The Service Machines, and "We Are All Whores..."

Greetings, for the first time in a while. The sun has finally shone again for what feels like ages, and from mountains of melting snow and ice I think we're going to see our way out of all this.

https://www.facebook.com/tory.gates/media_set?set=a.10151892746485787.1073741827.552340786&type=3

Want to see pictures and video? Go there...

...so what has been happening? Well, I'm slowly getting back to work. My training with Tango Traffic is complete, and I'm now working weekends and fill-in, generally for northern cities.

www.tangotraffic.com is the site: that's a basic listen of what we do for major cities. The format is not much different than what I did for XM Radio, but the company is delivering this content in localized and specialized ways. I can't really tell you all the details, because I don't know them. Suffice to say, the vision is for something a little bit different. Tapping another market, so to speak.

I like the people I work with...just about every one of us has been in the business for some time...some of us, decades, and I mean decades. I'm back aboard with a couple of my former XM compadres, and everyone seems to know everyone from somewhere. Radio, and broadcasting in general is like a small town.

Now this is out in the Philly suburbs, and it's a drive on Route 30. I have considered moving, but I am not sure I will. See the link above? Why would I leave that?

Yes, getting up and down that hill in winter is dangerous...why I didn't buy a Jeep I don't know, but whatever. The drive is no longer than some I made in the past. From that place to DC? Even longer. It worked out that it became a best option.

This also lets me remain in this area, and I can keep my hand in the business around here. I will still do work for the Radio PA Network, and whatever else I can find and fit in. Needless to say, the Tango money is way better. But I don't just do it for money; this is what I do. We all find ways to stay in this business, and no matter what role we've got, we give it our best.

Besides, this beats working!

Now how about this:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1494401975/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1494401975&linkCode=as2&tag=coverscroll-20

"Parasite Girls" is selling slowly, across the Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords and other platforms, but I do not mind so much. I'm working on getting it out there. I have it in a few indie stores, most of them in the York area. I have also donated copies to the York and Dauphin County Library Systems. I even got one in the Varnum Library, in my old hometown in Vermont!

Suppose I could blanket more, but I have to select my targets. Made a trip yesterday to Lancaster to try and get some action there. Some places just don't do "new" books, and others have to also choose carefully. I did have a nice talk with the manager of the bookstore at Franklin & Marshall College. She might just take it, I gotta hope. 

Never been to the campus, and my short walk across it was interesting. Reminded me of days of walking across St. Joseph's...didn't feel much different.

Now...what is coming next? I hope to do more readings, once I get my schedule straightened out. And this:

https://www.behance.net/torygates

Selected bits of future projects are here...what one will I do next? Hmmm...

Not sure at this point, because I need to give a push to "Parasite Girls," as far as I can this year. But also get ready for the follow-up. 

My wish is to make my next one a first step into the Young Adult world. I will not be kept to one genre, no need to do that. I have to figure out which story fits, which story works, and so forth.

Either way, I'm having fun.

http://www.genedante.com/

At the bottom, click on the "Play" thingie, and listen:

If that song does not blow you the fuck away, I don't know what will. "We Are All Whores" is a great song that is direct in a way so many pop songs today are not.

Gene is an old and dear friend...we did Rocky Horror together in the 90's, and this guy was the one out of all of us that had the talent to take it wherever he wanted to go. His band has done some great music over the years, and I'll explain why I am plugging it.

I may be back in the writing and critiquing business for this part of PA. I was a music critic for years for the old FACE Magazine. Didn't always know what I was doing, because in writing that was an ongoing exercise. 

A certain publication might be taking me on, and I have a new way to serve the public around here, yet again. I hope. 

One thing you need to remember, folks: CRITICS (AND/OR REVIEWERS) ARE JUST PEOPLE WITH AN OPINION. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERY FUCKING THING THEY SAY.

I tended to not often agree with the writers of Rolling Stone or other publications about what they thought of music, bands, etc. We all have our views and we have a right to those views. We just have to remember a couple of things: THE OPINON IS LIKE AN ASSHOLE. WE ALL HAVE ONE.

Now, the other one is very hard for my colleagues in the media to figure out: JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE WRITING THE STORY DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE THE STORY.

I cringe when I listen to or watch people in the media (sports media, in particular) go on about some subject, when you know it's really all about them. Their views, their authoritative blatherings and rantings about what makes this good/bad, etc. And of course, what must we do about this...

Small-town and syndicated columnists are even worse. To get paid, they have to write the most ridiculous, inflammatory and downright hateful garbage. This is how they get attention. 

We don't need that kind of attention. I don't want it.

Look, if I write something nice about someone, or I criticize somebody's work, I'm not trying to kiss up/start a fight. Just opinion. You do not have to believe it.

But look at how we are...talk radio, scream TV, Internet mania, anti-social media...we believe every goddamn thing we hear/read, don't we?

I'm using this potential gig as a means to say to you: we are all here trying to get along, get forward, get going. At least I am...if you want to wallow in your private universe, and regurgitate everything you read/see/hear from what comes out of the radio, the TV, the net...go ahead. Don't expect me to give you the time of fucking day. I don't have time.

I have work to do. This is my role; I write, I create, I offer my services in the best way possible. I am a service machine; I admit it. I do my own original things, but I also can do things that I hope make a difference, even if that difference is just a miniscule blip on your radar screen.

I want it to help. 

I am not interested in being a talking head, where the head does all the talking and no thinking exists. I do not care to be a crotch-grabbing loudmouth pumping up the virtues of the local sports team, at the behest of whomever. 

None of that makes sense to me...I've lived it, seen both ends of it. At this stage of my life, if being a traffic reporter (as I was for several years before) makes a difference to a commuter, then good. I did something good, and right.

With regards to "Parasite Girls," I have received two positive reviews on one of its aspects, mental illness. Both have told me I hit on the issue correctly, and well. That's great news...I drew on the experience of those around me, and my own issues, to try and make it work.

The whole damn thing works, I know it does.

So you see, why I'm like this. I do not expect you to believe anything I say, or write, or whatever. Understand this exercise helps me do what I have to do to survive. I don't blog much, because I don't have time. Not for you, but I just have better things to write, to work on, and I have to be on the go.

The other point, in using Gene's title is this...we do get off on our attention, don't we? We're all human, we all do it. Sometimes, it's good to have a little of that.

I was relieved, and happy to hear a family member and a friend say what needed to be said about "Parasite Girls." 

I did something right. Nice feeling.

See ya.

Parasite Girls, Time the Healer, Sylvia Plath...and the Point of it All...

I am not ashamed to tell you that right now I am in a holding pattern, partly of my own doing. One of the unfortunate results of that is finding myself stuck, and l fear leaving others in the lurch. It's not something I am happy about.

Without ever saying it, my late father by example did his best to keep his word on things. We all learned that, and for that reason I sometimes find it very hard to promise things to others. Because I have no idea in about 50% of the cases whether or not I can actually follow through.

It's easy in some ways--people need me to cover the, I'm there. That's because I need the money, but also because I do actually enjoy the dying industry I live in.

That plus a series of incidents and issues has led me to once again find myself on the edge of a pit that I do not wish to fall into again. It's pretty bad when you don't sleep properly (the worst thing for whatever my brand of depression is!), and then awaken to find it's fucking 12 Noon.

Lovely. So much to do, no time to do it in. And yet that may well also be an illusion I've allowed to manifest.

So, where are we? August 1st, and I wish to know where I am, still. I've had a few friends ask me about my work, and what's going on there. Well, suffice to say I've been cruising through cyberspace for the past 12+ months on the job hunt, and yes, also looking outside the broadcast realms. Couple of interesting interviews did take place, so I am encouraged.

Of course, it means...moving. The days of being able to drive to my job are no longer, and that means for me pulling up stakes. I am aware this is something I will have to do; there is nothing left for me to do in Pennsylvania, and I think a change of scenery is what I need. I need it, badly.

I feel sorry that I have not been able to commit to things, musically. That leaves one person hanging, but thankfully he's using his mad skills with another project, and I hope for their success. Add to that: here in York, I give respect and props to friends who have produced really awesome music. Their talent goes way beyond anything I have to offer in that line. My job as a DJ is to help them get some kind of attention, which is well deserved.

That has been my role. To push, promote, and let others know who's really out there. I guess I tried to push myself into that hole and I think I'm alright, but not what works. Not now.

Let me get to the next one here...w/o internet service at my house, I've had more hours to read, edit and do stuff in a comparative silence. I have to admit, I like that. What it has done is allow me to examine things a little more closely, than I normally would do.

The net is our TV, isn't it? We watch it, read from it, and get all obsessed over what's on it. I'm not going to go on a rant about how awful it is, because that is pointless. Nothing is ever good enough for some people, and nothing will ever fit their pigeonholed respectability whateveritis. Do what you gotta, folks.

Sylvia Plath's unabridged journals are a very slow, heavy read. I'm basically reading her diaries. And again, these have to be taken in a very small bit at a time. Her word use, big words, some kind of education none of us could possibly get today...let those elitist little "exceptional" brats (and especially their voyeuristic parents) have a go at THIS!

What I get out of it, though is that Plath suffered from the same issues a lot of us do. She suffered losses, went through all the turmoil any human being did, but felt it so much more intensely. She was human; you see her struggling in the pages with her family, the need to be wanted by another, but also the need to be who she had to be. Sylvia vacillates on her writing, ignores it, comes up with ideas for stories with impossible names for characters, but you wonder where they all went.

She was ahead of her time, in terms of her feminist views, but these were not fully formed, I don't think. She left behind an awful lot for us to consider, though, about ourselves.

So where does that leave me? Well...as I've shamelessly plugged you can find me on Behance.net, and the rough opening of "Parasite Girls" is there. That will come out later this summer, and I do hope very much to see some cover ideas from my artist friend.

I'm already trying to consider the follow-up. I don't know if I should do this, but with down time and "stasis," the word Sylvia uses a lot, I have to do something.

I look back at a lot of my writings from years past--all just waiting to break out, and I realize my style changed. What I have is still good, but not good enough. Nowhere near. I must go back to that. I must bash at it yet again.

So in the meantime, what have I got?

I think "Time the Healer" might be the followup. The rough opening is also on the Behance site. It's longer, but in ebook form it'll not be so bad. I think I can have it ready for 2014. My goal is now to publish one every six months, while still trying to find some method of getting into a real book form.

The cost is not going to be prohibitive, and hardly do I expect my friends to buy everything I write, of course not. But it's got to get out there, and the window is closing.

"Time" also is rather timely...it deals a lot with bullying, and the violence that surrounds it...also what happens when people stick their heads in the sand and pretend it doesn't happen. Not all of this is personal, but enough is and what I have done with it makes it compelling enough for others to wake the fuck up.

The main character is remaking herself (aren't we always doing that?)...without ever seeing the video until today, I now realize what is fitting about this:

"Point of it All" is from the solo album, "Who Killed Amanda Palmer?" I was listening to this recording and others of hers as I put the story together. 

This is where we are. 

I woke up late, and with a mind to go do something I should be doing today, and the feeling of no drive, no energy and no will is horrid to me. Being lazy is not something I enjoy--it comes from years of being told not to be lazy, to be active, to work, and work, and work the fuck some more.

I do not know what it is like to be lazy, even when forced to it. Yet, some must think I am, because they see me sitting in the "Office," banging away on my laptop or staring at it.

My surgery of one month ago does have a hand in this, but I am improving, so you'd think I would feel better about it. I do, but I am finding this world around me a crushing one, that I have to fight off, as I do ongoing depression.

That video above? I've heard and played that song fuck knows how many times. I love it; it's well-written, the piano and the way it was recorded (not sure how from listening to it) and what little instrumentation around that just fits. The video did not depress me, but you feel something, don't you? 

Ain't that some shit?

Resignation as well...what I hope everything to be will NEVER be. I am starting to realize that what I hoped for is not something I think I want, anyway. Because what I wanted will transform out of my hands and into something that it's not. Or...is it because I wish to control it, that I won't let it grow?

Oh. Now that is tough one, isn't it? Perhaps I should let it go, as I have had to go many things, my land up home, my last connections to certain places, and to again look down the open road and see what's there.

And yet I must wait. Wait for things to change, on their own time, but wonder also if I have time, enough for it. Perhaps it is to take these matters more securely in my own hands and say, "Fuck it! I will go NOW!"

Not instant gratification, mind; more just a matter of putting things into action and saying, "Alright, now it's moving--let's see where it goes."

Depression. It is not fun. I do not, as another has said, wish this on even the person who hates me most, if anyone actually does. 

For those who are starting to wonder, believe me I am not considering any kind of drastic measures. I have no interest in creating that kind of mess, because I have learned that to stay is to keep fighting all of it, and to eventually win, because you are still here and you didn't ring the curtain down prematurely.

An old friend very bluntly stated that she didn't think much of those who offed themselves, because they gave up. Well...there are some who would take that way out rather than face the reality of what was before them, true.

Not everyone though--for some cultures, there's still the matter of honor and pride. I understand it, but I don't. We can't fully understand a place we've never been, and never grown up and lived in, can we? But we think we do.

It's noted in "Parasite Girls," that suicide is at times a dark place where if you fall into it...(I'm leaving it blank, you decide for now)...

So what is "the Point of it All?" I don't know. I have a bad habit of using other people's lyrics and songs for inspiration because I don't feel most of what I have written in that line really works. They just don't fit, and I don't find my own lyrics and songs to be that inspirational. They do work in certain ways, but not always.

Just one more step of development I guess.

I'll try a little harder today, to get moving. Sorry if this is a rambling mass of whatever...but this is what you get. You get one draft in my blog, that's all!

"I write reams of this shit every day, haha!" -- John Cale loops that in one of his songs, I love it.

Peace, Out.

"If this were the last night of the world..."...and How to Find a Literary Agent!

Well, I am going to to all out here in these final hours before "The End of the World as We Know It," yeah, right and I'm going to give you a long-winded and Pepsi Throwback/Goya Decaf induced frenzy that has become the past several days.

As per the usual, my iTunes will chime in with its offerings...just finished the lovely first movement of Joe Jackson's "Symphony."  Right straight into Nick Moss & the Flip Top's "You Got to Lose."  

So first of all, the initial part of my title for this blog is taken from Bruce Cockburn's wonderful "Last Night of the World."  I suggest you find it and give it a listen.  It's really a beautiful song.

Tomorrow night is the Winter Solstice; Yule for those in my dual tradition.  For many more it is the end of the world, or rather they'll wake up in the morning and go, "Hey, wha'happened?" or whatever it is they'll do.

I could go on forever about these loons, but I won't.  They are not worth my time.

Anyway...December 21st for me shall be spent with good friends, many of whom I've not seen in too long.  So if indeed it is the last night of the world Friday night, I shall be amongst friends.

So what has been going on of late...well, I have been furiously working to finish a long-overdue edit of Volume 3 of the "Sweet Dreams Series," subtitled, "Tougher than the Rest."  The first two of the series are now as ready as they will ever be; the third, I don't know yet.  I need to read over the mad pace I set for myself this week.

Writing is never really finished; I have been advised by friends to not refine anymore, but you know, it's something that is different for each individual.  I am one who feels these stories are my children, and while I can't say how they're going to do in the world, I have to give them my best so they can be their best.

"Little Wing," from Axis: Bold as Love.  Jimi figures in a tiny little way in Book 3, or SDS-3 as I call it.  Kinda nice.

This leads to a question from a new friend.  I have joined this writer's community, through my new Google+ account:

https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/107534692606148129223

This is on the science of writing, and I think I'll meet some interesting folks who are as passionate about this business as I am.

Anyway, one of the fellows here asked me about my literary agent, and how I acquired her.

"Innocent Moon," Will Ackerman.  From Hendrix to gorgeous new age guitar...hmmm...love iTunes...for shuffle, anyway.

So you know, I am repped by Jeanie Loiacono of the Sullivan-Maxx agency, and have been for the past three years.  Jeanie has been kicking open doors, but no hits as of yet.  Bites, yes...but this is more about acquiring that agent, that person who can open those doors for you.

I am no expert, but I will tell you how I did it.  It was by working it like a job, and having a bit of luck.

How you find an agent is exactly how you find a job, in my experience:  you have to be ready to sell yourself, via the resume, or in the agent's case, a manuscript.

Whatever you have...make sure it's ready NOW.  Make 100% sure that what you have to offer is ready RIGHT FUCKING NOW.  You can go back and edit later, but you need to have it NOW.

"It's Time to Play," Alvin Lee...from a very good CD, "Saguitar."

There are conventional ways to find an agent, and there are books to help:

1.  Writer's Market.  This is one of the holy books of the trade, but there are others.  WM has one specially for literary agents.  So that's 2.

3.  Dustbooks publises a guide to Independent Publishers and Small Presses.  Just as it says.

1 & 3 are necessary!  2 if you want to go in-depth.

Figure out your genre(s), target audience, etc.  Then go hunting.

Read these books...mark them up, dog-ear the pages, highlight them, and keep a list (Word file or whatever) of everything about the presses and agents that are worth going after.  Everything...names, addresses, numbers, faxes, websites, web addresses...all of it.  You will need this, and it stays in your mind.

Do NOT waste the time of publishers (and YOUR TIME) by submitting to those that don't want your stuff.  If they say, "No this" or "No that," they mean it.

You will find plenty of places to send to.

"Into Brooklyn," by Innocence Mission...different.

Okay...next!  We go into Cyberspace.  

Check for websites, but...I will tell you right now:  keep a sharp eye out for sleazy, fly by night publishers and agents who want your money.

DO NOT GIVE ANYONE ANY MONEY, FOR ANYTHING, EVER.  NO reputable agency takes a reader's fee.  NOT ONE OF THEM.  YOU are NOT responsible for their costs.  THEY ARE TO GET PAID ONLY WHEN YOU GET PAID.

"I Kill Children," Dead Kennedys.  Love these segues.

There are several websites out there, in which forums are available to check out publishers and agents that might not list in WM or Dustbooks.  They all don't.  

AbsoluteWrite.com is a site I strongly suggest you join.  Look around, make contacts, and you will learn quite a bit.  I surely did.

"Sunday Papers," live version by Joe Jackson...with all that's in iTunes, they do repeat artists.

Okay...you often hear about "Vanity Presses."  These are companies that charge you money to print your books.  Createspace is one, Xlibris is another.  Avoid them.

If you want to self-publish, be prepared to know that you will be in charge of everything, from the editing (unless you hire an independent one) to your own marketing and promotion.  I have friends who have self-published in various ways, and they can tell you...don't quit your day job.

I don't have the money to invest thousands of dollars into this, only to get a cover that was not what I wanted, pages that fall out, typeface that is unreadable, and nothing anyone would buy just on the aesthetic displeasure you get.  Also, I've seen too many people sitting alone in bookstores with their horribly produced books stacked there, and smiling, hoping someone comes and buys their books.

There's so much more you need.  If you can get the help, then accept it.

Next up...the Internet is a great place to find reputable, decent and professional literary agents.  You can check them out through numerous ways, thanks to the 'net, so these can be vetted pretty fast.

Here's another...Twitter.

I have found not only a ton of bookstores, but publishers this way!  The big and the small, they all Tweet.

"Little by Little," by James House.  Great song; I generally despise nearly all the country music produced since 1991, but this one from '94 was alright.

Now...do you know who you are going to send to?  Have you got your target list, one you will add to as time goes by?  What do they want?  A query letter?  The first chapter?  Do they want email, or snail mail?  

Do it the way they want it!  Or you get nowhere; or at least a fast trip to the slush pile.

The Query Letter is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to write, up there with a cover letter for a job.  Yes, this is a job, and I shall remind you now of this.  This really is a job, or your job.

No more than one page; clear, concise, no flowery bullshit.  That's all.  They'll want to know the word length (75-thousand is average for a novel), but few more or less is not a terrible deal.  

Get to the heart of it in just a few words (clearly, less than mine here!).

Keep track of every letter or email you send; date your master list, keep your receipts, all of it.

"Strange Brew," BBC session by Cream.  Nice...

Budget out your time; if you are still writing, good!  Time for writing, time for finding, time for sending, time for updating the lists.

Do what works for you, but keep in mind you're looking for a job here.  

So how long did this take?  I literally spent four months, nearly every day doing these very things I told you about.  I got lucky; damned lucky.

A small agency in Georgia, Sullivan-Maxx took me on.  My agent loves the "Sweet Dreams Series," she gets it.  Sometimes all you need is one believer, beyond your circle of friends.  

Do not quit, and do not get discouraged.  Can't stress it enough; this is a lot of work, it don't happen overnight.  If you wish to go the traditional route this hard work really will be worth it.  You will get somewhere.

Meanwhile, keep writing; keep refining, keep thinking about what you have dreamed of and get it ready.  It will happen...it's not a question of "IF," it is a question of "WHEN."

"I Feel So Good," Willie "Big Eyes" Smith and Pinetop Perkins...legends doing great music...

Now, I do not mean to denigrate anyone who chooses the self-publishing way, such as through Amazon.com or however you do it.  Make sure it is what you want; I honestly do not have the tools within me to do every single thing.  I do not know a lot of that, but I also know I have to keep learning as the time goes on.

Do what you feel is right, for you.  I wish you well on the journey...and for those who do, a Joyous Yule.

Peace.

Radio-Airwaves.co.uk

Hey all!  A quick reminder of what I've got myself into!

www.radio-airwaves.co.uk is the home of different and diverse Internet Radio!

We are a free service to you; please click on "Listen Now!" when you get there and check us out!

I'm known as DJ`Riff, and am usually on Mondays.

We love music and to us, this is great fun; please join us, we hope you enjoy it!