Take Another Road, Chapter 20--"Talking Back to the Night"

Here we are, with Chapter 20 of "Take Another Road."  Before we begin, my thanks to everyone who has wished me a happy #46.  I am most grateful.

Here we go...

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Chapter 20--Talking Back to the Night

            Keru sat in his usual chair, but he was far from comfortable.  A cigar was lit in his fingers, his index and middle appendages holding it tightly to keep it from falling.  He was not alone in the room; sitting across from him was Nanae, and Keru was under a stare that fixed and held him.  Daisuke had left; Keru now knew he was the one who had warned Minoru, but that was hardly a concern right now.

            “What else have you lied about?”  Nanae’s face was not angry; it was impassive, but behind the dark eyes of his wife was the rare but terrible anger she possessed.  Keru expected it, and for once would take what he had coming to him.

            “Nothing.”  Keru did his best to look Nanae in the eye, but it was hard.  He had always prided himself on being able to look another man, a customer, potential client or partner, anyone for that matter in the eye.  But now Keru found himself wilting under the heat from those eyes.  “I have been honest in every other thing in our lives Nanae, you must believe me,” he said.  “This is the one place I have not been, but I am ready to do so now.”

            Nanae continued to stare, her eyes unblinking.  After a moment more, she inhaled slowly.  “I want to believe you, Keru,” she said, “but the only way I can at this point, is to hear all of it.  When did you become involved with Ebissan?  How did all of this occur?”

            Keru took a long, slow puff from his cigar, then placed it in the ornate ashtray beside him.  “It happened,” he explained, “before you came to work for my father.  At the time I was one of his assistants; I had just graduated from university, and worked in the office.  Ebissan came to apply for an open position, and I conducted the initial interview.  Though having only a high school education, there was something about her that impressed me:  I sensed a great intelligence, plus a willingness to work hard and to excel.  I personally recommended her to Father, and he too was impressed by what he heard and saw.”

            Nanae drew up her right leg and crossed it over the other, and much of it was now revealed by the slit of the silk dress.  The expression on her face had turned venomous; Nanae now looked much like the stereotypical, evil Oriental woman seen in so many films.  “So when did you become involved?” 

            “Not long after,” Keru admitted.  “We worked together on an initial project, and I found I liked her very much.  Though from the lower classes, I was very pleased with her work ethic.  Even on the most menial of tasks, Ebi did all she was asked, and did well.  We began to see one another, at first for drinks after work, then dinner.  A few months later, I learned she was pregnant.”

            The stare remained the same, and Nanae’s eyes did not blink.  “You were the one responsible, then?”

            Keru nodded.  “I was.”  He noted that his cigar had gone out in the ashtray, but took no further interest in it.  “I spoke with Father,” Keru went on, “and he was most disappointed, but asked what action I wished to take in the matter.  I told him I would do what was right; I would propose to her, and be the father of the child.”

            “So why did you not marry Ebissan?”

            “She refused.”  Keru shrugged, and even Nanae seemed surprised at this.  “I proposed,” he said, “and I told her I would take every responsibility that a man should in these things.  Ebi refused me; she said that while she did have deep feelings for me, she did not love me the way a man and woman should be in love.  She was also deeply ashamed of what had happened; Ebi felt she had dishonored herself, her family and the company by allowing this to happen.

            ‘In the end,” Keru concluded, “we made a compromise.  Father did indeed like and value Ebissan very much, and he gave her a job in the company for as long as she wanted one.  I took care of Ebi’s physicians, her care, and I provided for Minoru.  I was asked by Ebi to not be involved in his upbringing.” 

            Keru took a deep breath.  “I’m sure you understand was difficult.”

            “I am sure,” Nanae replied with unveiled sarcasm.  “I came to work for your father, not long after all this,” she said.  “I remember Ebi’s pregnancy.  What attracted you to me?”

            Keru looked Nanae in the eye, and found this time he could.  “Because,” he said quietly, “I was in love in you the moment I met you, and I swear on the good name of our family, that is true.  You and Ebissan were two different women; I had resigned myself to the reality that she and I could never be, and that I could not be the father to Minoru that I should have been, and wanted to be.  We had agreed that our relationship and Minoru’s lineage would remain secret, until the time was right.”

            “But it seems,” Nanae responded, “that Minoru may have been correct.  You might never have let this secret pass your lips, or his.”  The woman uncrossed her legs, and sat upright in her chair, her gaze locked on Keru.  “He had a right to know who his father was, Keru.  When did he learn of it?”

            “Ebissan told him when he was twelve,” Keru explained, “after his repeatedly asking.  She told him why things were as they were, and that if ever he was in need I would help him.  After Ebi passed away, Minoru went to live with her older brother, but that did not last long.  Minoru came to me and said he did not get along with the man; he wanted to be back here, and so I arranged for the apartment, and whatever else Minoru required.”

             Nanae’ s eyes narrowed to a glare.  “You made him promise to keep quiet, didn’t you?” She demanded, though her voice did not rise.  “And you allowed Asuka to pursue Minoru as a suitor, even though you knew he was partly her own flesh and blood?”

            Keru leaned forward in his chair, his hands knotted together.  “Yes.  I knew one day we would have to bring the secret to light.  I had hoped that it could be done differently, but I know now how foolish I’ve been.  You are right,” he continued, “I denied Minoru what he should have had after Ebissan died, and yes, Asuka should have known.  You as well.”

            Nanae slowly stood up.  “I appreciate you coming clean, at least now, Keru,” she told him, “but you have a great deal of damage to repair.  Did you not think that I would not accept Minoru as my son?  What were you afraid of?”

            Keru now looked up at her.  “I was afraid of many things,” he replied, “I can’t even begin to explain them all.”  He was about to go on, when Nanae held up her hand. 

            “Say no more,” she said.  “I have no more need to listen to you, Keru.  We have a daughter up there that needs us, and a son as well.  I must think on all I have heard before I can decide in my own mind what to do.  As for you Keru, you have decisions of your own you must make.  Decide well.”

            Nanae turned.  “I will not be sleeping in our room tonight, Keru.  Don’t come looking for me.”

            Keru stared at the wall; the click of Nanae’s heels as she walked away was the only sound he heard.

            “Here, put this on.”  Aimi slid a white terrycloth robe over Asuka’s shoulders and helped her into the garment.  They were standing in Asuka’s bathroom before the huge mirror.  Her drenched and muddy clothes were on the floor in a pile next to the tub.

            Asuka was in a fog; she still reeled from the pain of Keru’s assault, as well as Minoru’s confession.  She leaned against the sink, while Aimi wet a facecloth.  “I’m sorry if I’m out of it, Aimi,” she whispered, her voice strained.  “I still can’t believe what I’ve heard.”

            “I know,” Aimi replied, “Minoru didn’t tell us on the way.  He only said that things had come to a head, and that he had to tell all.”  She wet a facecloth and handed it to Asuka, then picked up a brush and began to work on the ends of her damp hair with it. 

            Asuka winced as she held the cloth to her face; she leaned forward and felt Aimi holding a length of her hair while brushing out the tangled ends and trying not to strip them or cause her pain.  She closed her eyes, not wanting to see what a fright she must look like in the mirror.

            At length Aimi finished and Asuka sat on the edge of the bathtub.  She felt Aimi sit beside her, and put her arm around her shoulders.  “I’ll stay,” she offered, “if your parents will allow me to.”

            “They will, at least Mom will,” Asuka replied, “and thank you, Aimi.”  She sniffed and put her head in her hands.  “I feel like such a baby,” she mumbled, and started to weep again.  “All my life I’ve leaned on someone--my parents, Minoru, and now you.  You must think I’m a spoiled, stupid child.”

            “No!  I don’t think that!” Aimi held Asuka to her tightly.  “Today is one of those days where things cannot be fully understood,” she added.  “Your father’s actions, what Minoru said, that’s enough to cause even the strongest person to break.  It’s all right, I understand.”

            Asuka looked over at Aimi; through her blurred vision, she saw the girl’s wide brown eyes, and an accompanying expression of honesty and concern.  “We may be very different,” Aimi said as she caressed Asuka’s unwounded cheek, “but we are the same.  We’re people; we have the exact same feelings.  Believe me when I say that, Asuka--I do understand.”

            “I know you do,” Asuka stammered as she leaned against Aimi’s shoulder.  “My father’s never hit me before, but it’s in line with what he’s become.”

            “Become?”

            Asuka wiped her eyes and face with the cloth.  “I want my dad back.”  At Aimi’s searching look, she continued, “The man that was my dad is no more--the last few years, I started calling him Father, because he seemed to like that better.  I don’t know when it began, but he became hard, all the time.  He could be a hard man in business, sure, but when he came home he changed.  He was my dad--I want that man back.”

            Aimi nodded and continued to hold Asuka.  “I only hope he can be brought back,” she said, “but what about Minoru?”

            “He’s my brother,” Asuka whispered.  “I have to see him as that, and not what I dreamed and fantasized so much about.  I don’t know how I’m going to do that.  Aimi, there was no sex between us, nothing like that, even though I wanted it.  Now I know why Minoru was so distant--he knew.  He could not let it happen.”

            “That was very noble of him,” Aimi replied.  “He could have taken advantage of you, under the guise of not knowing; but that is not how he was raised, nor how he is.”

            Asuka shook her head.  “Aimi,” she asked, “Minoru said something outside; he said someone else loves me, and is very close.”  She looked at Aimi.  “Did he mean Kaz?”

            Aimi inhaled slowly.  She knew that she could not hide in her face what Asuka had suspected.  “Asuka, I don’t know,” Aimi replied, “and that is the truth.  I know Kaz has great respect for you, but I cannot answer that question.  That will have to come from him.”

            “I should not even be thinking about that,” Asuka said, as they stood and went into the bedroom.  Asuka went to her closet and slid the doors open.  “I have a spare robe here,” she said, “you should get out of those wet clothes.”  She found the article and brought it out, a duplicate of the one she was now wearing.  Asuka handed it to Aimi, then crawled onto her bed.  She lay on her stomach, and buried her face in one of the pillows. 

            Aimi followed her to the bed.  She sat beside Asuka and stroked her hair, and said nothing.

            Minoru was huddled in the small, dark room.  How he and Kaz had ended up in this place he still wasn’t sure, but here they were.  “I think,” he said, “I have done what needed to be done.  The consequences of it however, are what I fear.”

            “Why would you?”  Kaz was sitting on his platform bed.  He looked down at Minoru, who had drawn himself up on the floor, his back to the wall.  Even with all that was swirling about in his mind, Minoru thought this room was as small as most of the others in the homes in this neighborhood.  There was barely room enough in here for Kaz’s bed, chest of drawers and some bookshelves. 

            But the aesthetics of the room mattered little at this point.  “Did Asuka’s, uh, I mean, your father,” Kaz asked, “keep you silent about this?”

            “To some extent, yes.”  Minoru stared at the floor over his folded arms, “but I was never under any threat.  I kept silent out of respect for him, knowing that the revealing of my true bloodline would cause him great difficulty.  I can only imagine what Nanae is doing to him right now.”

            Kaz smiled grimly.  It would serve the son of a bitch right, he thought to himself.  “Well,” he added, “what could Keru actually do to you?  There’s not much he can, is there?”
            “He could cut me off,” Minoru replied, “but that would not bother me in the least.  I could sleep in Kaldera’s loft; despite what appearances I put up Kaz, I don’t need a lot to live on, or in.  That would do just fine.  I don’t think Keru will do that, though--Nanae and Asuka would never permit that.  Nanae and my mother were dear friends, and she is not a woman that would visit any sort of revenge on the child of such a friend.  The hard thing,” he added, “is trying to go back there, to see Asuka and to tell her how sorry I am.”

            Kaz shrugged.  “I can’t tell you what to say there,” he said, “but she is what I think you might call a ‘lady of character.’  What I mean is,” he continued after another moment’s thought, “she has such internal strength.  Other than that first time, when she seemed a little unnerved by us, I still thought Asuka was very much like you.  She has become more open to things; I began to realize you two were a lot alike, but,” Kaz chuckled, “I never expected this.”

            Minoru nodded and listened.  He could hear voices in a nearby room, Kaz’s parents; what they were talking about he didn’t know.  “The story has taken itself into a new chapter,” Minoru said quietly, “and things have now changed from the way they once were.  Those days are now gone; ‘Quoth the raven, nevermore.’”

            There was a quiet knock on Asuka’s bedroom door.  The room was in darkness, as the falls around the bed were closed.  She sat up; Aimi lay to her left, and by her own movements, she too was awake.

            “Asuka, are you still awake?”  It was Keru, and the voice sounded very different.

            “Just a moment, Father,” she called.  She slid out of bed, and said, “Aimi, you can stay.  I’ll talk to him.  I have to stand on my own.  I’m going to.”

            Aimi nodded as she lay against the pillows.  “Good luck,” she whispered.

            Asuka smiled slightly, then went to the door.  Opening it a crack, she saw her father.  He was still in his business suit, and in the shadows of the darkened hall looked haggard, almost sick.  “May I speak with you?” He asked.

            “Of course, Father,” Asuka replied and slid the door fully open.  Aware that Aimi was in the bedroom, Keru motioned to the two chairs situated around a table by the hall windows.  Asuka nodded and stepped out.  All the lights were off in the hall; the only one came from the moon through the window.

            As they sat, Keru began, “Asuka, I first must sincerely apologize for my behavior.  I am sorry I struck you; that was a terrible wrong.  Also, do not worry about your school or your friends.  Those things do not have to change, and they will not.”

            Asuka nodded, but said nothing.  “I have spoken with your mother about Minoru,” Keru continued, “and now I will tell you.  I promise to hold nothing back, and you may ask me anything you wish.  I will answer as best I can.” 

            Asuka nodded again.  Keru took his daughter back through the same explanation he gave to Nanae; he elaborated on the nature of his relationship with Ebissan, her pregnancy and the situation that followed it.  Keru also described how he became involved with Nanae, and how all things had built up to this point.

            Asuka did not ask any questions; she merely listened and took in all Keru had to say.  When her father finished, she asked, “What becomes of Minoru, Father?  Will he move in here, with us?  Will he stay where he is?”

            “Whichever he chooses,” Keru replied.  “I will leave that decision to him.  How do you feel about him?”

            “I accept Minoru as my brother, whole-heartedly,” she replied, “but Father, there is one thing I must ask of you.”
            Keru nodded.  “Do.”

            “There is only one thing,” Asuka whispered, “one thing that I desire from you.  I don’t forget, nor am I ungrateful for all you have done for me, and for all the advantages you have given me--but there is only one thing I need.”

            “And that is?”

            Asuka took a deep breath.  “My dad.”  She saw Keru give a start, and she added, “I was telling Aimi about this earlier.  I remember my dad as a big, strong, but good-hearted man--the one who always smiled when he came home from work, the one who always picked me up in his arms when I was little, who always held me, and who I never feared.  In recent years,” Asuka went on, as she now stared at the floor, “he has gone away.  Dad turned into the man I call Father.  You wanted that, I thought--you looked for respect from me that I long thought I’d not given you.  So I called you that.  I became afraid of you.”

            Asuka put up a hand in the darkness.  “Don’t think this is a fantasy Father,” she quickly continued, “because I was.  I feared your anger, your disapproval, and your wrath.  I could tell you did not approve of my new friends such as Aimi, but I needed them.  I needed to see how life is lived beyond the walls of this house, beyond the walls of the academy, and beyond the circles we walk in.  They’re no different than we are.”

            She stood up and walked the one step over to Keru’s chair.  “I want my dad,” she said again. 

            Keru stood and took Asuka in his arms, and she clung to him.  “You shall have him,” he whispered.  “If he is not here now, I will find him.  For you, for Minoru, and for your mother--I promise."

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And there you have it!  Let me know what you think!

"Take Another Road," Chapter 12...'The Vision'

Here it is!  Chapter 12 of "Take Another Road..."
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Chapter 12--The Vision

            The ride down to the harbor was a quick one.  As the old Vanagon bumped along the rough surface streets in this section of the city, Kaldera discussed the plan.  “We’ve got supplies stowed on the boat, plus what you’ve brought,” he explained, “and there’s plenty of room to crash indoors.  Before we eat, I promise I’ll explain a bit more of what I have in mind.”

            Kaldera said little else, but Aimi was not concerned.  She sat beside Mei in the seat two rows back.  Asuka was in front of her, Minoru to her right.  Aimi found herself looking on an angle to her right, at him.  She had not been able to get Minoru out of her mind of late, as she’d noted in her recent letter to Kira.  Ever since that second meeting, the one at the shop, I’ve been thinking about Minoru.  He is so attractive and intelligent, and he treats everyone with such respect.  Yet, as I told you before the sadness from his mother’s passing is still there, in his eyes. 

            That must be why he reads so much, Poe in particular.  I never really liked the man’s work--too scary!  I think Minoru must escape into books the way I do; we at least have that in common.  I must admit, while I could very easily be attracted to him, he and Asuka are obviously meant for one another.  I would never come between two of my friends, even if I knew how.  You just don’t do that.

            As the conversation flew back and forth amongst the van’s occupants, Aimi noticed something else.  Kaz was looking over his shoulder, and from her line of sight, she could see Kaz was looking at Asuka.  While he’d said nothing about it, she knew Kaz was interested in the girl, but it could not be anything sexual.  Asuka certainly attracted the eyes of boys (and quite likely, men as well) wherever she went.  Aimi had noticed that in the club the other night.  She always looked beautiful, Aimi thought, so correctly turned out. 

            I almost would call Asuka’s style classy, though I don’t really have anything to compare it against, except perhaps fashion models or idols I see in magazines.  I wish I knew how she did it; but then I don’t think I would like all that attention.  I’ve never liked people staring at me.  Mei loves it, but in a different way; she does it more for a laugh.

            As the Vanagon went over a speed bump, it jolted Aimi’s thoughts into another direction.  That’s it; Asuka obviously gets a lot of it from her mother.  She looks like a slightly older version of her daughter.  When side-by-side, they look like they could be sisters.  The lady was very nice, and I’m glad she and Mom got along well; but I remember Tanaka-san looking at me, too, rather deeply I thought.  I wonder why…

            Kaldera steered down a narrow, one-lane strip of road, and Aimi, Asuka and Mei looked around them.  They were passing through a boatyard; a number of vessels were up on blocks, in various stages of repair.  Then it was down to the waterline; there was a small parking lot with a few vehicles in it, and Kaldera pulled the van into one of these spaces.  “We’re here,” he announced.

            Everyone bailed out and gathered their equipment, before turning to see where they were.  They were beside the long private pier, the Kudo before them. 

            “This is your boat?”  Asuka asked.  “It’s lovely.”

            “It is indeed, thanks,” Kaldera replied as they walked along the pier toward the boathouse.  “We’ll give her a good run tomorrow, but let’s head on up.”

            Climbing a long set of wooden stairs to the second deck, Kaldera unlocked a sliding door and pushed it to the side.  “Shoes to the right,” he joked, “and straight on in.”

            The girls went first, and after removing her shoes, Aimi took a look at Kaldera’s home.  This floor of the house appeared to be one large room, though to her right there were doors, one near the main one, a second in the far corner.  A large, U-shaped couch took up part of the middle of the room, and there were two matching chairs on either side, plus a rectangular glass coffee table. 

            What really caught Aimi’s eyes was the rest of the room:  to her left, there was a long line of full-length glass windows, which offered a fine view of the harbor.  In the corner near these was what looked like a drafter’s table, plus a computer, stereo equipment, a wooden tower rack of compact discs, a large radio of some kind, plus a synthesizer and a small stack of Marshall amplifiers.  Guitars, both electric and acoustic were everywhere:  two hung from the wall over the keyboard, a couple of others were in stands, and another was lying on the couch.  A ceiling fan was turning slowly just under the rafters of the ceiling.  The floors were bare, hard wood, and there were no rugs.

            Kaldera moved past all this into a kitchen area.  This was part of the main room, but there was a counter separating the refrigerator and stove from the rest of it.  “Drop your stuff wherever you like,” he called as he entered this space.  “There’s plenty to eat,” he added, “but that comes later.”

            After availing themselves of tea, soda or other beverages, everyone took seats on the couch and chairs, and Kaldera brought over the swivel office chair from the nearby table.  He began by explaining the trip for Saturday:  “The marine forecast calls for a good day tomorrow; not much for swells, so it should be an easy trip.  I’m sorry,” Kaldera added as he indicated Mei.  “I understand Midori is away, and that you won’t be with us.”

            “That’s cool,” Mei replied, “don’t feel bad about it.  I’m gonna need to look after Mom, probably anyway.  I just appreciate you having me here, this is an interesting place.” 

            Mei paused, and Kaldera in particular seemed to note that Mei had more to say.  “Before you go on,” she asked Kaldera, “if I may?”

            Kaldera smiled.  “You may.”

            Mei turned to Asuka and Minoru, who were seated beside her on the couch.  “I need to apologize to you two,” she said.  She took a deep breath, then continued, “I made a snap judgment the other day when we first met, and that was wrong.  Now that I’ve gotten to know you both, I’ve realized some things in my system have got to go.  You’re both really great, and you’ve been friends to the best friends I’ll ever have.  That says a lot, and I hope you will accept that.”

            Minoru nodded, and Asuka placed her hand on Mei’s shoulder.  “No offense has been taken, Mei,” she replied, “there has never been any.”

            “Yes,” Minoru added, “that’s most decent of you to say.  I think,” he continued, “we both must come off as being a little different, especially to those who have never met us.  But really, Mei, there is nothing to be sorry for.”

            Mei nodded in relief.  “It’s kinda hard for me,” she explained, “I’ve had things happen to me that I guess I still have to get over.  You have all been great in just being around, being my friends.  Midori, too--she’s helped me see things in another light.”

            “You have just let a little of yourself out to the rest of us, Mei,” Kaldera observed.  “That is hard, isn’t it?  In fact, that is part of the reason I have all of you here.”  Seeing he had everyone’s attention, Kaldera continued, “I have most of my life let parts of myself out to others, mostly through my music.  But sitting, and just talking with people, especially about personal matters is very hard for me to do.  I want you to know that in the time since I’ve met Kaz and Minoru, I’ve been able to finally let a little of my guard down.” 

            Kaldera reached for his cigarettes.  “You don’t mind, do you?”

            Everyone smiled or chuckled.  “It’s your place, Kaldera,” Kaz replied.

            “Well, it is good to ask.”  Kaldera lit up, and pulled a metal ashtray over to the edge of the table near him.  “A lot of people,” he said, “have wondered what an American like myself is doing in Japan.  I am on a search; a search for my place in this world.  You see, I had such a place in America, because I was born there.  Music was my way to communicate my thoughts, views and feelings with others, and I guess I did okay at it.  I traveled around the world, performed with some of the greatest musicians ever, and learned a great deal.

            ‘Things,” he added, as he knocked the ash off the end of his smoke, “changed for me over there, after a time.  I’ve been through some experiences that I am still not particularly good at talking about.  But as I went through all of it, my personal quest is still not finished.  That will go on until the end of my life.”

            He rose and went over to the windows.  “Excuse me.”  Kaldera drew the shades, which drew the room into shadows, apart from the ceiling lights.  Returning to his seat, Kaldera went on, “I think there is a reason for all of us coming together as we have.  As I have said, I have this way of bringing diverse folks together.  I see two groups of people here; each group has known one another for as long as can be remembered, and now you’ve all met.”  Reaching over to the end of the couch for the acoustic guitar that lay there, he placed it on his lap.  Would you indulge me?”

            Everyone had been listening, each interested in their own way.  But to all, they were seeing another side of Kaldera.  He looked a little uncomfortable talking about himself, even nervous.  Stubbing out his cigarette, Kaldera said, “Mei has started well by letting us see a little more of herself today, and I would like to share with you something that is dear to me.  If you are uncomfortable with this, please say so, and I’ll never bring it up again.”

            All looked at one another in the shaded room.  Aimi did not see a negative reaction, and she replied, “I don’t see why not, Kaldera.  May I ask you:  does this have anything to do with what we saw the other night?”
            Kaldera grinned.  “Ah, you saw that.  Other people have told me of the energies I put out when I perform.  It is a part of my spiritual self; it’s not something that‘s meant in a bad way, it just happens.  At times, it is useful to discover one’s self.  Part of the reason I go to the island is because of the energy I feel from it.  It is a beautiful place, the flora, the life that is there.  When I first went to the island, it took me by surprise.  But,” he continued as he took up the guitar, “make yourselves comfortable, and I will lead you on a little ’Vision Quest,’ if you will.”

            Everyone did so.  Kaldera took a deep breath and began to pick a slow guitar rhythm.  As his fingers worked the strings, everyone found themselves beginning to drift away.  Not to sleep, but Aimi especially could tell they were going somewhere.

            “We will begin,” Kaldera intoned, “by the chakra at your base, your root…”

            Aimi felt a strange, but calming energy pass through her, down her body as Kaldera led them verbally.  “Through the floor, into the water below us,” Kaldera went on, “into the silt and sand and into the Earth.  You are going down…down…down…”

            Aimi actually felt she was descending; she could feel the cool waters of the bay around her, yet she could still breathe.  She felt the soft sand of the harbor’s bottom…then she kept going deeper.  Aimi was sinking into the sand, into the Earth!  I wonder what everyone else is feeling…

            Kaldera continued to pick out the slow rhythm on his guitar.  “You continue into the Earth,” he said, his voice low and gentle.  “Past the bones of those that have come before us, and down, down further into the Earth.  It is harder going, but you continue down, down further into the Earth.  It is getting warmer…”

            Aimi could feel herself burrowing, yet her body was not moving, down into the Earth.  Yes, it was getting warmer.  Were they going to the center of the Earth?  She’d read the Jules Verne story, but this was not like that at all.

            “It is getting warmer, almost hot, but you continue down.”  A moment later, Kaldera stopped playing.  “You are here,” he said, “you are at the center of this planet.  You feel the warmth and the heat of Mother Earth.  It does not burn you.  Feel the Earth Mother as she holds you in her keeping.  She is here for you.”

            Aimi heard a voice.  “Mother…”Minoru’s voice sounded as if it would break.

            “As you are here,” Kaldera suggested, “is there someone here for you?  Is there someone with the arms of the Earth Mother who is waiting for you?  Do they have something to tell you?”

            There was someone there; Aimi couldn’t see the body, but there was an outline before her closed eyes, and it slowly began to form itself into a human figure.

            “Kira…” The word escaped from Aimi’s lips.

            There was a silence, and Kaldera began to play his guitar again, another slow, fingerpicked rhythm.  “We now leave this place,” he said, “and we now go up…up…up…the way we came.”  Kaldera led through the meditation, this time in reverse direction, but when he reached their bodies, he added, “Move on, past your root chakra, to your sacrum, your heart, your third eye, then above you, and into the sky.  You go up, high toward the sun…”

            The guitar’s meter increased slightly as Kaldera moved up the fretboard, and Aimi could feel the rush as they headed for the sky.  She knew it could not be happening, but she felt like she was flying...what is this now?

            “We are now infused with the powers of above and below.  We are alive, and we are all together.  Stay here now for a moment.”

            Kaldera began to play again, this time the chords sounded structured and what sounded like a poem came forth. 

“What have you seen?

What can you tell me?

Does it make sense?

No…that’s alright…”

            Some of the words were lost to Aimi, and she balled her hands into fists.  Her body began to shake; Aimi knew this feeling, and she didn’t want to experience it.  But she had to, no matter what.

“Don’t look at him, her, or it

Look at you, ‘cause someone said:

‘Don’t look at me, look at you

Don’t look at me, look at you

Don’t look at me, look at you

Don’t look at me, look at you,’

That’s all you need to know

And it’s cool…”

            The song ended, with a long strum of a minor chord, and there was a momentary silence in the room and the universe. 

            “Open your eyes,” Kaldera directed. 

            Aimi did, and allowed them to adjust to the light.  It was darker now, and her friends remained in their same places, all looking around.  The expressions were not of confusion, or anger, or fear.  Aimi detected calmness in each person’s face.  She felt it as well.

            Kaldera on the other hand, looked very different.  Setting his guitar aside, all saw that he was shaking slightly, and had been very affected by what he’d done.  He took a deep breath.  “I thank you for allowing me to share this with you,” he said.  “I have been to a place, as I think each of you have.  I saw something I needed to see.  Now that we are here, I hope you understand what I’m saying:  Someone is always there for you.  It does not have to be a God, Goddess or any deity.  It can be a real person.  I am here for you, my friends.  We are all here for a reason:  for each other.”

            Dinner followed the “Vision Quest,” and Aimi noticed that Kaldera seemed to return to his former self as the evening went on.  Kaldera had ordered out from a local restaurant, and the delivery came just after the quest ended.  As all sat around the table, they discussed what they had experienced.

            “That was really something,” Kaz commented between bites of tempura.  “I really felt like I went down there, then up.  How did you do that, Kaldera?”

            “It’s nothing I did,” Kaldera replied, “you each went in your own way.  A lot of what happens in these meditations is your doing; if you let yourself go, you will find yourself there.  You can also focus your will and your intent to do such things. 

            ‘I should say,” he went on, “that what we did was not exactly a vision quest, from the Native American sense.  I call it that, because we really can, and often do see things that we either already know about, but have just not seen in the light that we see it now.  It is very instructive.”

            “Mom talks a lot about that,” Asuka said, “when she reads tarot, that nothing is predicted.  Usually what comes in a reading is something that is already known, but we just don’t understand it, the way it is presented.”

            “That’s right.”  Kaldera finished his norimaki, and replied, “Your mother is very well versed in that form of divination.  I have had her read for me in the past.  There is nothing sinister in card reading; it is merely another method of ’seeing,’ one of many that have been practiced for centuries.  No answer is necessary; you are often guided by what you see and your own intuition.”

            Aimi mostly listened, and ate with a good appetite; at the same time, she found herself in a strange place.  She felt detached, and when the meal was over, she stepped outside onto the deck.  Minoru was already there; he was learned forward on the rail as he watched the sunset.

            It was really quite a nice one; the redness around the star showed it would be a warm day tomorrow.  She stood beside him, and they watched a flock of gulls pass before the sun, plus a handful of small boats on the horizon. 

            Minoru turned slightly and watched Aimi, her expression and the way she leaned against the rail.  “You seem in a rather pensive mood, Aimi,” he said quietly, though they could not be heard through the closed door.  “Are you all right?”
            She turned.  “Yes, I’m fine,” she replied, “I’m still buzzing a little from the vision quest.  That was very different.”

            Minoru smiled.  “Yes.  I’ve been on them before with Kaldera, and the first time stunned me.  It really is a form of meditation, and sometimes you do come across thoughts, feelings, and the like.  Often,” he added as he turned to look seaward again, “you see things you’re not ready for.”

            Aimi looked out again.  “That is true,” she said softly.  At this, Minoru looked out of the corner of his eyes at Aimi closely in a way she would not pick up on, he hoped.  Aimi saw something or someone in the quest she wasn’t ready for.  I am terribly curious, but it’s obvious she’s not ready to talk about it.

            He slid his arm around her waist.  “I’m sorry if that was a little too much in there,” he said.  “Kaldera doesn’t know his own strength, but he meant no harm.”

            Aimi smiled again and looked up at Minoru.  “I know,” she replied, “but really, I’m fine.  As Kaldera said, someone’s always there, but I’m also very glad you are here.  I really like Asuka, and you of course.  I’m glad we’re in the club together.”

            “I am as well.”  Minoru removed his arm as he heard the door slide back, and Asuka walked out onto the deck, the others behind her.  Taking the space on the other side of Minoru, she said, “It’s a beautiful evening, and I’m having a lot of fun, just being here.  I think we’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”

            “Well, you do,” Mei responded, “I gotta head back.  You be safe out there.”  She gave everyone a hug, and one for Kaldera, saying, “Thank you for having me.”

            “You’re always welcome, Mei,” Kaldera replied, “I’ll see you out.”  As they left, Asuka said, “I was a little surprised by what Mei said earlier in there.  To be truthful, I wasn’t sure she liked us at first, but I never thought it was that strong.”

            Kaz shook his head.  “Mei doesn’t dislike people,” he explained, “she’s just that way until she knows somebody.  She has been rather protective of Aimi, and me, too.”

            Minoru nodded at that.  “She does strike me as a protector,” he said, “how she thinks of her mother, and looks after her, that shows a great deal.  Yes, you’re right, Kaz; she shows great concern, and I would say love for both of you, Midori too.”

            “That is Mei,” Aimi replied as Kaldera returned to the deck.  “After her parents divorced, she found herself in the situation of having to watch over Reiko.  Her health has been poor, but she never complains, neither of them.”

            “It is a heavy burden,” Kaldera posed, “for one as young as she is.  Yet she is very positive, and very disciplined when it comes to her mother, her training, and to you.  Her demeanor and her appearance, it seems to me is a wall she puts up.  Is she afraid to show her true feelings?”

            Aimi and Kaz nodded.  “It is hard for her,” Kaz admitted.  “She only usually opens up to Aimi, myself and now Midori.  Her early years were pretty tough on her,” he added, “we were her only friends.”

            “That’s a critical time,” Kaldera said, “to grow up with so few that you can trust.  I can see why you are all so close, but that’s a good thing.  Your bonds are very strong, and those things can sustain you at your worst times.  That being said, my friends,” Kaldera chucked as the others did, “how about a little music before we turn in?”

            All seemed up for it and turned for the inside, but Aimi remained behind.  She looked out at the sun’s final turn for the day.

            Asuka had gone inside, but looked back through the open door.  She watched Aimi as she stood there for a moment, then walked back onto the deck.  She went up behind Aimi and put her arms around her friend’s upper body.  “I’m here, Aimi,” she whispered in her ear.  “We all are.”

            She felt Aimi’s breath draw slightly, then the girl’s body lean back into hers.  Asuka felt Aimi’s hands slide up her arms. 

            “Thank you,” she whispered back.  Then she added, “Asuka, can you stay here a moment, with me?”

            “Of course.”  Asuka pulled Aimi closer, and the two looked out across the water.
--
(Editor's Note:  "The Path (It's Cool)" was written by me, and contains elements of "God," written and performed by Paul Weller, which appears on the 22 Dreams CD, 2008.)  


So there you have it...I hope you are enjoying the first volume of the "Others Roads Club" series...it likely will go through many, many changes by the time we get down to actually putting this out, but it's interesting to see reactions of early drafts.  Enjoy...