Take Another Road, Chapter 20--"Talking Back to the Night"

Here we are, with Chapter 20 of "Take Another Road."  Before we begin, my thanks to everyone who has wished me a happy #46.  I am most grateful.

Here we go...

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Chapter 20--Talking Back to the Night

            Keru sat in his usual chair, but he was far from comfortable.  A cigar was lit in his fingers, his index and middle appendages holding it tightly to keep it from falling.  He was not alone in the room; sitting across from him was Nanae, and Keru was under a stare that fixed and held him.  Daisuke had left; Keru now knew he was the one who had warned Minoru, but that was hardly a concern right now.

            “What else have you lied about?”  Nanae’s face was not angry; it was impassive, but behind the dark eyes of his wife was the rare but terrible anger she possessed.  Keru expected it, and for once would take what he had coming to him.

            “Nothing.”  Keru did his best to look Nanae in the eye, but it was hard.  He had always prided himself on being able to look another man, a customer, potential client or partner, anyone for that matter in the eye.  But now Keru found himself wilting under the heat from those eyes.  “I have been honest in every other thing in our lives Nanae, you must believe me,” he said.  “This is the one place I have not been, but I am ready to do so now.”

            Nanae continued to stare, her eyes unblinking.  After a moment more, she inhaled slowly.  “I want to believe you, Keru,” she said, “but the only way I can at this point, is to hear all of it.  When did you become involved with Ebissan?  How did all of this occur?”

            Keru took a long, slow puff from his cigar, then placed it in the ornate ashtray beside him.  “It happened,” he explained, “before you came to work for my father.  At the time I was one of his assistants; I had just graduated from university, and worked in the office.  Ebissan came to apply for an open position, and I conducted the initial interview.  Though having only a high school education, there was something about her that impressed me:  I sensed a great intelligence, plus a willingness to work hard and to excel.  I personally recommended her to Father, and he too was impressed by what he heard and saw.”

            Nanae drew up her right leg and crossed it over the other, and much of it was now revealed by the slit of the silk dress.  The expression on her face had turned venomous; Nanae now looked much like the stereotypical, evil Oriental woman seen in so many films.  “So when did you become involved?” 

            “Not long after,” Keru admitted.  “We worked together on an initial project, and I found I liked her very much.  Though from the lower classes, I was very pleased with her work ethic.  Even on the most menial of tasks, Ebi did all she was asked, and did well.  We began to see one another, at first for drinks after work, then dinner.  A few months later, I learned she was pregnant.”

            The stare remained the same, and Nanae’s eyes did not blink.  “You were the one responsible, then?”

            Keru nodded.  “I was.”  He noted that his cigar had gone out in the ashtray, but took no further interest in it.  “I spoke with Father,” Keru went on, “and he was most disappointed, but asked what action I wished to take in the matter.  I told him I would do what was right; I would propose to her, and be the father of the child.”

            “So why did you not marry Ebissan?”

            “She refused.”  Keru shrugged, and even Nanae seemed surprised at this.  “I proposed,” he said, “and I told her I would take every responsibility that a man should in these things.  Ebi refused me; she said that while she did have deep feelings for me, she did not love me the way a man and woman should be in love.  She was also deeply ashamed of what had happened; Ebi felt she had dishonored herself, her family and the company by allowing this to happen.

            ‘In the end,” Keru concluded, “we made a compromise.  Father did indeed like and value Ebissan very much, and he gave her a job in the company for as long as she wanted one.  I took care of Ebi’s physicians, her care, and I provided for Minoru.  I was asked by Ebi to not be involved in his upbringing.” 

            Keru took a deep breath.  “I’m sure you understand was difficult.”

            “I am sure,” Nanae replied with unveiled sarcasm.  “I came to work for your father, not long after all this,” she said.  “I remember Ebi’s pregnancy.  What attracted you to me?”

            Keru looked Nanae in the eye, and found this time he could.  “Because,” he said quietly, “I was in love in you the moment I met you, and I swear on the good name of our family, that is true.  You and Ebissan were two different women; I had resigned myself to the reality that she and I could never be, and that I could not be the father to Minoru that I should have been, and wanted to be.  We had agreed that our relationship and Minoru’s lineage would remain secret, until the time was right.”

            “But it seems,” Nanae responded, “that Minoru may have been correct.  You might never have let this secret pass your lips, or his.”  The woman uncrossed her legs, and sat upright in her chair, her gaze locked on Keru.  “He had a right to know who his father was, Keru.  When did he learn of it?”

            “Ebissan told him when he was twelve,” Keru explained, “after his repeatedly asking.  She told him why things were as they were, and that if ever he was in need I would help him.  After Ebi passed away, Minoru went to live with her older brother, but that did not last long.  Minoru came to me and said he did not get along with the man; he wanted to be back here, and so I arranged for the apartment, and whatever else Minoru required.”

             Nanae’ s eyes narrowed to a glare.  “You made him promise to keep quiet, didn’t you?” She demanded, though her voice did not rise.  “And you allowed Asuka to pursue Minoru as a suitor, even though you knew he was partly her own flesh and blood?”

            Keru leaned forward in his chair, his hands knotted together.  “Yes.  I knew one day we would have to bring the secret to light.  I had hoped that it could be done differently, but I know now how foolish I’ve been.  You are right,” he continued, “I denied Minoru what he should have had after Ebissan died, and yes, Asuka should have known.  You as well.”

            Nanae slowly stood up.  “I appreciate you coming clean, at least now, Keru,” she told him, “but you have a great deal of damage to repair.  Did you not think that I would not accept Minoru as my son?  What were you afraid of?”

            Keru now looked up at her.  “I was afraid of many things,” he replied, “I can’t even begin to explain them all.”  He was about to go on, when Nanae held up her hand. 

            “Say no more,” she said.  “I have no more need to listen to you, Keru.  We have a daughter up there that needs us, and a son as well.  I must think on all I have heard before I can decide in my own mind what to do.  As for you Keru, you have decisions of your own you must make.  Decide well.”

            Nanae turned.  “I will not be sleeping in our room tonight, Keru.  Don’t come looking for me.”

            Keru stared at the wall; the click of Nanae’s heels as she walked away was the only sound he heard.

            “Here, put this on.”  Aimi slid a white terrycloth robe over Asuka’s shoulders and helped her into the garment.  They were standing in Asuka’s bathroom before the huge mirror.  Her drenched and muddy clothes were on the floor in a pile next to the tub.

            Asuka was in a fog; she still reeled from the pain of Keru’s assault, as well as Minoru’s confession.  She leaned against the sink, while Aimi wet a facecloth.  “I’m sorry if I’m out of it, Aimi,” she whispered, her voice strained.  “I still can’t believe what I’ve heard.”

            “I know,” Aimi replied, “Minoru didn’t tell us on the way.  He only said that things had come to a head, and that he had to tell all.”  She wet a facecloth and handed it to Asuka, then picked up a brush and began to work on the ends of her damp hair with it. 

            Asuka winced as she held the cloth to her face; she leaned forward and felt Aimi holding a length of her hair while brushing out the tangled ends and trying not to strip them or cause her pain.  She closed her eyes, not wanting to see what a fright she must look like in the mirror.

            At length Aimi finished and Asuka sat on the edge of the bathtub.  She felt Aimi sit beside her, and put her arm around her shoulders.  “I’ll stay,” she offered, “if your parents will allow me to.”

            “They will, at least Mom will,” Asuka replied, “and thank you, Aimi.”  She sniffed and put her head in her hands.  “I feel like such a baby,” she mumbled, and started to weep again.  “All my life I’ve leaned on someone--my parents, Minoru, and now you.  You must think I’m a spoiled, stupid child.”

            “No!  I don’t think that!” Aimi held Asuka to her tightly.  “Today is one of those days where things cannot be fully understood,” she added.  “Your father’s actions, what Minoru said, that’s enough to cause even the strongest person to break.  It’s all right, I understand.”

            Asuka looked over at Aimi; through her blurred vision, she saw the girl’s wide brown eyes, and an accompanying expression of honesty and concern.  “We may be very different,” Aimi said as she caressed Asuka’s unwounded cheek, “but we are the same.  We’re people; we have the exact same feelings.  Believe me when I say that, Asuka--I do understand.”

            “I know you do,” Asuka stammered as she leaned against Aimi’s shoulder.  “My father’s never hit me before, but it’s in line with what he’s become.”

            “Become?”

            Asuka wiped her eyes and face with the cloth.  “I want my dad back.”  At Aimi’s searching look, she continued, “The man that was my dad is no more--the last few years, I started calling him Father, because he seemed to like that better.  I don’t know when it began, but he became hard, all the time.  He could be a hard man in business, sure, but when he came home he changed.  He was my dad--I want that man back.”

            Aimi nodded and continued to hold Asuka.  “I only hope he can be brought back,” she said, “but what about Minoru?”

            “He’s my brother,” Asuka whispered.  “I have to see him as that, and not what I dreamed and fantasized so much about.  I don’t know how I’m going to do that.  Aimi, there was no sex between us, nothing like that, even though I wanted it.  Now I know why Minoru was so distant--he knew.  He could not let it happen.”

            “That was very noble of him,” Aimi replied.  “He could have taken advantage of you, under the guise of not knowing; but that is not how he was raised, nor how he is.”

            Asuka shook her head.  “Aimi,” she asked, “Minoru said something outside; he said someone else loves me, and is very close.”  She looked at Aimi.  “Did he mean Kaz?”

            Aimi inhaled slowly.  She knew that she could not hide in her face what Asuka had suspected.  “Asuka, I don’t know,” Aimi replied, “and that is the truth.  I know Kaz has great respect for you, but I cannot answer that question.  That will have to come from him.”

            “I should not even be thinking about that,” Asuka said, as they stood and went into the bedroom.  Asuka went to her closet and slid the doors open.  “I have a spare robe here,” she said, “you should get out of those wet clothes.”  She found the article and brought it out, a duplicate of the one she was now wearing.  Asuka handed it to Aimi, then crawled onto her bed.  She lay on her stomach, and buried her face in one of the pillows. 

            Aimi followed her to the bed.  She sat beside Asuka and stroked her hair, and said nothing.

            Minoru was huddled in the small, dark room.  How he and Kaz had ended up in this place he still wasn’t sure, but here they were.  “I think,” he said, “I have done what needed to be done.  The consequences of it however, are what I fear.”

            “Why would you?”  Kaz was sitting on his platform bed.  He looked down at Minoru, who had drawn himself up on the floor, his back to the wall.  Even with all that was swirling about in his mind, Minoru thought this room was as small as most of the others in the homes in this neighborhood.  There was barely room enough in here for Kaz’s bed, chest of drawers and some bookshelves. 

            But the aesthetics of the room mattered little at this point.  “Did Asuka’s, uh, I mean, your father,” Kaz asked, “keep you silent about this?”

            “To some extent, yes.”  Minoru stared at the floor over his folded arms, “but I was never under any threat.  I kept silent out of respect for him, knowing that the revealing of my true bloodline would cause him great difficulty.  I can only imagine what Nanae is doing to him right now.”

            Kaz smiled grimly.  It would serve the son of a bitch right, he thought to himself.  “Well,” he added, “what could Keru actually do to you?  There’s not much he can, is there?”
            “He could cut me off,” Minoru replied, “but that would not bother me in the least.  I could sleep in Kaldera’s loft; despite what appearances I put up Kaz, I don’t need a lot to live on, or in.  That would do just fine.  I don’t think Keru will do that, though--Nanae and Asuka would never permit that.  Nanae and my mother were dear friends, and she is not a woman that would visit any sort of revenge on the child of such a friend.  The hard thing,” he added, “is trying to go back there, to see Asuka and to tell her how sorry I am.”

            Kaz shrugged.  “I can’t tell you what to say there,” he said, “but she is what I think you might call a ‘lady of character.’  What I mean is,” he continued after another moment’s thought, “she has such internal strength.  Other than that first time, when she seemed a little unnerved by us, I still thought Asuka was very much like you.  She has become more open to things; I began to realize you two were a lot alike, but,” Kaz chuckled, “I never expected this.”

            Minoru nodded and listened.  He could hear voices in a nearby room, Kaz’s parents; what they were talking about he didn’t know.  “The story has taken itself into a new chapter,” Minoru said quietly, “and things have now changed from the way they once were.  Those days are now gone; ‘Quoth the raven, nevermore.’”

            There was a quiet knock on Asuka’s bedroom door.  The room was in darkness, as the falls around the bed were closed.  She sat up; Aimi lay to her left, and by her own movements, she too was awake.

            “Asuka, are you still awake?”  It was Keru, and the voice sounded very different.

            “Just a moment, Father,” she called.  She slid out of bed, and said, “Aimi, you can stay.  I’ll talk to him.  I have to stand on my own.  I’m going to.”

            Aimi nodded as she lay against the pillows.  “Good luck,” she whispered.

            Asuka smiled slightly, then went to the door.  Opening it a crack, she saw her father.  He was still in his business suit, and in the shadows of the darkened hall looked haggard, almost sick.  “May I speak with you?” He asked.

            “Of course, Father,” Asuka replied and slid the door fully open.  Aware that Aimi was in the bedroom, Keru motioned to the two chairs situated around a table by the hall windows.  Asuka nodded and stepped out.  All the lights were off in the hall; the only one came from the moon through the window.

            As they sat, Keru began, “Asuka, I first must sincerely apologize for my behavior.  I am sorry I struck you; that was a terrible wrong.  Also, do not worry about your school or your friends.  Those things do not have to change, and they will not.”

            Asuka nodded, but said nothing.  “I have spoken with your mother about Minoru,” Keru continued, “and now I will tell you.  I promise to hold nothing back, and you may ask me anything you wish.  I will answer as best I can.” 

            Asuka nodded again.  Keru took his daughter back through the same explanation he gave to Nanae; he elaborated on the nature of his relationship with Ebissan, her pregnancy and the situation that followed it.  Keru also described how he became involved with Nanae, and how all things had built up to this point.

            Asuka did not ask any questions; she merely listened and took in all Keru had to say.  When her father finished, she asked, “What becomes of Minoru, Father?  Will he move in here, with us?  Will he stay where he is?”

            “Whichever he chooses,” Keru replied.  “I will leave that decision to him.  How do you feel about him?”

            “I accept Minoru as my brother, whole-heartedly,” she replied, “but Father, there is one thing I must ask of you.”
            Keru nodded.  “Do.”

            “There is only one thing,” Asuka whispered, “one thing that I desire from you.  I don’t forget, nor am I ungrateful for all you have done for me, and for all the advantages you have given me--but there is only one thing I need.”

            “And that is?”

            Asuka took a deep breath.  “My dad.”  She saw Keru give a start, and she added, “I was telling Aimi about this earlier.  I remember my dad as a big, strong, but good-hearted man--the one who always smiled when he came home from work, the one who always picked me up in his arms when I was little, who always held me, and who I never feared.  In recent years,” Asuka went on, as she now stared at the floor, “he has gone away.  Dad turned into the man I call Father.  You wanted that, I thought--you looked for respect from me that I long thought I’d not given you.  So I called you that.  I became afraid of you.”

            Asuka put up a hand in the darkness.  “Don’t think this is a fantasy Father,” she quickly continued, “because I was.  I feared your anger, your disapproval, and your wrath.  I could tell you did not approve of my new friends such as Aimi, but I needed them.  I needed to see how life is lived beyond the walls of this house, beyond the walls of the academy, and beyond the circles we walk in.  They’re no different than we are.”

            She stood up and walked the one step over to Keru’s chair.  “I want my dad,” she said again. 

            Keru stood and took Asuka in his arms, and she clung to him.  “You shall have him,” he whispered.  “If he is not here now, I will find him.  For you, for Minoru, and for your mother--I promise."

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And there you have it!  Let me know what you think!

"Take Another Road," Chapter 18--Perfect for Mei

Here we go, with another chapter of "Take Another Road."  Before so doing, I must do a bit of an update on things:

The Dharma Fools will again be back onstage Wednesday evening at the Harrisburg Midtown Arts Center, aka HMAC.  Open Mic Night starts at 7:30, hosted by the amazing Mike Banks...it's a lot of fun and a great to be had.

Now, onward we go...enjoy, and let me know what you think!

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Chapter 18—Perfect for Mei

            Mei turned in her seat on the Metro, and tried to see ahead to the approaching station.  She was decked out once again in her Gothic Lolita rig, and headed for Harajuku, where she’d meet up with Midori.  There was a still a few minutes to go, and she cycled through her iPod while waiting. 

            The car she was riding in was full of cosplayers, Furries, and just about every anime show or film one could name was represented.  There was also a knot of Ganguro girls, a curious bunch that (allegedly) emulated the Southern California lifestyle, by caking on layers of dark pancake makeup to make them looked tanned.  Pre-cancero Girls, Mei called them, generally because they were obnoxious, even by Otaku standards.  That, plus their platinum blonde and other wildly colored wigs attracted the most attention of the car. 

            She hid her smirk as she looked at some of the more conventionally dressed Japanese, plus the few tourists who looked absolutely frightened, like they’d walked onto the set of Night of the Living Dead.  Mei found the song she wanted and sat back.

“I can’t help it, you’re perfect for me

I could care less, you’re perfect for me

I’ve been waiting, you’re perfect for me

Right now…”

            The singer sounded like an aging punk rocker with a young hardcore band behind him, but Mei didn’t care.  The song reminded her of Midori, and the lyrics, though a little goofy at certain points was perfect, for her.  She nodded in time to the beat, and thought about her discussion that morning with Reiko.

            Mei had done an early workout, and then made sure her mother would be all right for a few hours.  Reiko assured her she would be, and added as they sat on her bed while Mei wrapped her right wrist, “You need some time with your significant other.”

            Mei laughed as she lost her grip on the Ace bandage, and had to rewrap Reiko’s hand.  Both of Reiko’s wrists tended to swell up, and the bandages gave her support to take hold of items. 

            “Yeah, well,” she commented, “I’m glad you are joking about it Mom, instead of being mad at me.”

            “How could I be angry,” Reiko replied, “when my daughter radiates a light I’ve never seen from her?”

            Mei’s eyebrows went up.  “A light?”

            “Yes.”  Reiko ran her free hand through Mei’s hair.  “Midori is a charming girl, and she has needed someone as much as you have.  I don’t know much of her life, but from what you have told me, you two girls have a great deal in common.  If you are in love, then so be it.  I will always support you, Mei, whichever path you choose.”

            “It’s a different kind of love…”  Mei smiled as she thought of the conversation.  The train was slowing up, and she was on her feet to get to the door quickly.  Mom’s cool; she has always been, but I am so thankful she’s on our side.  I wonder how Midori’s parents will react when they find out.  They seem pretty open-minded, but still…something like this is generally accepted here, but not always.

            The train came to a stop, and Mei strode in her “bitch boots” to the stairs through the crush of commuters.  She tucked her earbuds inside her school bag, made sure her long hair was out of the strap and stepped into Harajuku. 

            Immediately, Mei was in an element familiar to her:  most of the people here were in costume, apart from the tourists and those who actually worked in the area.  Each time was different here, Mei knew, a surreal wonderland of color and outlandish fashion.  Shops with brightly colored awnings and window dressings promised good deals on top-line merchandise; street musicians, particularly kodo drummers and shamisen players vied for attention and tips amongst the revelry.  But Mei was not looking at, nor listening to any of it.  She was making for the boardwalk area, where she and Midori were to meet.

            Then she saw her.  Midori’s costume was a little more subdued today, a very short grey skirt (almost completely covered by Mei’s old jacket), white hose with black ribbons that went to mid-thigh, and a pair of patent leather shoes with chunky heels.  Mei started to have that feeling the moment she saw Midori…but who was this she was talking to?

            Mei ducked behind a news pillar.  This person was not in costume; that was certain.  It was a woman, but Mei could not ascertain her age, due to her shaved head and androgynous red and orange robes.  It was a Buddhist nun, and there were a group of others standing nearby, apparently waiting for this one to finish her conversation with Midori.

            Mei continued to watch.  The woman was several years older than Midori, but the two were speaking to each other in a very personal manner, and both seemed extremely happy to see one another.  Midori never told me she knew a nun; I wonder if this is a relative of hers.  I’d love to meet her, but this talk looks like a private one.

            After a few moments more, the two held each other in a long embrace, and kissed one another on the cheeks.  The nun waved and rejoined her colleagues, and all walked off.  Mei watched as Midori stood there, her hands together in front of her, smiling.  The meeting with this woman was obviously unexpected.

            Mei casually walked around the pillar as if she’d just arrived.  Midori saw her immediately, ran to her and practically leaped into her arms, hailing her friend and kissing her lips.  “I’m so glad to see you,” she said, “you’ve just missed an old friend of mine.”

            “Oh, really?”  Mei hated to lie, but feigned knowing.  “Who was it?”

            “Her name is Lobsang, but that’s really her divinity name,” Midori explained.  “It’s Sherpa for ‘kind-hearted one,’ and she was.”

            “How did you know her?”  Mei asked.

            “Well,” Midori began to explain, then paused.  “Lobsang was a mentor to me when I was little.”  Then she stopped again.

            “What is it?”  Mei reached out and took Midori gently by the shoulders.  A haunted look had come across Midori’s face.

            Midori looked up at Mei, and there were mixed emotions in those huge brown eyes.  “I need to tell you,” she said, “come on.” 

            Taking Mei’s hand, Midori led her onto the long wooden walkway, and they traveled a distance down it in silence.  Mei understood that something big was coming, and they needed some sort of privacy.  Eventually they found an open spot, and Midori slid her legs onto the second rail of the fence-like protective barrier.  As she leaned on the top rail, Mei joined her in a similar fashion. 

            “I haven’t told you about certain things,” Midori said as she stared forward and rested her chin on her forearms.  “Seeing Lobsang today brings it all back.  Mei, you’ve noticed that my Mom and Dad are pretty young?”

            “Yes.”  Mei watched Midori as she spoke.  “I assumed you had been adopted at an older age, not as a baby.”

            “You are right,” Midori said.  “I was adopted when I was nine.  Something happened in Osaka, where I used to live.  We’d moved here just before you and I met, but that’s where I was born.

            ‘My father,” she continued, “I never knew.  He split from my mother when I was very small, and I barely remember him.  So it was just my mom and my sister and me.”

            Mei turned further in surprise.  “You have a sister?”

            “Had.”  Midori continued to stare ahead.  Her fingers now shook, and Midori gripped the sleeves of her jacket to make it stop.  “Her Japanese name was Takako, but I used to not be able to pronounce it, so we all called her Taka.  She was three years older than me.  Anyway, after our father left, it was the three of us in a tiny apartment. 

            ‘Mom didn’t have much education, and being Korean it was pretty hard to find work,” Midori explained.  “She worked two jobs a lot, and I don’t remember seeing her much.  We couldn’t afford a babysitter, so Taka was the one who looked after me.”

            “That’s awfully young to have that job,” Mei commented.

            Midori nodded.  “But Taka really was good to me,” she replied, as she turned to face Mei.  “We got along so well, never fought or anything.  She also told me a lot about how things were:  when I’d ask about Dad, she would tell me that he had to leave, and that Mom was working really hard for us, and that I should not ask for anything too special or expensive for my birthday or for the holidays.  The money just was not there.  I understood, as best as a small child can, but then again it didn’t matter.  Taka and I were so close; having her in my life made it all right.”

            Mei slid her arm around Midori’s shoulders.  She had stared off again, and Mei knew there was more to come.  “What happened to them?”

            “It was what happened to me, Mei,” Midori replied.  “I was five years old at the time.  It was winter, and I remember it being very, very cold that season.  I remember that Mom seemed to be home more than usual.  Taka told me that she’d lost one of her jobs, and that things were even tighter than before.”

            Midori had set her teeth behind her lips, but only for a moment.  “Then one night,” she continued, “Taka took me into our bedroom and got me dressed to go out.  I didn’t have a winter jacket, and neither did my sister.  But we did the best we could with what clothes we had.

            ‘I asked where we were going,” Midori continued, “and Taka said Mom was sending us to the store for a couple of items.  I didn’t think anything of it; we often did that for her.

            ‘But soon…” Midori shuddered slightly before going on, “I realized we not going to the grocery store near our apartment; we were going in a different direction, to another neighborhood that I’d never been in before.”

            Midori reached over to Mei, and took her other hand in both of hers.  “I asked Taka why we were going this way,” she said, “and she turned and looked down at me, with the saddest look on her face.  She finally said that Mom needed a couple of things at a certain store that we could not get at the other.  I had no reason to doubt her.

            ‘It was getting very dark, and very cold now,” Midori went on.  “There weren’t many streetlights in this part of the city, and it was spooky.  We got the things Mom wanted, and we started for home.  After a block or two, Taka turned to me and said, ‘Hey!  Race you home!’”

            Mei gasped inwardly as Midori continued, “We did that all the time, and I told her, ‘You’re on!’  Taka took off running and of course she got ahead of me quickly.  She kept running, and she didn’t look back.”

            “My God,” Mei breathed as she pulled Midori to her.  Midori continued to stare forward, dry-eyed as the story tumbled from her lips in a slow rush.  “Have you ever felt so completely alone, so lost and unwanted, as that?  I ran after Taka, yelling for her to stop, she was going too fast.  But she ran off into the night, and I never saw her again.”

            Midori rested her head in Mei’s arms as she continued:  “I didn’t know where I was.  None of the streets were familiar, and I kept running, hoping to catch Taka or to find a street, a building or some landmark I recognized.  I found neither.  I ran till I was exhausted; I was in the street, alone and knew no one.  I had no money; I didn’t even know my phone number.  I tried to stop someone for help, but for a long time, no one would.  Who’s going to help a Korean?”

            Mei massaged Midori’s shoulder with one hand and ran her other through the girl’s hair.  “All these people,” Midori said, “just walked past me.  They acted like I didn’t exist.  Finally, a young couple did stop.  They calmed me down and called the police.  Two officers drove up, and I gave my address.  They took me home, and said they would find out why this happened.  But when we got there, all we found was the landlord and one of our neighbors from the floor.  I was told that Mom and Taka were seen leaving the apartment, each with a suitcase.  The landlord told the police Mom was behind on the rent, and that he was going to evict us.

            ‘I remember being in a state of shock.  Mom was gone, Taka was gone, and I felt like nobody wanted me.  The police could not get a hold of anyone from Child Services that late at night, so they took me to a temple run by Buddhist monks.  I was taken in, while the police tried to find my family.”

            “Did they?”  Mei asked.

            “No.”  Midori shook her head, raised it slightly, and then leaned on Mei’s shoulder again.  “They disappeared.  I don’t know what became of them.  Anyway, the elder monks assigned Lobsang to look after me.  There were other orphans there, mostly Korean children.  Lobsang told me that one of the missions of the temple was to help the children that nobody wanted.  She made a space for me in her tiny room, and she looked after me for four years.”

            Midori sat up, but she clung to Mei.  “That’s where I learned about meditation,” she explained.  “I used to follow Lobsang to the hall, and seeing everyone sit and do it, I thought I should as well.  That delighted everyone, and I became inseparable from Lobsang.  The others called me her ‘Shadow,’ but it was meant well.  I made friends with the other kids there, but Lobsang was everything to me—my second sister, my second mother, my only real friend.

            ‘I thought a lot about what had happened.  I don’t blame Taka, nor do I hate her for what she did, Mei--I know Mom ordered her to lose me on the way home.  Maybe she thought one less mouth to feed would make it easier.”

            “Still,” Mei replied, trying to suppress the anger and sadness in her, “that’s not the way to do it.”

            “I know,” Midori said, “and I once asked Lobsang why Mom would do such a thing.  She said she didn’t know, and we can’t always know the mind of another in a situation like that.  Lobsang said she thought that Mom must have been so stressed out that her mind made decisions she wasn’t aware of, or didn’t understand.  Anyway, I feel worse for Taka.”

            “How?”

            “Taka would be 18 now,” Midori said, “and I wish I could know how she is.  She protected me, watched out for me so well.  To be told to get rid of her little sister must have been terribly painful.  I wonder how she has borne that.”

            Midori slid her feet back to the walkway, and Mei joined her.  As they walked back toward the crowd, Midori held to Mei.  “Mom and Dad visited the temple when I was nine.  Believe it or not, that couple that helped me that night in the street?  It was them; they were looking to adopt, and Mom remembered that night, and wondered where I had ended up.  They made inquiries, and found me.  Mom said she knew we were meant to be a family.”

            Mei smiled.  “That’s amazing,” she said, “but yeah, she was right.  I’m ashamed to admit this, Midori,” she continued, “but I did see Lobsang with you.  Just the very end of the conversation, and it looked like something I should not intrude on.  Was that the first time you’d seen her since leaving the temple?”
            “Yes, we’d stayed in touch by letter on occasion,” Midori explained, “and she is well.  She is mentoring another little girl now.  I do wish you could have met her,” she added as they stopped along the beginning of one of the crowded streets, “you would not have interfered.  I did tell Lobsang about you, and she is happy for us.”

            They stopped, and Mei smiled as Midori leaned her body against her.  She felt the girl’s arms go around her waist.  “I’m even more astounded now,” Mei said as she stroked Midori’s cheek, “by you.”

            Midori smiled in response.  “How?”

            “You didn’t cry or break down while telling me that story,” Mei said, “and you are so forgiving of Taka.  Add to it, your happiness and kindness towards others, me especially is touching.”

            Midori bowed her head on Mei’s shoulder and said, “It is what I’ve learned.  In Buddhism, you learn to love, you learn to be kind, to yourself and others; and you learn to forgive, truly forgive once you understand everything.  I have nothing to complain about:  I’m alive, I have a family, I have friends and I am in love.”  She looked up and kissed Mei on the lips.  “That’s with you, you know.”

            Mei smiled and kissed Midori back, and the two held to each other as a costumed world turned around them, not knowing or caring about it, for the moment.

###

(Writer's Note:  "Perfect" is written by John Cale, and appears on his CD, blackAcetate, 2005.

There you have it!