Sweet Dreams Series, Updates, and Inconvenient Realities

Hello, it's been awhile...in fact, quite a while. 

I've as usual been meaning to blog for a long time, but finding the time, making the time and all of that has gone by the way. Finally, after a long period of work, writing, editing and madness I have for once decided to make the fucking time.

There is much to anticipate this summer, and so many things have occurred that I have to figure out just how I'm going to do them all. In line with that come the happenings in our world, close to home and otherwise.

I made a joke recently with my old friend Jim on his birthday about not getting old, to which he replied something about his back. It's true, our bodies are turning into old cars: they're gonna break down, make sounds they're not supposed to, and leak things they shouldn't, but they do.

I have had some nagging issues, but they are really nothing to complain about. When I consider how much pain I really felt almost 25 years ago from an accident that should have killed me, this is nothing.

I'm so trying not to complain about things. I find that little things get me nettled, but that's always been the thing. I try to let that pass, and realize you can't change an awful lot of stuff outside you. You can change yourself if you want.

I again find I have to rethink things. The last thing I want to do is chase money, but you need just enough to get things done. Well, whether it rolls in while I'm alive or helps out the later generations, we'll see.

It's an ego thing...but I would like to see how the world reacts to some of what I'm doing.

So what is going on right now? Well, the good news is that a project that I started writing, and have dealt with on and off for 11 years is coming out this summer.

The Sweet Dreams Series is this crazy story of threads that came together and formed a Gordian knot, or perhaps some kind of non-tie able one. 

https://www.behance.net/gallery/11158157/Sweet-Dreams-Searching-for-Roy-Buchanan-(Ch1-proof)

What you think? Now true, this is not the finished product, just a rough cut. But does that get you interested? I hope so...

When I started writing that story in 2007, I did not know what I'd started, but I can imagine really well. The literary, manga and anime world did not break down the doors, and it won't until this gets out there. There's nothing wrong with considering the possibilities; in fact, I feel you have to, so you don't get blindsided.

So that is gonna be my fourth book, and the third on Brown Posey Press. People have asked how long that is going to run. Well, I wrote five, plus a compendium of sorts. But the arc is going to have to change a lot, and there's going to be an insane amount of work for the next one to make sense due to all the changes in the first.

I think we have a fine trilogy here. And when that's done, I'm going to let Aki and the gang grow up a little more.

Now, that leads me to my resumption of a radio role as...a talk show host.

Fuck me. The last thing I ever wanted to do is be that again. 

The toxic, filth-laden wasteland of talk radio, and I mean political as well as sports talk is, quite plainly, shit. Generations have been programmed to let their heads be filled with everything they don't really need. The shopping mall of the radio dial has become one gigantic gape shot that you don't want any part of.

There's little left that I can stomach. But...I was pleasantly surprised to get an opportunity to actually do something that really does appeal to me.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bookspeak

Sunbury Press Books, which is our parent company created the BookSpeak Network, and I host the Brown Posey Press show, primarily for fiction.

Pretty cool; while generally I interview fellow authors on the imprint, I can go off the reservation. I've only done four shows so far, and I'm reading a lot more and prepping to do a full show without commercials.

Now we use phone hookups, so it's kind of a strange, almost analog sound. A friend listened to one of the shows and said it was like someone discovering a forgotten radio, and turning it back on. She found it a very comforting thing. How neat.

So I've interviewed some fine people and authors, and there will be more. I'm really enjoying this. This is the kind of show I can do. Authors talking about their books, about writing, what they read, how they've experienced things...it's actually really thought provoking.

I also have found a paying job...imagine that!

I'm working as a mentor for a gentleman who is in broadcasting school. He is a little older than me, and originally from Kenya. His goal is to return to his homeland and work as a talk show host. The power of radio over there is still king. 

He's got most of the tools, but he just needs some technical help, and practice. I've never done this before; I feel I can really help him. This is a nice give-back to an industry that needs people, still.

Now, we gotta hit the realities...our bodies are growing old, but our minds need not. These things I do keep my brain stretched, so I can write again and more, and further along.

I got a great opportunity last weekend to see an old friend. Kelly is a person I met 30 years ago in Northern NH. I was just explaining this experience to a friend, so I'll leave it this way: we were friends, lovers, and a lot of things for four years when it all blew up.

Fault is not one-sided, but we've long since forgiven one another for our doings. She did what I did, jobbed about the radio world, worked like hell, and has found a lot more.

We hadn't seen each other in 26 years, and I'm amazed and impressed by her. We both had things to work through, and we each had to do them. I'm still working on mine, but that's a lifelong deal.

That's the good one.

The passing of Anthony Bourdain is something I have to touch on. There was a recent suicide of a lady that shocked a lot of people, a designer that I am sorry to say I know little about.

I didn't know much about Bourdain; I'd only seen his TV show once, and there's a lot of love/hate flying about the man. He was loud, outspoken, and ruffled feathers. My kinda guy. 

He did a lot of good, though; he took us places, and tried food everywhere. Travel, he counseled us, travel; I need to follow that example.

His suicide shocked everyone. What could have happened? No one can say, but there's been a real re-ignition of the talk about suicide.

As someone who planned his own 30+ years ago, I can tell you a few things, but each person's reasons are different.

I wrote about this in Parasite Girls, my first book; and it looms in A Moment in the Sun, my second. Didn't plan that, but these things come about.

In the first, a character notes that a person is in the dark, so far, that they no longer realize what they are completely doing. The damage, the hurt, the agony, and whatever else influences otherwise rational people to do the irrational.

They may even think they're doing you a favor, by offing themselves. They may think life is no longer worth living; or that they cannot contribute, fit in, or do anything useful any longer, if ever.

The skin they live in must be something they cannot tolerate any longer. Everyone has a reason; the cases are different.

There are no true warning signs, but some say when a person no longer takes joy in the things they should, gives away valued possessions, withdraws, etc., those may be signs.

Hard to say. I never told anyone what was going on inside me, and most had no idea. But I'd also isolated myself enough, that the rare occasion anyone saw something strange, they either didn't get it, or passed it off as something other.

I can't really tell you anything specifics, because each of us are so different. Just this...if someone really reaches out to you, shut up, and listen. And listen critically. It's not about you. It's about them. Let it be them for just a little bit.

That said, I have to note the passing of a dear friend. Dick Huntington left us a couple weeks back. Dick was a lot of things, I can't even begin to document them. 

An author, a poet, a storyteller, a bard (he liked to call himsef), a teacher, so many things. He was in my old band Ahltyrra briefly, and he contributed in a lot of ways to my writing.

He edited and helped me greatly with my skills, way back when Sweet Dreams first went out to the world. He fell in love with the characters, and loved what I was doing with the time travel, the music, the people. Dick also tightened up my horrible writing style, and my awful changes of tense.

Dick served in Vietnam, but never talked about it. Rather, he talked about his time in California, the music scene, his years of living in different places, booking for the Baltimore Blues Society, meeting such incredible musicians. Great moments of his life.

As his health declined, Dick didn't quit. He helped right up to the end, and I feel that he should be seen for all the good he did, and yeah, he did a lot. I'm not going to toss off the difficult side of him, and that yes, he did piss some folks off.

But I ain't perfect, either, and don't I know it.

I'm sorry Dick did not live in his body to see the book make its way out, but wherever he is, I'm sure he'll see it, and have a lot to say about it!

RIP, brother, love you as you did me.

Well...time to move on here. Thanks for reading.

Our Professional Disaster, and Other Opinions

Okay...get ready for another one:

By now, we have heard and seen the sadness of yet another tragedy in this world. The sinking of the "Sewol," a South Korean ferry that has left nearly 300 people still missing. Even sadder, nearly all the passengers on this particular voyage were high schoolers headed for a field trip to an island.

Ferry disasters are not uncommon in this part of the world. It is too soon to tell exactly what happened: it appears that the vessel struck a reef or something, listed sharply to port and sank very fast. Boats like those are not built with the watertight integrity of modern ocean liners; belowdecks is cargo area and space for vehicles.

You can imagine the damage the boat took, and how quickly things changed.

From what we also know (from the sad and eerie messages texted from some who didn't get out), the passengers were told to stay put. An order to abandon ship did not come for 35 minutes, and survivors say they never heard it.

Staying put at first is standard procedure. You don't want to start a panic and a stampede, I get that. Efforts to correct the list failed; only then, did the order get made to abandon.

That seems to be about the size of it all. Now, why am I going on about it?

The media coverage, which I have tried to avoid apart from the sources that I felt more trustworthy. While I do not understand the language, I watched the Korean Broadcasting Network's coverage online. They did special coverage, and as I note below, they ran it in an interesting way.

They run like a PBS station, or Japan's NHK. A very professional, low-key and proper presentation. NPR would be the same way, as would the BBC. Yes, I am biased, I am part-time employed by an NPR affiliate, but I know how they work.

I know how the other side works, too. 

I made a point of keeping an eye on how the Beeb, NHK, and the Asian networks handled the matter. They have done it for the most part with confidence in themselves, calmness, and yes...PROFESSIONALISM.

Something lost on far too many of my colleagues.

Now, I was prompted to write this and include comments I made on this site:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/south-korea-ferry-prosecutors-seek-arrest-warrant-for-captain-1.2614660

Commenters are furious over the CBC's usage of footage, photos, etc. They are getting in a lather over it. Well, they have got some justification, I see it.

They don't watch much American TV, I don't bet. Look at what we have, and what our broadcast media has mostly degenerated into.

I do not mean to sound like an old guy, nor do I wish to slag my colleagues, but I'm not impressed with even the veteran behaviors exhibited by people you'd think had more of an idea of how to act before a camera.

I'm putting the finger on the TV side, which I don't have much experience in, but have enough to know.

Here's what I wrote (whether or not they'll permit its use, I don't know):

"Look, I fully understand the complaints you have, regarding the use of the grief of the families who are still wondering if their loved ones are alive. I would feel as devastated as they. If you think the CBC is bad (not to defend them), I suggest you watch American cable networks if you can stomach it. 

I work in this media. I agree, we all too often use the suffering of others for our own egos, gain, ratings, etc. That's why I don't work in television. In a 24/7 news cycle you are going to see the same stories and the same footage, over and over again. The days of the six o'clock news with the National or what have you at seven, with a ten o'clock update are long gone. That's why you see the recycling. There just is not enough content to fill it all. 
 
Now...I have watched the Korean Broadcasting Network's coverage. They were going with special coverage during the unfolding events, but they get high marks for professionalism, and keeping their emotions in check. They did damned well. Same for NHK and the BBC; they did not go "wall to wall" with coverage. In comparison, CNN's obsession with the Malaysian airline disaster shows how bad we can get. 
 
I've spent 30 years in this business folks...I don't like the way it's gone anymore than you. I cringe every time I see a cable news host lose their s--t and do what their bosses tell them to, and whore themselves with emotional ranting, and blame-tossing. And yes, they will do anything they can to stir emotions and keep people watching. 
 
The last two generations of "media people" (my term) are largely a bunch of smart-assed little brats who have grown up on talk radio, fake reality TV and Fox News. They think this is news. Most of these kids wouldn't last 15 minutes in a proper newsroom. Today, I can name colleagues whom I like as people, and who have the tools but don't get the application. We call them, "Book Smart, Street Stupid." 

This is how it is. If you do not like it, let them know, and not just on a comment board where no one is paying attention. It would also do to stop watching that s--t. I grew up near the Canadian border, and I always admired the way the news was presented. To some extent, I still hear it being done well. 
 
Forgive my going off, because I hope you understand why things are done the way they are. Honestly, if I were in charge, I might well use some of the same footage you are complaining about, because it does help tell the story. All the time? No, probably not. 
 
That all said, I remain saddened by the stories of those people who are lost and their families. We can't imagine their grief unless we've lived through it. Don't think we in the business like these stories: we don't! We would love nothing better than to just tell you about mundane, and yes, even boring happenings. 
 
Like your countrywoman sang, "A little good news," yes, we'd rather do that."

Well, there you have it: our own addiction to knowing everything right this minute, and the pressure we face to get it out there, right here, right now and without delay.

We don't have the resources, folks. We don't have the money, we don't make the revenue to do it the way you think it should be done. Absent of that, I know people in newsrooms who work their asses off day in and day out to do it "right." Even if they don't get it first, and it's not breaking news anymore.

Too many in this business do it in a way that is wrong: "GET THE STORY FIRST, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. WHO CARES IF IT'S INACCURATE? THE PUBLIC HAVE SHORT-TERM MEMORIES, THEY'LL FORGET."

No, actually they won't. And they don't. They don't forget when we fuck up. Whether or not they actually turn away, well, that's another matter for debate.

Guess the thing I'm getting at is: do you think we have too much of it? It's up to us to decide to turn it off, and come to it when we need or want it.

As it stands today, I am on the edge of this business. I am outside looking in, for the most part. What I do makes a difference in small ways, and I am thankful that what I do provides a service. A real one: if you want it, it's there. If not, that's cool, because you may not need it.

Addiction. Yes, we are addicted to some pretty crazy things. News (mostly which confirms our own ideas), so-called Entertainment, brain-numbing shows, and obsessively watching every move so-called celebrities make. Though for the latter, most of them really don't do anything I would consider to be that spectacular.

In the end of this...it may seem a rather unusual step away from the topic, but here it is. We lost one of the great authors of our past century. Gabriel Garcia Marquez left us at the age of 87. The key adjective to describe his work is "imaginative." He mixed real life (much of it around his native Colombia) with fantasy. Imagination...not something you need to live by, but something to make you think and give you a little of what we all need. Not too much, but enough.

We all need to think about it, really think about what is important. I am trying to shed light on this for you. While I also try to figure out how much I need...and don't want.

Thoughts for the day, and hopefully for a bit longer while I sort out my own issues. My own writings are not meant to shake foundations and destroy worlds; they have their own place, and I hope to live long enough to see the day that stories like "Parasite Girls" get their day. I'd like to know what readers think, and hear it in their words. That would be a bigger payoff than money.

Okay...let's hope for a little better in the coming days.

Peace, Outta Here...

It Was 30 Years Ago Today...

...well, not exactly 30...tomorrow (4/1) will somewhat, approximately, kinda-sorta my anniversary.

My 30th Anniversary in Broadcasting. Excuse me...

...30 Fucking Years.

I don't even feel that old anymore. I started thinking about this earlier today and realized that if I don't write this now, I'm not going to do it tomorrow on the day of this momentous (hah!) occasion.

So...let's see...where do I start? I've had people ask me a lot of questions about my chosen profession over the years, including the inevitable ones of, "How do you get started?", "Why do you work a job that doesn't pay anything?", "Why aren't you like Howard Stern?", "Why don't you want to host a talk show?", and fuck knows how many others.

I've had all of those...the one about the money was occasionally alluded to by my family. But more on that later.

I admit to having an interest and fascination with radio as a kid, but I also have to tell you I really didn't see myself as ever having an opportunity to do anything like that. Not that I didn't dream about it.

Growing up in near the Canadian border, I got the best of both worlds, both US and Canadian radio, and that included music as well as news and other stuff. I remember certain personalities, people, music, etc.

A lot of strange stuff returns to my brain right now...today, these things would never be done on commercial radio, and probably rarely on what is now called "Community Radio." Those low power FM's and the like that try to go as mini-NPR stations, doing their own thing, and relying on the kindliness of the public.

Anyway...the whole thing for me started here:

Michelle Hartley painted this mural in the basement of Saint Joseph's College (of Maine) back in the 80's. I went to St. Joe's in '83, with no idea of what I would do for a career. I had horrific grades in high school; I was at best a bored and uninterested student in just about everything. Lots of reasons for that, but that's how it is.

When I learned that we were getting ready to go on-air with an FM station whose signal in those days reached into Portland, I thought: "Oh...this might be interesting."

We did not get on air until the afternoon on 4/1/84. I pulled a one-hour shift late in the first day. 

My first song as a DJ? I honestly don't remember.

Well, fast forward to a month and a few days later back in Vermont. One day after going home for the break, I walked into the old WDOT-AM in Burlington, and by virtue of the world's shortest job interview, I had one.

OK...so I didn't look back. Much.

It has been one long and strange trip in so many ways. And the shit ain't over yet. I have passed through more stations (existing and not), more formats and more co-workers/colleagues than I can number or even remember. I've worked in the weirdest set-ups, the flashiest studios, and have dealt with the best...and not necessarily the worst characters, but some scary ones to be sure.

When I wasn't being weird one.

We constantly remake ourselves. Sometimes it works, but often it just does not. I have spent the majority if not all of my career not being known. And to be honest, I prefer it.

I am a worker. I am a "Service Machine." This is not a bad thing, you know. There came a time in my career when my ego had to get smacked down, and fucking hard. It happened two or three times, very early in my career. I won't name names, or situations, but the deal was this: 

"Kid, you're good, but you ain't that good. You got a long way to go."

And...I'll add this: "You must never stop learning."

What I mean by that is you must never stop learning what you are capable of doing. When you get to turn your hands to something you never thought you could do, you become surprised and even stunned to find out...that yes, you can do it. And do it well.

Yeah, I've had a few points in my life where I wondered why I got passed over for things. When I was younger, I irrationally and immaturely believed I was getting the shaft. 

Then...about ten years into my career a guy who came up behind me said the same damn things and an awful lot more. I suddenly realized he reminded me of me. Guess we all go through it.

The business has changed. We can go on and on about how bad things have gotten, how the jobs have dried up, how the revenue is gone, and how we are no longer valued.

I call bullshit.

You know, I have not had a full-time radio gig in five years. I'm still jobbing, getting hours when and where I can. 'Cause this is what I do.

I love the business, and the experience. Right now, I am part of a company that is headed into a new market and frontier...radio? Broadcasting? More the latter, but it's all part of the same damn thing.

It may also seem strange to you that I spend two hours on a Thursday evening, hosting a show on a small internet station. 

www.radio-airwaves.co.uk

I do it to keep myself sane at times. I can be like I was in college and play music I like, music that I think has value and play it for others. If you like it, great, if not, that's okay.

People ask me all the time if I like what I do. My response is always the same:

"BEATS WORKING!"

If I had to do it over, I'd do it again. I'd hope with benefit of hindsight I might not make some of those mistakes again, but you have to learn somehow.

Thing is: a lot of us do not learn. There are people in this biz who are one-trick ponies. They do one thing, and it may be good, but it doesn't always stand the test of time. You need to remake, like I said; adopt, adapt, improve. If you don't, you will be on the sidelines wondering why.

I've been a DJ for nearly every format. I've hosted shows, co-hosted shows, produced shows, been a journalist, a traffic reporter, a this, a that, a manager...we all do these things. We don't always have the titles before our names, but we do them.

I think at this point, my career went about the way it was meant to go. This is not just about money, but that's nice when you can get it. I've had other jobs, but this is not a job. This is what I DO.

I also write, I play music, I do the things I enjoy doing. Yeah...I could have gotten a desk job, or some kind of management job, or whatever...I could have made more money, been more stable financially, but I would not have been happy.

Rich People have Rich People Problems. If I was, I'd deal. I didn't do too badly, though. And I'm done.

I like where this thing is going, and it opened doors to everything else. It was not always smile-inducing, these past years, and it was not always fun. But it was different.

That makes it good.

You think this many years is something? One of my colleagues at the new job has been in this business, non-stop, 51 years.

That's right. Guy's a legend...and he's now a traffic reporter. 

He still loves it.

So do I.

Do what you love, life is too fucking short to be bored or killing yourself. Friend of mine once had that great job, but he said the stress got so bad, he was pounding a six-pack of Heineken every fucking night to get through it.

Not worth it.

For me, this is.

I have broadcasting to do, even in the shadows. I make a difference in a small way, but a good one.

I do everything else because I think it makes a fucking difference. Forgive my self-centered thought...even if it is just for me, in that moment.

Been fun...and I have more waiting for me.

Peace, Out.

"A Moment in the Sun," and Where Do We Go from Here?

Greetings, one and all...I have returned to the blogosphere after hopefully catching my breath, and figuring out just where the hell I have been the past weeks.

I have never been much for diaries, though I do still have a leather-bound journal full of multi-colored scratchings from about ten years ago. Why I keep it, I have no idea. The things you find when you are digging around in the hoard/closet.

I don't know if this is counts as spring cleaning, but I decided to drag a pair of bookshelves from my closet into my bedroom. And no, I didn't remove the books. That's just how I am.

So anyway, I then spent the better part of the past two late nights re-sorting my books, as sort of a literary "High Fidelity" scene. I don't have enough space in the room to put all my books there. So I have to figure out what I don't need/want at hand, and put those back in the closet. Weird, I know.

Interesting to see a lot of these again...I do realize though, a bunch of these are headed for one of those big metal dumpster/dropoff things. I have to do it, not much choice in the matter.

So yeah...the past few weeks have found me busy here:

http://www.geotraffic.com/

This is my new company...I am back to being a traffic reporter, and we're on a new platform with a different target. This has a future, I feel and we're taking the small steps forward to get us where we need to go. I'm back in broadcasting of a sort, what can I say?

To use a MASH reference: this is "meatball surgery." There is no finesse in this art, it is grunt work, but it is work that requires some smarts, common sense, and an ability to think on your ass...because we're sitting.

I am also back to driving long distances. I've done this before...back in the starving, struggling days of the early 90's, I drove a Dodge Lancer to its death (at least three times) when going from Watertown to Hyannis to do a $5 an hour job, because...I wanted to be broadcaster.

The dream job of 2004-09, XM saw me drive from York, PA to Washington, DC and back, five days a week or more, for all that time. Now I'm driving a similar time frame but a few less miles.

Why?

I like where I live...I know, I swore up and down I was going to get the fuck out of York and never return. Then I realized where the new job was. I didn't like that area the first time I worked there...I still don't like it.

This is better, and so it is.

Now...about this:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1494401975/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1494401975&linkCode=as2&tag=coverscroll-20

I know, I have to shamelessly plug. I am writing this just after making a sale to a friend of mine of "Parasite Girls." Sales are slloooooowwww...how it is. Also, had a long Facebook chat with a dear friend who told me what was "wrong" culturally with the book. And of course, she was right.

I do not think any of these things are terrible errors, but I understand them. I did my best to get it right...it's kind of like this: when I edited and edited, and did everything I thought I could possibly do to get it right, I finally had to say, "Enough!"

You can only do so much. I think it turned out well and I'm happy with it.

Here then, comes my dilemma: what do I do next?

Ihttp://www.wattpad.com/39695970-a-moment-in-the-sun

This is the first chapter (rough cut) of "A Moment in the Sun." Wattpad is a social media/writing site that is new to me, and I'm trying it out as a means to get some new audience in the mix.

You can also read this, and much more at www.behance.net/torygates

Anyway..."A Moment in the Sun" was written at the beginning of this year. It came quickly; this could be the step up I need.

Here's the deal..."Parasite Girls" became the test case for my writing. It is straight fiction; "Moment..." is fiction, but as the main characters are all teenagers, it can be considered a crossover to Young Adult, which is what I mostly write.

Half-step, maybe?

The story is fully set in Japan, and again I touch on a phenomena which is not unique to that part of the world, this time. Here is the story that inspired it:

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-23182523

Now in this story is referenced a manga, "Welcome to the NHK." I got the first volume, and I was not terribly impressed by it. The storyline was too typical, and did not touch enough on why the main character was hikikomori. Didn't explain it well.

I had a couple of ideas on what to do with this, but then "Moment..." made its way into my brain and would not leave.

A close friend of mine read the first chapter aloud from my Behance site...her husband said that sounded good.

Hmmm...

Not long ago, I described the story aloud to another friend. She was busy clearing her desk and doing that kind of work, but her ears pricked up. She said, "That's the one."

I wonder...it is a specific story, a few more characters than "Parasite Girls," but easy enough to follow. 

I think this is the best step up. Then, following this I can again do a full-blooded YA story, which likely will be "The Drifters."

What is happening here is that I feel in a hurry. I feel like I have got to get these out, but I cannot throw money into the creation of a project, then jump to the next. It just does not work.

I am promoting "Parasite Girls," and once I get off weekends, then I can really do that. Each of these projects is time-consuming. I have talked about how "PG" took a full year to realize. Yes, it did. I'd already written it; but then what followed was every single thing you need to do to make it real.

I am also again trying to find a publisher/agent...it's worth trying now, because I have a book in hand. Here's the next one, and the next one, and the next one...better risk I'd say.

Staying the course, being patient, keeping myself somewhat together. Yeah, I have to do it. There's no time for worrying, I have to just keep on doing all these things.

The shit ain't over yet.

"Parasite Girls" upcoming release, and Why the Things We Do...

Well, here it is Sunday, and I'm in the Office, trying to organize myself and get ready for another exciting afternoon behind the board for Hershey Bears hockey...can you smell the sarcasm cooking yet?

Oh, I do enjoy the job, but it has its disadvantages. I am hopeful to soon know more about long-term and actual employment, but I have a much more important step to take on Monday.

It's time for a SHAMELESS PLUG:

How about that?

This is the cover for "Parasite Girls," my debut, which comes out on Smashwords as soon as this week. A dream will come true...I will be a published author.

Hold your applause, please, because I want to make sure we can get this done and done right before any of that. My friend Alice will do diligence at getting the final format done tomorrow, and the upload completed. 

Let's hope it goes well. Mitch Bentley is the artist, and you can find out more about his work and services at Atomic Fly Studios.

So, what's it about? In a nutshell, "Parasite Girls" is the story of a burned out journalist named Aidan who is trying to remake himself. He turns up on the doorstep of his old college friend, Mima and they reacquaint. The past is recalled, some of it scary; Aidan soon leans that while on her own, Mima struggles with her past and present.

Two of Mima's closest friends, Sora and Eko are also tagged with an unfair term, the "parasite single." It's a real phrase, used to describe young people who stay at home longer than they "should," and live off their parents.

The point is that's a broad brush and wrong to use on everyone. Aidan knows everyone has a story, and he finds out what theirs is.

Aidan recalls, as do the others, just what never dies despite years and miles that separate people.

I hit on some real aspects of society, and return to a place I once lived. I also have a few things to say about the media which I work in, and also a look at mental illness, and some of its manifestations.

It's a good story, I think, and one that needs telling. I do not touch terribly deeply on some items, because those would be books in themselves. 

The book comes out on Smashwords, here's my profile:

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/torygates

More info there very soon. I also joined an interesting group, the Independent Author Network:

http://www.independentauthornetwork.com/

The landscape of writing and authorship has changed. Actually, it changed a long time ago but we were loath to allow ourselves to think that. The days of being sneered at (and worse) for putting out your own work is no longer a bad thing. It does NOT mean you suck as a writer, or weren't good enough to rate a publishing contract, a book tour, and the top spots on the NY Times Bestseller List and Oprah Winfrey's reading list.

The thing is: this changed a long freaking time ago and we did not know it. Or again, our egos did not let us consider it.

Here is my case study, which I use as a template: about 17 years ago, I conducted an interview with two fellows from New York (by way of Maryland) who were in a folk-rock duo called the Wicomicos. Carmen Yates and Mikel Campbell had been in a rock band in the early 90's, had a record deal, all of that. It didn't work out.

They chose to cut loose from all that, by writing their own songs, producing their own records, touring in a big red van, and getting their own gigs. They did it themselves, made a name for themselves, and produced two very good recordings.

Carmen is in New York, and primarily makes a living producing music for soundtracks, TV commercials and other such projects. He has a new band called Racing Rain. They showed us it could be done.

Self-publishing has taken off with the advances in computer technology. Used to be, you had to pay some company a lot of money to make your books for you. This is called a "Vanity Press." Now the term has changed, and the way this is all done has changed a lot, too.

I have shied away from any company that wants money for me to put my books out. I don't have it, and I wouldn't throw it down the hole. I know of too many horror stories, too many people who were ripped off, too many people whose dreams were stolen by sleazy, unscrupulous operators. Just look at Writer's Beware, and you'll see those stories.

Not to say you can do it all for free, not at all. I've been careful with the money I spend on getting "Parasite Girls" ready. You see the cover? That was my largest expense, I suppose, but still a very reasonable amount, given Mitch's talents and the hours he spent on it.

You do need a killer cover. Get that through your head, folks. I also thank Alice for focusing in on a pivotal scene, the one that captures your imagination (I hope) and also captures the energy, the mania and the madness of each person involved.

Now, back to music for a bit: for years, I saw artists selling their music from the stage. Even those who had record deals did that, cut out the middle man, $15 for the CD, right here, right now? Why the hell not?

Hard to do with books. You can't really tour if you're not known, and the days of that are pretty much over. I am NOT the kind of person that can sit at a table in a bookshop with a stack of poorly-made books with shitty bindings and a generic cover, smiling with the hope that somebody buys my book.

It does not work. You need to engage--you need to show them, not tell them. A bit of fine advice from writer friends about my style years ago.

I am still trying to figure out how to engage with a book that is not a book. I will figure that out.

There are countless bands out there that do it themselves. With no label but the one they form for themselves, a Reverbnation and/or a Facebook page, and the availability of reasonably inexpensive recording gear, they are already on the way. Sure, you're not flying first class (if at all!), you're sleeping in the van, on people's floors, couches, spare beds, at your mom's. You see where I'm going, right? You pay your dues.

The amount of money you make will largely NOT be the millions you dream of. The adulation you expect will be no more than whomever is sitting or standing in front of you. 

But that's not so bad...I recall years of doing Rocky Horror before no more than a couple dozen like-minded crazies, and they appreciated what we did. I played to larger crowds too, and it's nice. Enjoy when you get it. The main thing is what you do to get there.

I have more fun writing and creating my semi-real-world universe than anything else of late. I have a ton more stories of different types that I want to tell because I think I have something you might like. If not, no big deal.

I do not plan to soak you for cash. The price will be reasonable and level with what others are charging. Cool thing is, you don't need an eReader or a Kindle--download, read on your smartphone or your computer. All good.

Suffice to say: the world has changed, and we have to change with it. I am putting "Parasite Girls" out to test the ebook waters, and to introduce myself to the world.

There is no point in waiting for a book deal, or for an agent who understands what I'm trying to do to get me one. I'm going for mine, right fucking now.

Amanda Palmer said in a recent speech (paraphrasing here) that the audience you present to might just be those people in someone's living room, attic, space, etc. How true. I told you about Rocky Horror; I recall doing a demonstration of a series of pieces from a version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame in the loft apartment of the director's friend in New York in '96. Maybe two dozen people there? I don't remember. But you do it, because you love doing it.

I love writing. I love my work in broadcasting. I love to play music. It's fun. To be able to do these things and actually make a living is ideal, and I have had that over the years, so I'm damned lucky.

I am not done yet, either. Parasite Girls is just the start, and I have more to share. I hope to live long enough to not just reap some of the fruits of my labor, but to see how you react to it. That'll be the bigger payoff.

I'll be shamelessly plugging it all on my Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and fuck knows where else. This is what I do.

See ya.