to come back here...I don't think Maine is where I will live.  Mass. is where I want to go, and I need to continue toward that.  But there is too much in PA...so the occasional trips are a needful thing.


I have a lot of things in my personal life that more and more weigh on me, and I am reminded more than several times a day of what I need to consider.  Riz is one of the few people who is in the same boat, and we can discuss things that most people don't dare to, even with themselves.


I have a feeling:  when the books start coming out, you will see a pattern.  It may not be a very good pattern to take notice of.  But it is what I deal with, live with and go along with.


We must carry on, mustn't we?  


Actually...it could be a damned sight worse, and I am well aware of that!  I don't count blessings...I count positive steps, I count achievements, and I count being able to stay right where I am confidently and without too much concern.  The basic stuff is good.


Now, I gotta get ready...Air Tran (THE AIRLINE FORMERLY KNOWN AS VALUJET) is gonna board soon...I landed Bizniz Class...I'm a playa!!!


Bullshit I am.  I like the extra size seats, the general quiet and the fact I put the shits up the businesspeople that sit there thinking they're playas.


And the other twats who think they're playas.


So much fun.  


Off I must go!

90 Degrees in Wiscasset, Maine? Say What?!?

Yeah, I had to wonder about that, too.  I'm traveling today...after a quick stopoff in Portland for Tim Horton's Candy Cane donuts (a little taste of Canada for Riz, Leesh and whomever else), I was on my way to Portsmouth.  Biz meeting with Riz @ the famous, original Friendly Toast.  Also gonna melt my plastic at Bull Moose Music, I'm sure.


Anyway...my sister's Subaru Outback is an interesting vehicle.  My Big Sis is very small, and how she crams herself into that tiny driving space, I have no bloody idea.  Besides, her back pad, the rug over the back pad, and the electronic seat is a total weird mess I cannot figure out.


Now the car handles beautifully.  I may well buy one of these, when the Silver Saturn announces its retirement, but hopefully that won't be for another 2 or 3 years.  It has a bunch of odd features to it.  One of these is a separate WB...Weather band.  So you can get NOAA Weather Radio on it, from wherever you are.


Very neat.  The robotic tones of NOAA are a part of my life.  Dad used his little weather radio for immediate forecasts in order to plan farm actions.  He loved the thing.  I have one myself, which I have used for years to track the weather and to plan my driving, be it to Harrisburg, or DC or wherever.  A very decent and needful thing.


So this car radio has one!  Weird.  And the report is extremely long for Maine; it lasts like 15 minutes.  Coastal forecasts, tides, wave heights, and then forecasts for everywhere, temps, etc.  Weather Junkies...if you think the Weather Channel is hot shit, you have not lived until you've sat and droned yourself into unconsciousness with this thing.


Don't get me started on the Weather Channel...since they injected Stephanie Abrams with more Prozac than needed, and hired that ignorant jackass Al Roker, the channel is now a ratings-driven joke channel.  Oh, I got started.


Oh...90 in Wiscasset?  Well, someone hit the wrong keystrokes at the NOAA center, because it's cold up here!  22 degrees, or something like that.  Typical winter weather; then I heard the robot voice say it was 90 in Wiscasset.


Okay...unless Global Warming has decided to open fire on the town known for two abandoned schooners that are no longer there and Route 1 running through it, something is wrong.


I'm in the rest area food court in Kennebunkport.  My meeting in Portsmouth is not for a while, and I needed to stop anyway.  So here I am updating you.


Susan looks well, but is dealing with health problems.  I now admit I am starting to worry about her a little; she's undergone a couple of major procedures, and her lungs are not good.  She does not smoke, but she has asthma...like Dad, not good.  But she hangs in there and does her best.


Rob is dealing with a bad cold, but the dude is built like a fucking tank and has no quit in him.  I can only hope I don't pick it up...can't afford it right now.


Freeport is the same; but it was very quiet earlier this week.  Not a lot of folks getting about; I popped into a couple of places I love that are unique to here, Mexicali Blues for one, the Mangy Moose for another.  I'll go to Bean's tomorrow I think.


Yeah, I shop...so what?


It's been good up here again...I miss New England, have I mentioned this?  To be practical, my chances of living in Boston ever again, or any of New England due to the taxes is highly unlikely, unless SDS-1 takes off.


I'm not holding my breath.  I am positively convinced that it will sell, but I will not bank on it becoming a monster hit.  I have to remind myself, that is not in my hands.  That is in the publisher's hands to get it out there right, and then it's up to you, dear readers.


I have gone on, haven't I?  In any case, I'm really happy to just be back here, even for a few days.  Vermont is a different spot than Maine (the former my home state), but New England is a land all its own.  It's got a character you can't find anyplace else in the world.


Okay...I gotta get moving.  Stuff to do!

A Maine State of Mind...

Day 1 in Maine...well, my sister and bro-in-law were quite happy to see me, as usual.  That's good, I guess.  

Life in Maine, so different, even in comparison to PA.  Then again, I must remember my sister is like 18 years older than me.  She's the eldest of the bunch.  Her bedtime is 8 pm, but we ended up talking til 9 about stuff.  

Life in Maine...Rob went off to his studio and I've no clue what he's painting now, but I caught a glimpse of a creation that he tried to sneak through the kitchen.  Brilliant painter.  

Time now for a SHAMELESS PLUG:

http://robertwieferichartist.com/

Check it out!  The man's awesome.

Now, I'm chatting with Riz, author of the always loud and proud, "Letters from the Disgruntled Fringe," which you can also find here on the blogspot.

I'm to see her in Portsmouth tomorrow, to meet at the Friendly Toast (THE ORIGINAL) for another writer's confab.  I've also been dispatched by her and Alicia to seek out a Tim Horton's, and bring them Candy Cane Donuts.

My friend Mika has a close one in Alberta, who is a devotee of Timmie's, and sings its praises.  So we'll see.

Anyway, it's chilly but surprisingly warm (relative term) up here.  It was raining, and nearly 50 degrees (F) here last night!  Not gonna reach that today, but the sun is out.

Freeport is a very small town...the center is dominated of course by the monstrous LL Bean, and all things grow away from there.  I've made my short walk up from Susan and Rob's old Vic home to Mexicali Blues for hippie garb (new headscarf and other neat things).  Lot of outlet stores here, and much to everyone's shock...considering the town council hates all things commercial...

...A JOHNNY ROCKETS'?

In Freeport?!?

Oh well, they've got nearly everything else but a fucking Walmart, so why the fuck not?

Outlet stores are weird.  They look like the regular stores, you know, for the Calvin Klein stuff, and all these high-end snot stuff sellers.  

There is a Morebucks, a Ben and Jerry's, and a Mangy Moose.

The latter you probably don't know of.  There are only two in the world, here and in Colorado.  Great place, all things Moose.

Oh well, I have a new scene to write before I can move, and I also have to see where everyone is.  Susan is off to yet another doc's appointment, so I have no transport.  No worries, enough to do here today.

Relaxed, believe it or not, I am!  I am happy here...I miss New England, I fucking do.

Oh well...off to it.

So I'm sitting in a lounge at BWI...

Here I am, once again getting ready for my annual Air Tran pilgrimage to Portland, Maine.  Up to Freeport to spend a few days with my sister and brother in law.  While at it, see a few friends and get another business meeting in.


Oh yeah, and I gotta do a damned conference call with Traffic Talk.  The launch is set for the new year, so that means I'll be volling a few hours a day to see if we can get this thing up and running.


Long night; ended up working on my day off, but I needed the cash.  And the Eagles/Cowboys game I had to follow for KYW was actually pretty entertaining.


I will consider what to do for a while.  I've got two hours before my flight, but surprisingly my trip to BWI, the parking lot, the shuttle, and the TSA inspection all went damned fast.  Add to it, there's not that many travelers here.  Much smaller crowd, and a bit quieter.  


Is that because it's a Monday?  Or mid-afternoon?  Or the economy?  Who knows.


"Go on, take the money and run..."  Steve Miller comes up on the Walkman Shuffle.  Oh, had to get replacement headset for it.  Totally made myself look a fool, mistook the usb port for where the head plug was to go...urg.  


This is what happens when I get stressed and scatterbrained.  It gets worse as you get older.


Need food...Asian wok place next to my table smells damn good right now.


Oh yeah...Air Tran has been taken over by Southwest Airlines.  Might be the last time I fly the AIRLINE FORMERLY KNOWN AS VALUJET.


Heehee.  Such fun.  One thing that's great about getting in early, is the upgrade.  Business Class, I'm a playa!!!


Not.


Business expense, heh; add to it, coach seats suck!  I'm 6'2" -- try to squeeze me into one of those seats that only fit 7 year olds!  


Okay...need food.  Back later.

Please read, and click on the link...it's for real...

Friends and readers, I'd like you to please check out this link:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/home.php?sk=group_172830149409031&notif_t=group_activity

This is the link to the Bryan David Lane Bail Fund.  Bryan is a friend, fellow writer and Rocky Horror Picture Show compadre, with more years under his belt than nearly anyone ever involved in the show.

Right now, he is being held in Norfolk County Jail in Mass., on charges that I cannot go into here.  Needless to say, I, like many of his friends believe he is innocent.

Bryan is a lot of things, but he is not what certain individuals claim he is.  His bail has been reduced to $20,000, but it must be cash.  His wife is doing all she can to raise it, but only about 10% has been so far.

It's a tough time for nearly all of us; I feel sad that I cannot do much but to offer my support, and I do that here.  Bryan's wife Pamela is a wonderful lady, and she will explain if asked what is going on. 

Again, I am not at liberty to write about the details, for I feel I should not.  I do not want to say or do or write anything that can be construed as false, inaccurate or uncertain information.

I just feel this strongly that Bryan didn't do these things.

Please check this link out, and contact Pamela.  Let her know you're there; Bryan will know, too.

It upsets me to write at this time, but I feel like I can't do much else, being so far away. 

Whether you are spiritual or not, please keep Bryan and Pamela, and their family in thought, prayer or however you choose to do it.  Thank you very much, Blessed Be.

"Away from the Numbers...is Where I'm Gonna Be..."

Again, the Jam track arrives on my Walkman Shuffler...nice.


I have been sitting in the Office the past four hours on his dreary, snow flurrying, nasty day.  The last few days have been very slow in terms of productivity, but I get bits done that make me feel like I'm not completely wasting my time.


The Stephen King lookalike is here...he's creepier than Steve!  The Intense Indian Lady and her Laptop are here, Leisure Suit Larry (in lime green sweater no less!) was here and gone, as were the Coffeehouse Preacher, the Loudmouth, and somebody's girlfriend.  Oh dear...Jakob the Liar is here too with his Missus...oh my how interesting.


Fun to watch the lack of action.  I've been penning some new lyrics, which may or may not work, but I've got them down, which is good.  I'm still dealing with the Black Dog to some extent, but it's not as bad as it was of late.  Have put some things together here and there...


Trying to get ready for work tomorrow, then I also have to pack and get the house cleaned up.  I'm headed to Maine, and I am hopeful to get a business meeting secured, along with some other possibles.  Too much to think about right now, I'm afraid.


My mind has too much on it, and yet nothing at all.  I think a change of scene is needed, and I'll get that next week.  Right now, I don't know.  


It looks like this:  I have a writing project that I aim to start in the future.  It is one that is still being put together in the thought process.  It's going to be too difficult to dash off.  Lot of back story, character development, and the reason why the fuck all of this is going on.  Long way to fucking go there.


As that gestates:  on my jump drive are two manuscripts.  One has been beaten into shape again, so I don't suppose I need it right this very second on there.  Another is one that could use another go, and I must get that in line.


There is also the outlines for the new project; the lyrics for two songs, and other notes for different bits.  ROLL THAT UP IN YOUR JOINT AND SMOKE IT, STEPHANIE MEYER!


I don't mean to rip on Stephanie, but then again, I do.  You know, when you become that popular, people are gonna target you.  I don't expect to become that popular, but I know if I do, then X-rated fan fiction about the Sweet Dreams Series will be out there...I'll know I've made it then!


Oh well...I am trying very hard to focus my thoughts, and my concerns, and it really is hard today.  This is what I deal with; some days I'm on it, and I'm focused and getting shit done.  Other days, my thoughts go off into space like they were fired out of a 20-gauge shotgun.


I have Frank Zappa's "Trans-Fusion" sitting on the table in front of me.  Looks really interesting...always been a casual fan, but my brain needs something more musically interesting, and perhaps this is it.


Okay, let's see if I can take stock of the jump drive and figure my next move.  It's gotta get done.

"Sing Along with the Common People..."

Well, let's see how this works...looks pretty bold to me...a day of traveling about, taking Kaitryth on her errands.  Now that her poor old Neon has finally shit the bed for good it seems, K. has been able to run about with fellow covenmate Kera to do stuff.  


I didn't mind, as I now realize that I have so little life going for me.  No serious or unusual things, just here and there, and I got lunch at Chipotle by her...all well and good.  


K. is doing well, despite all the madness that has gone on in her life. Her new living arrangement is shaping up, and Mantas appears to be getting along well...when they get back together, don't know, but they seem to be in good positions.


Listening to Bryan Ferry's new CD, "Olympia" in the car, and a Pulp hits collection; hence the "Common People" reference.


Asked by K. about the band.  Yes, will Ahltyrra do it again?  Right now, it looks like a three-piece, perhaps a four if things go right.  Eventually we must get back to work on the music, and I am hoping to take steps in that direction soon.


New song yesterday; my first in a long while.  Need to figure the music, but I think it will be fairly basic on guitar.  Most of my stuff is; it's the band, Dan and others who have made my music richer than it was at the start.


Book stuff...after the brain-melting I went through this week to whip SDS-3 one more time into shape, I am finding my mind getting interested in a storyline that I created about two years ago.


This is going to be very different, and it's going to take a long time for me to get this to work.  It is disjointed and senseless right now, and I have to build around a series of twisted characters.  It's back to creating my own universe again.


I already tried that once, to semi-disastrous results in the 90's.  Again, I still look at the manuscript and wonder about it.


Too much else before me...I think I'll let my brain ramble on, with regard to this new thing...I have stuff in hand right now that must be dealt with.


What life I have...or not...K. asked a very good question:  "So, what do you do when you're not writing or working?"


Oh shit.


Not much; I occasionally do chores at the house, feed the cats, clean a little...fuck, not much at all.  


There is that thing..."A writer writes, always," which comes from "Throw Momma From The Train."  A terrible movie, by the way.  I was not impressed by it.  But that is a trueism.


I also recently considered this as an exercise, and I may still bring it up to the coven sometime:  Count every person you have contact with on a given day.  Anybody you speak to and/or interact with:


Some days I can count them on one hand.  That's not good, is it?


Makes you wonder...even amongst a sea of people, as I am now at the Office, we are all adrift or marooned on an island of our own making.  Some days, I need that; others, I don't.


***


Other strange things:  while we were shopping, or rather K. was, we went into a calendar shop...normally I stay away from the mall, unless I have something I have to buy specifically.  Found a classic game...Mille Borne.


Remember that game?  The French racing card game; I was introduced to this in 1987, and it had already been around 25 years.  Retro weird game; just decided to get it.  Game night with the coven might be fun again...this is a cutthroat, competitive game and is actually fun and makes you think.


***


I digress.  Must move on...get back to some of my ideas and see what other trouble I can cause today...heh.  Sing along with the common people...


...oh, btw...thank you to my friends in Europe who are reading my blog!  I think I know who two of you are, and there is another over there...much pleased to know I'm being read.  (Happy Smile...needed)