The Rock, the Island, and What On Earth is This?

It is time as we approach the Deep and Dark December, that I again realize that I have to devote a period of time to this blog thing. I haven't done it much of late, because I'm busy. And I don't often feel I have much to contribute to the blogverse any longer.

Someone recently made an observation about my busy nature. It is that, to be busy, to be occupied, to be doing things. An old friend counseled me in her way of saying something without meaning it be a judgment, that I was doing things to keep myself busy.

She would be right.

The important thing for me is to try and keep myself moving forward, despite the ever-increasing need to focus an ever-declining number of brain cells toward tasks at hand. 

The Simon & Garfunkel tune has always resonated with me. I wonder who that misanthropic character is based on. Interesting that song out of so many wonderful ones from that period showed up on my radar as a young person, and stayed.

I had old Columbia 45's (remember those?) my brothers had and left...I think those were David's, but I can't be sure. Anyway, the music of the late 60's was in the head of a young child, post-Boomer, pre-70's, who knows what I was.

I'm aware of certain things from that period, not all of them good. I remember the music my brothers listened to specifically: Beatles, Stones, CCR, Dylan, the Doors, I think. Not a bad template to learn from, and the generations after that followed them.

Music again is coming back around for me, but it is not taking. An old friend and bandmate is interested again, as is a friend from another project. I don't know.

I honestly don't. I can still write, but do I have the health, and/or the energy to do another band, another project? I have some questions that need to be asked before I commit.

My writing...I am a pre-Curmudgeonly Zen Pagan Bastard who is in a Fucking Hurry. I am trying to be patient.

I had a very interesting experience the past couple of weeks, and I want to share what happened with the online retailer Amazon.

I give you Exhibit A:

"Parasite Girls" came out in 2013, and you can get it from me (when you see me, heh!), on Amazon.com and on Smashwords for cheap, if you have an e-reader, any of them.

Well, this book was mired down in about 8-millionth-515-thousandth place for fiction not that long ago. There are something like 11 million books for sale through Amazon.

My old friend Jim Henry, author of many interesting things, such as the Antiquity Calais series told me that he purchased his books full price for his book signing stock, because it helped his sales numbers.

I thought about that, and so I conducted a test. I bought ONE copy of "Parasite Girls," $9.99 plus shipping. I wanted to see what would happen; it takes a day for the figures on Amazon to catch up.

Next day, "Parasite Girls" was at 255-thousandth something.

What's that tell you?

Was that a fluke? So just for fun, I tried with my latest, "Live from the Cafe."

Well, it was at 7 or 8-millionth whatever, too. That jumped to 250-thousandth or thereabouts.

One book.

One full-price buy did that.

What. The. Fuck?

Not like I'm getting a lot of the cut for those, but damn. So friends, this is why we need to have the support of those who dig what we do.

If a few people, just a few people buy the book, Amazon and the muckety-mucks who know what's what in the literary world will take notice.

"And if two people do it...in harmony..." (Thank you, Arlo Guthrie)

It becomes an organization, or a movement.

You know, I totally get that my writings may not be your thing. I get that money is tight as fuck, and if the tax package those drooling bottomfeeders want to pass in DC goes through, it will be even tighter.

The thing I need, however, is not just that. I have to keep writing, I have to keep working, and I have to get the body of work going in the direction it needs to go.

I'm not seeing the support of the community the way we thought we'd see it. Local bookshops may not be in the keeping of a corporate office telling them everything to do, but they too must stock what they know they can sell. Shelf space is not easy in too many cases.

Doing my best to get my work out there, to get that attention, to get the public to meet the real, live author, and then it becomes the pitch that you hope gets people to whip out their card or their wallet.

Hardest part is when someone is supportive, and says they'll buy your stuff...and then they don't.

I don't mind if you don't, but don't bullshit me. If it is not your thing, I'm cool with it. My work is a semi-acquired taste, I realize that.

But I gotta get the next one ready, and I'm formulating too many things at once, while doing everything else at the same time.

This is how it is. I'm in a hurry, because I may leave this body before all things are in place. So that's why I'm like this.

Okay...now here's the topic of the week.

Sexual harassment, and/or assault.

Yikes.

The body count is rising. From Harvey Weinstein's antics, it now has crossed all manner of business. Roy Moore, in his fake "Christian" arrogance and the idea that women are handmaids and girls are virginal creatures for the taking and abuse is still likely to win a seat in Washington.

Matt Lauer, #1 seat holder on the "Today" show is gone, and suddenly. 

And why am I not surprised about Garrison Keillor?

Well...first of all, I don't know any of these guys. But you see them, and you know the culture we are in.

In the media business, believe me, it hasn't changed much. The Boys Club is still that, and horny, crotch-grabbing, masturbatory world of 40 year olds who didn't make it past middle school for maturity. All you need do is listen to sports talk radio, or any talk radio, and you can hear it.

Let's think about harassment. You know, I was as guilty as some, but thankfully I have not suffered consequences other than embarrassment, having to face something I didn't fully understand, and then owning it.

One reason we have people like this is because we do not have frank, honest discussion about sex, sexuality, and the breaking down of roles, re: what we are and what women are, and how we're supposed to treat one another.

I had no social skills growing up. None. I had very little understanding for attractions, and I didn't always understand what others said. I was behind the curve.

The things we said in college...you have to know, I didn't have hardly any contact with high school peers. I remember emotionally how I was the first year in college, awkward, shy, not mature enough to be there.

I admit that my efforts to know certain people were taken wrong...but that is my fault.

I own not understanding how I creeped out people that were my friends. I didn't know, but I did know. 

That immaturity lasted until I got called out my senior year by a young woman. She let me have it and I deserve what I got.

I apologized, and I think she accepted that.

That incident changed a lot of my thinking, but I still had a lot of growing up to do. I have at times not been correct, but I am certain I've not intentionally hurt anyone.

I learned my boundaries, and I want to think I am ever more mindful of that.

So why has this perpetuated itself all these decades?

Well, let's look at some of what I heard and saw in my career. Certain jobs I had were pretty chill, in terms of the male/female dynamic. I did have one issue with one fellow employee; me forgetting myself, not gauging a sense of humor, a fuckup again, on my part.

Beyond that and before it: I could not be surprised at the sexist, and misogynistic attitude some men (and men old enough to know better) displayed toward female colleagues, be they announcers, in sales, or interns.

Ei, but the interns got shit from some quarters. I remember one station was a mill for interns. One executive had nicknames for some of them. The prerequisite for an intern was not where you went to college, what you were doing in school, or what you had for any kind of track record, but how short were their skirts, and how big were their breasts.

That's an observation. I know what I saw, and heard. I found out that one of the young ladies who was in the place for a time trained as a kickboxer. I was manager of the station at the time; I gave her permission to use her skills as necessary.

She was amused, but she understood, and seemed to have been through it before. I kind of hoped to walk in one day and find one of the offenders lying on the floor after taking a roundhouse kick to the teeth.

One of my colleagues was still thinking he was in his 20's when he was not. He totally was convinced that if a young female sat, stood or breathed in his vicinity that, SHE WANTS ME!!!

FACEPALM.

My point is not to stigmatize anyone or anything like that. My point is, we have all fucked up at least once in our lives.

We have said things we wished we didn't say; we did things we could take back. We can't. We can only hope to show some growth by being sorry, admitting our error, and trying to make it right.

Some people are beyond hope. They truly believe they can do no wrong, that everyone's overreacting, they're lying, they're soft, they're Milennials, they're snowflakes, this, that, etc.

NO. YOU ARE JUST A FUCKING CHILD IN AN ADULT BODY. 

We need to grow up, folks. In so many ways.

We don't live in the past. This is not the set of "Mad Men," or any of those other shows.

I don't give a shit what you look like. I don't care what you wear, or don't wear. If you're working with me, you are a fellow, a colleague and we are working for the same fucking goals.

You might be asking, "Well, don't you have attractions for women?"

Of course I do. I'm just at the point of knowing that in my life, the way things are...I don't see women interested in me. Or anyone, for that matter.

Yes, people, male or female, neutral, this, that whatever, you interest me by what you say, what you do, how you are. I don't have to agree with you politically, religiously, spiritually, or on anything. 

But how do you treat people? And how do you see me?

I take it as a case by case thing, and try to do my best to be the person who would like you to treat me as I do you. If that makes sense.

Yes, some people rub me the wrong way. Some people piss me off. Some people I find abhorrent.

I don't hate anyone. I despise some people, dislike others, have contempt for a few, but I don't hate them.

Hate is a destroyer. The people who spew their filth on social media from behind their keyboards and fake screen names, you are killing yourselves. You are taking a dull, jagged butter knife and disemboweling yourself on the Altar of Facebook.

If you think your employer, your family and friends can't see you, think again. They will find you; hopefully before your ulcerated cancerous soul dies, and your lie in a pool of your own self-satisfaction.

Now some of these people...a disturbing story has come about regarding Ann Curry, a co-host on "Today." I always felt that Ann was a good journalist, who would have made a very good host.

They used her as a toy, a fool, a joke, the token Asian lady. The worst thing they did to her was dress her up like a cheerleader.

Nothing surprised me about morning TV and it still doesn't. News is not delivered from a couch, assholes. I'm showing my age, but so what?

Curry it seems was set up to fail by those behind the scenes, and it appears Lauer, if not behind it directly, was in on the game and approved.

She was gone, Lauer was given millions to re-up in 2012-13, because execs were worried. Meredith Vieira was leaving, and the loss of the appealing and popular host, coupled with the potential loss of Lauer, left NBC in trouble. 

They didn't trust Curry, nor like her, and they ran her out. They treated her like shit.

Now Lauer suddenly got fired. My guess is whatever he did or is alleged to have done was bad enough, or, a long enough pattern beyond circumstancial evidence or he-said, she-said that he had to go.

Keillor...I'll tell you what, the urbane, cultured, intelligent voice of Lake Woebegon was a gifted storyteller, and is. He is a decent author and writer, and he knew how to run a show.

I did not like certain things about "A Prairie Home Companion." For one, his use of executive privilege.

His singing. He can't. I can sing better than that.

I didn't mind his singing the open, "Ah, hear that old piano from down the avenue..." That sets the tone, you know where you are. That was fine.

But his insistance on singing with the guests! No, just didn't work.

And the pervy old geezer...I remember his bizarre, strange, haunted look he had on his face when the show was live on TV several years back. He was telling a story, and he looked and acted for the world as a perv. Something was just not right.

I thought, "Okay, it's how he looks, his voice, this is how he gets the point across."

Then later on, his perverse onstage gushing over a singer named Iris DeMent. Iris is a folksinger from Kansas, and her voice is unique. She is a good musician and a very good songwriter.

Her voice is high. Nails on a chalkboard high; I get it, but I don't.

Well, she was a staple on the show, and I figured out why one time while listening. Keillor introduced her and over-explained how they were going to sing "a love song" together.

He sounded like a quivering, licentious fiddler (not a musician) as he spoke to DeMent onstage in a way that was disturbing. Fucking Disturbing. 

They sang "That's the Way Love Goes," which Merle Haggard made a hit with. She sounded fine; he sounded like himself. Embarrassing.

Why on Earth DeMent kept going on that show I have no idea. Maybe she didn't feel he was doing anything, I don't know. We'll have to ask her.

Now...this incident:

I do not know the woman's side yet...Keillor has admitted to touching her, but that either she moved, or things didn't angle right, and she was taken aback.

He apologized. Is that what happened? I don't know, I was not there.

This is not to defend Keillor, because his track record of treating backstage people is not good. He's not the nicest man, I hear, but to be fair I have not met him.

I think we guys need to check ourselves. Even if we have not said/done anything, and our records and consciences are clear, here is the lesson I've learned over the years.

Men are NOT chick magnets. Women do NOT want us, just because we're there.

I've often felt my physical condition, look, size or whatever is hardly sexy by the standards that we're expected to uphold. Women, well, see what they're forced to deal with. It's worse. I don't think I need to go there.

As a man, I know certain things attract me, but I hope I know that is not what makes a person, not one bit. 

A little advice from an old guy about relationships, and the love thing: my experience has always been, that I didn't expect to fall for someone. 

I was not looking for it. It happened. It didn't matter to me who that person was, the feeling was there, and it went from there.

At my age, I have a lot of what I call Intellectual Friends. People I can talk to, hang out with, discuss things. I find those the best relationships, because those people become your friends.

That's about it.

We are going through them changes, and we've resisted change with every fiber. We can't live in the past anymore, we need live for the now, and for the future. It's changing, all of it is changing, we are changing.

Embrace the change. Accept the change, and know that change does not have to kill you. Unless you want it to. 

If that's the case and you cling to that past, my dear, you're on your own.

Peace, Out.

Our Professional Disaster, and Other Opinions

Okay...get ready for another one:

By now, we have heard and seen the sadness of yet another tragedy in this world. The sinking of the "Sewol," a South Korean ferry that has left nearly 300 people still missing. Even sadder, nearly all the passengers on this particular voyage were high schoolers headed for a field trip to an island.

Ferry disasters are not uncommon in this part of the world. It is too soon to tell exactly what happened: it appears that the vessel struck a reef or something, listed sharply to port and sank very fast. Boats like those are not built with the watertight integrity of modern ocean liners; belowdecks is cargo area and space for vehicles.

You can imagine the damage the boat took, and how quickly things changed.

From what we also know (from the sad and eerie messages texted from some who didn't get out), the passengers were told to stay put. An order to abandon ship did not come for 35 minutes, and survivors say they never heard it.

Staying put at first is standard procedure. You don't want to start a panic and a stampede, I get that. Efforts to correct the list failed; only then, did the order get made to abandon.

That seems to be about the size of it all. Now, why am I going on about it?

The media coverage, which I have tried to avoid apart from the sources that I felt more trustworthy. While I do not understand the language, I watched the Korean Broadcasting Network's coverage online. They did special coverage, and as I note below, they ran it in an interesting way.

They run like a PBS station, or Japan's NHK. A very professional, low-key and proper presentation. NPR would be the same way, as would the BBC. Yes, I am biased, I am part-time employed by an NPR affiliate, but I know how they work.

I know how the other side works, too. 

I made a point of keeping an eye on how the Beeb, NHK, and the Asian networks handled the matter. They have done it for the most part with confidence in themselves, calmness, and yes...PROFESSIONALISM.

Something lost on far too many of my colleagues.

Now, I was prompted to write this and include comments I made on this site:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/south-korea-ferry-prosecutors-seek-arrest-warrant-for-captain-1.2614660

Commenters are furious over the CBC's usage of footage, photos, etc. They are getting in a lather over it. Well, they have got some justification, I see it.

They don't watch much American TV, I don't bet. Look at what we have, and what our broadcast media has mostly degenerated into.

I do not mean to sound like an old guy, nor do I wish to slag my colleagues, but I'm not impressed with even the veteran behaviors exhibited by people you'd think had more of an idea of how to act before a camera.

I'm putting the finger on the TV side, which I don't have much experience in, but have enough to know.

Here's what I wrote (whether or not they'll permit its use, I don't know):

"Look, I fully understand the complaints you have, regarding the use of the grief of the families who are still wondering if their loved ones are alive. I would feel as devastated as they. If you think the CBC is bad (not to defend them), I suggest you watch American cable networks if you can stomach it. 

I work in this media. I agree, we all too often use the suffering of others for our own egos, gain, ratings, etc. That's why I don't work in television. In a 24/7 news cycle you are going to see the same stories and the same footage, over and over again. The days of the six o'clock news with the National or what have you at seven, with a ten o'clock update are long gone. That's why you see the recycling. There just is not enough content to fill it all. 
 
Now...I have watched the Korean Broadcasting Network's coverage. They were going with special coverage during the unfolding events, but they get high marks for professionalism, and keeping their emotions in check. They did damned well. Same for NHK and the BBC; they did not go "wall to wall" with coverage. In comparison, CNN's obsession with the Malaysian airline disaster shows how bad we can get. 
 
I've spent 30 years in this business folks...I don't like the way it's gone anymore than you. I cringe every time I see a cable news host lose their s--t and do what their bosses tell them to, and whore themselves with emotional ranting, and blame-tossing. And yes, they will do anything they can to stir emotions and keep people watching. 
 
The last two generations of "media people" (my term) are largely a bunch of smart-assed little brats who have grown up on talk radio, fake reality TV and Fox News. They think this is news. Most of these kids wouldn't last 15 minutes in a proper newsroom. Today, I can name colleagues whom I like as people, and who have the tools but don't get the application. We call them, "Book Smart, Street Stupid." 

This is how it is. If you do not like it, let them know, and not just on a comment board where no one is paying attention. It would also do to stop watching that s--t. I grew up near the Canadian border, and I always admired the way the news was presented. To some extent, I still hear it being done well. 
 
Forgive my going off, because I hope you understand why things are done the way they are. Honestly, if I were in charge, I might well use some of the same footage you are complaining about, because it does help tell the story. All the time? No, probably not. 
 
That all said, I remain saddened by the stories of those people who are lost and their families. We can't imagine their grief unless we've lived through it. Don't think we in the business like these stories: we don't! We would love nothing better than to just tell you about mundane, and yes, even boring happenings. 
 
Like your countrywoman sang, "A little good news," yes, we'd rather do that."

Well, there you have it: our own addiction to knowing everything right this minute, and the pressure we face to get it out there, right here, right now and without delay.

We don't have the resources, folks. We don't have the money, we don't make the revenue to do it the way you think it should be done. Absent of that, I know people in newsrooms who work their asses off day in and day out to do it "right." Even if they don't get it first, and it's not breaking news anymore.

Too many in this business do it in a way that is wrong: "GET THE STORY FIRST, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. WHO CARES IF IT'S INACCURATE? THE PUBLIC HAVE SHORT-TERM MEMORIES, THEY'LL FORGET."

No, actually they won't. And they don't. They don't forget when we fuck up. Whether or not they actually turn away, well, that's another matter for debate.

Guess the thing I'm getting at is: do you think we have too much of it? It's up to us to decide to turn it off, and come to it when we need or want it.

As it stands today, I am on the edge of this business. I am outside looking in, for the most part. What I do makes a difference in small ways, and I am thankful that what I do provides a service. A real one: if you want it, it's there. If not, that's cool, because you may not need it.

Addiction. Yes, we are addicted to some pretty crazy things. News (mostly which confirms our own ideas), so-called Entertainment, brain-numbing shows, and obsessively watching every move so-called celebrities make. Though for the latter, most of them really don't do anything I would consider to be that spectacular.

In the end of this...it may seem a rather unusual step away from the topic, but here it is. We lost one of the great authors of our past century. Gabriel Garcia Marquez left us at the age of 87. The key adjective to describe his work is "imaginative." He mixed real life (much of it around his native Colombia) with fantasy. Imagination...not something you need to live by, but something to make you think and give you a little of what we all need. Not too much, but enough.

We all need to think about it, really think about what is important. I am trying to shed light on this for you. While I also try to figure out how much I need...and don't want.

Thoughts for the day, and hopefully for a bit longer while I sort out my own issues. My own writings are not meant to shake foundations and destroy worlds; they have their own place, and I hope to live long enough to see the day that stories like "Parasite Girls" get their day. I'd like to know what readers think, and hear it in their words. That would be a bigger payoff than money.

Okay...let's hope for a little better in the coming days.

Peace, Outta Here...

It Was 30 Years Ago Today...

...well, not exactly 30...tomorrow (4/1) will somewhat, approximately, kinda-sorta my anniversary.

My 30th Anniversary in Broadcasting. Excuse me...

...30 Fucking Years.

I don't even feel that old anymore. I started thinking about this earlier today and realized that if I don't write this now, I'm not going to do it tomorrow on the day of this momentous (hah!) occasion.

So...let's see...where do I start? I've had people ask me a lot of questions about my chosen profession over the years, including the inevitable ones of, "How do you get started?", "Why do you work a job that doesn't pay anything?", "Why aren't you like Howard Stern?", "Why don't you want to host a talk show?", and fuck knows how many others.

I've had all of those...the one about the money was occasionally alluded to by my family. But more on that later.

I admit to having an interest and fascination with radio as a kid, but I also have to tell you I really didn't see myself as ever having an opportunity to do anything like that. Not that I didn't dream about it.

Growing up in near the Canadian border, I got the best of both worlds, both US and Canadian radio, and that included music as well as news and other stuff. I remember certain personalities, people, music, etc.

A lot of strange stuff returns to my brain right now...today, these things would never be done on commercial radio, and probably rarely on what is now called "Community Radio." Those low power FM's and the like that try to go as mini-NPR stations, doing their own thing, and relying on the kindliness of the public.

Anyway...the whole thing for me started here:

Michelle Hartley painted this mural in the basement of Saint Joseph's College (of Maine) back in the 80's. I went to St. Joe's in '83, with no idea of what I would do for a career. I had horrific grades in high school; I was at best a bored and uninterested student in just about everything. Lots of reasons for that, but that's how it is.

When I learned that we were getting ready to go on-air with an FM station whose signal in those days reached into Portland, I thought: "Oh...this might be interesting."

We did not get on air until the afternoon on 4/1/84. I pulled a one-hour shift late in the first day. 

My first song as a DJ? I honestly don't remember.

Well, fast forward to a month and a few days later back in Vermont. One day after going home for the break, I walked into the old WDOT-AM in Burlington, and by virtue of the world's shortest job interview, I had one.

OK...so I didn't look back. Much.

It has been one long and strange trip in so many ways. And the shit ain't over yet. I have passed through more stations (existing and not), more formats and more co-workers/colleagues than I can number or even remember. I've worked in the weirdest set-ups, the flashiest studios, and have dealt with the best...and not necessarily the worst characters, but some scary ones to be sure.

When I wasn't being weird one.

We constantly remake ourselves. Sometimes it works, but often it just does not. I have spent the majority if not all of my career not being known. And to be honest, I prefer it.

I am a worker. I am a "Service Machine." This is not a bad thing, you know. There came a time in my career when my ego had to get smacked down, and fucking hard. It happened two or three times, very early in my career. I won't name names, or situations, but the deal was this: 

"Kid, you're good, but you ain't that good. You got a long way to go."

And...I'll add this: "You must never stop learning."

What I mean by that is you must never stop learning what you are capable of doing. When you get to turn your hands to something you never thought you could do, you become surprised and even stunned to find out...that yes, you can do it. And do it well.

Yeah, I've had a few points in my life where I wondered why I got passed over for things. When I was younger, I irrationally and immaturely believed I was getting the shaft. 

Then...about ten years into my career a guy who came up behind me said the same damn things and an awful lot more. I suddenly realized he reminded me of me. Guess we all go through it.

The business has changed. We can go on and on about how bad things have gotten, how the jobs have dried up, how the revenue is gone, and how we are no longer valued.

I call bullshit.

You know, I have not had a full-time radio gig in five years. I'm still jobbing, getting hours when and where I can. 'Cause this is what I do.

I love the business, and the experience. Right now, I am part of a company that is headed into a new market and frontier...radio? Broadcasting? More the latter, but it's all part of the same damn thing.

It may also seem strange to you that I spend two hours on a Thursday evening, hosting a show on a small internet station. 

www.radio-airwaves.co.uk

I do it to keep myself sane at times. I can be like I was in college and play music I like, music that I think has value and play it for others. If you like it, great, if not, that's okay.

People ask me all the time if I like what I do. My response is always the same:

"BEATS WORKING!"

If I had to do it over, I'd do it again. I'd hope with benefit of hindsight I might not make some of those mistakes again, but you have to learn somehow.

Thing is: a lot of us do not learn. There are people in this biz who are one-trick ponies. They do one thing, and it may be good, but it doesn't always stand the test of time. You need to remake, like I said; adopt, adapt, improve. If you don't, you will be on the sidelines wondering why.

I've been a DJ for nearly every format. I've hosted shows, co-hosted shows, produced shows, been a journalist, a traffic reporter, a this, a that, a manager...we all do these things. We don't always have the titles before our names, but we do them.

I think at this point, my career went about the way it was meant to go. This is not just about money, but that's nice when you can get it. I've had other jobs, but this is not a job. This is what I DO.

I also write, I play music, I do the things I enjoy doing. Yeah...I could have gotten a desk job, or some kind of management job, or whatever...I could have made more money, been more stable financially, but I would not have been happy.

Rich People have Rich People Problems. If I was, I'd deal. I didn't do too badly, though. And I'm done.

I like where this thing is going, and it opened doors to everything else. It was not always smile-inducing, these past years, and it was not always fun. But it was different.

That makes it good.

You think this many years is something? One of my colleagues at the new job has been in this business, non-stop, 51 years.

That's right. Guy's a legend...and he's now a traffic reporter. 

He still loves it.

So do I.

Do what you love, life is too fucking short to be bored or killing yourself. Friend of mine once had that great job, but he said the stress got so bad, he was pounding a six-pack of Heineken every fucking night to get through it.

Not worth it.

For me, this is.

I have broadcasting to do, even in the shadows. I make a difference in a small way, but a good one.

I do everything else because I think it makes a fucking difference. Forgive my self-centered thought...even if it is just for me, in that moment.

Been fun...and I have more waiting for me.

Peace, Out.

Putting the First Book Out...A New Step Forward!

Here we are, just a day or two from 2013, and in the wake of the End of the World As We Know It (yeah, right), Yule, Xmas, and whatever else, I find myself at the crossroads.  Time to make a step I was not ready to make, until now.

It's been brought home to me that I have spent an awful long time regaling fellow bloggers, blurkers and the rest about my alleged exploits in writing.  My Facebook posts often go on about my edits of this, and my writing of that.

It's time to set one of those projects free.

I am going to test the waters of electronic publishing next year, via Amazon.com, Kindle and whatever those other devices are people use to "e-read."

My aim is to release my fiction novel, "Parasite Girls" through this medium.  It's time to get some of my work out there, make a name for myself and see what people think of it.

I have decided not to put out (at least not yet, mind) any of my YA Fiction/Anime type stuff.  There are some reasons for this:  first of all, my agent at Sullivan-Maxx is contracted to push the first book of the "Sweet Dreams Series."  I'm not sure putting out similar work is a good idea, because I'm afraid that will detract from the SDS.  It might be seen as a knock-off, or wrongly perceived.

I also wanted to put "Parasite Girls" out because I can actually write in a different genre, and I need to show I can do different stuff.

Another reason, and this may either cause me to do some rewriting, or make changes I'm not certain about:  song lyrics that are not my own weave their way through a lot of the work.  Under Fair Use, you can get some leeway, but...out of respect for copyrighted works, you need permission.

That permission can take a very long time; you have to do it properly, because I know I'd be pissed off if somebody quoted my song lyrics in a book, and I didn't at least get a footnote that states it's mine.

A legal expert has told me the best way is to request formal permission, if you really need them.  If not, either eliminate the lyrics or write your own.

One interesting interpretation, and you might not have known this.  I sure didn't:  if suppose, you have a character speak a line from a song (he used "I Saw Her Standing There" from the Beatles), that is not enough to infringe on Lennon/McCartney (or Michael Jackson's decsendants, urgh), in terms of the copyright.

If the character sang those lyrics?  Then it's infringement.

Stephen King wrote out lyrics from CCR's "Bad Moon Rising" in "The Shining," but gave a footnote and proper credit.  Easy to do; but again, permission required.  That's part of the dilemma.

"Parasite Girls" has very little of other people's stuff, so not a lot to worry about.  I have applied for a couple of permissions; if I get them, fine.  If not, no big deal.

I appreciate the insights given me by Don Chase and Dori Hartley, regarding e-publishing.  I still have a lot to walk through to get there.

This is as much a job as it was the editing.  Writing is not a job to me, but the rest of it is.

I'm telling you this, because as another friend of mine pointed out, I'll be editing until the day I die and SDS might never go up.  I still believe it will, but yeah, I'm not getting any younger.

I want to do this; the world has changed, and I have had to disabuse myself of the notion that an actual book-in-hand is the greatest thing.  It could be, sure; but if not, the next best thing is the future.

I read somewhere 21% of the world's books are read by Kindles, Nooks and whatever those other things are.  I don't own one, clearly; but I suppose I will get one.

Andrei Codrescu (I don't know how to spell his last name) is a writer and commentator on NPR now and again.  He sounds like a curmudgeonly old Eastern European guy (I think he is from Romania, but I do not know); he recently talked about how he got one of those things, and had something like 40 books on it.  He said what it let him do was indulge his love of books and reading without killing his back!

The number is gonna go up, in terms of that readership.  It might even save reading, when you think about it.  I felt behind the times when vinyl gave way to tapes and CD's; I still love the compact disc, but now I've finally started to realize the future is in audio downloads and stuff like that.  The book and record stores will soon be things of the past.

That is sad, really.  It is the way of our times, though.

So back to this:  "Parasite Girls" will take some time, and it is just a beginning.  I have another fiction novel of the type that I might also do, but that will come later.

This one?  Well, I think it's good as a story goes; I've tried to touch on different things that have hit me over the years.

What's the plot?  Well, w/o giving it all away...we follow a photo-journalist named Aidan; he has traveled the world in search of its stories but yet never really seen that world at all.  He lands in Japan, at the apartment of an old friend, seeking refuge in the wake of a terrorist attack, and the resulting intrigue has soured him on the business and life in general.

Aidan discovers what past he has in common with the old friend runs deeper than the things he saw in college.  That past again becomes present in the form of her family, and an old love.

Her two best friends are studies all their own:  one battles mental illness, and the other is the "Parasite Girl" herself.  

What does Aidan find out about himself?  Can he reconcile his own past, and remake himself?  Will he be able to help his friends, as they each struggle with their own issues?  What decisions does each one make?

This could be an interesting film, when you think about it.  It's not a romantic comedy, not at all.  Drama, yeah...I hope I convey it well enough.

Anyway, it is a beginning...while we are at it, I will be doing some remaking of things.  My website eventually will rise from the ashes, and as I've mentioned I may well move my blog either to there or to another site.  

Either way, I'm taking a step on a new road, as a wise man once said.  I have to do it; at the very least, it is not a failure but a learning experience.  At best, I'll be closer to what I really want.

Thanks for reading; I hope you can support what I do.  Enjoy 2013; it's gonna be a better one for us all, I hope.

Peace, Out.