It is time as we approach the Deep and Dark December, that I again realize that I have to devote a period of time to this blog thing. I haven't done it much of late, because I'm busy. And I don't often feel I have much to contribute to the blogverse any longer.
Someone recently made an observation about my busy nature. It is that, to be busy, to be occupied, to be doing things. An old friend counseled me in her way of saying something without meaning it be a judgment, that I was doing things to keep myself busy.
She would be right.
The important thing for me is to try and keep myself moving forward, despite the ever-increasing need to focus an ever-declining number of brain cells toward tasks at hand.
The Simon & Garfunkel tune has always resonated with me. I wonder who that misanthropic character is based on. Interesting that song out of so many wonderful ones from that period showed up on my radar as a young person, and stayed.
I had old Columbia 45's (remember those?) my brothers had and left...I think those were David's, but I can't be sure. Anyway, the music of the late 60's was in the head of a young child, post-Boomer, pre-70's, who knows what I was.
I'm aware of certain things from that period, not all of them good. I remember the music my brothers listened to specifically: Beatles, Stones, CCR, Dylan, the Doors, I think. Not a bad template to learn from, and the generations after that followed them.
Music again is coming back around for me, but it is not taking. An old friend and bandmate is interested again, as is a friend from another project. I don't know.
I honestly don't. I can still write, but do I have the health, and/or the energy to do another band, another project? I have some questions that need to be asked before I commit.
My writing...I am a pre-Curmudgeonly Zen Pagan Bastard who is in a Fucking Hurry. I am trying to be patient.
I had a very interesting experience the past couple of weeks, and I want to share what happened with the online retailer Amazon.
I give you Exhibit A:
"Parasite Girls" came out in 2013, and you can get it from me (when you see me, heh!), on Amazon.com and on Smashwords for cheap, if you have an e-reader, any of them.
Well, this book was mired down in about 8-millionth-515-thousandth place for fiction not that long ago. There are something like 11 million books for sale through Amazon.
My old friend Jim Henry, author of many interesting things, such as the Antiquity Calais series told me that he purchased his books full price for his book signing stock, because it helped his sales numbers.
I thought about that, and so I conducted a test. I bought ONE copy of "Parasite Girls," $9.99 plus shipping. I wanted to see what would happen; it takes a day for the figures on Amazon to catch up.
Next day, "Parasite Girls" was at 255-thousandth something.
What's that tell you?
Was that a fluke? So just for fun, I tried with my latest, "Live from the Cafe."
Well, it was at 7 or 8-millionth whatever, too. That jumped to 250-thousandth or thereabouts.
One book.
One full-price buy did that.
What. The. Fuck?
Not like I'm getting a lot of the cut for those, but damn. So friends, this is why we need to have the support of those who dig what we do.
If a few people, just a few people buy the book, Amazon and the muckety-mucks who know what's what in the literary world will take notice.
"And if two people do it...in harmony..." (Thank you, Arlo Guthrie)
It becomes an organization, or a movement.
You know, I totally get that my writings may not be your thing. I get that money is tight as fuck, and if the tax package those drooling bottomfeeders want to pass in DC goes through, it will be even tighter.
The thing I need, however, is not just that. I have to keep writing, I have to keep working, and I have to get the body of work going in the direction it needs to go.
I'm not seeing the support of the community the way we thought we'd see it. Local bookshops may not be in the keeping of a corporate office telling them everything to do, but they too must stock what they know they can sell. Shelf space is not easy in too many cases.
Doing my best to get my work out there, to get that attention, to get the public to meet the real, live author, and then it becomes the pitch that you hope gets people to whip out their card or their wallet.
Hardest part is when someone is supportive, and says they'll buy your stuff...and then they don't.
I don't mind if you don't, but don't bullshit me. If it is not your thing, I'm cool with it. My work is a semi-acquired taste, I realize that.
But I gotta get the next one ready, and I'm formulating too many things at once, while doing everything else at the same time.
This is how it is. I'm in a hurry, because I may leave this body before all things are in place. So that's why I'm like this.
Okay...now here's the topic of the week.
Sexual harassment, and/or assault.
Yikes.
The body count is rising. From Harvey Weinstein's antics, it now has crossed all manner of business. Roy Moore, in his fake "Christian" arrogance and the idea that women are handmaids and girls are virginal creatures for the taking and abuse is still likely to win a seat in Washington.
Matt Lauer, #1 seat holder on the "Today" show is gone, and suddenly.
And why am I not surprised about Garrison Keillor?
Well...first of all, I don't know any of these guys. But you see them, and you know the culture we are in.
In the media business, believe me, it hasn't changed much. The Boys Club is still that, and horny, crotch-grabbing, masturbatory world of 40 year olds who didn't make it past middle school for maturity. All you need do is listen to sports talk radio, or any talk radio, and you can hear it.
Let's think about harassment. You know, I was as guilty as some, but thankfully I have not suffered consequences other than embarrassment, having to face something I didn't fully understand, and then owning it.
One reason we have people like this is because we do not have frank, honest discussion about sex, sexuality, and the breaking down of roles, re: what we are and what women are, and how we're supposed to treat one another.
I had no social skills growing up. None. I had very little understanding for attractions, and I didn't always understand what others said. I was behind the curve.
The things we said in college...you have to know, I didn't have hardly any contact with high school peers. I remember emotionally how I was the first year in college, awkward, shy, not mature enough to be there.
I admit that my efforts to know certain people were taken wrong...but that is my fault.
I own not understanding how I creeped out people that were my friends. I didn't know, but I did know.
That immaturity lasted until I got called out my senior year by a young woman. She let me have it and I deserve what I got.
I apologized, and I think she accepted that.
That incident changed a lot of my thinking, but I still had a lot of growing up to do. I have at times not been correct, but I am certain I've not intentionally hurt anyone.
I learned my boundaries, and I want to think I am ever more mindful of that.
So why has this perpetuated itself all these decades?
Well, let's look at some of what I heard and saw in my career. Certain jobs I had were pretty chill, in terms of the male/female dynamic. I did have one issue with one fellow employee; me forgetting myself, not gauging a sense of humor, a fuckup again, on my part.
Beyond that and before it: I could not be surprised at the sexist, and misogynistic attitude some men (and men old enough to know better) displayed toward female colleagues, be they announcers, in sales, or interns.
Ei, but the interns got shit from some quarters. I remember one station was a mill for interns. One executive had nicknames for some of them. The prerequisite for an intern was not where you went to college, what you were doing in school, or what you had for any kind of track record, but how short were their skirts, and how big were their breasts.
That's an observation. I know what I saw, and heard. I found out that one of the young ladies who was in the place for a time trained as a kickboxer. I was manager of the station at the time; I gave her permission to use her skills as necessary.
She was amused, but she understood, and seemed to have been through it before. I kind of hoped to walk in one day and find one of the offenders lying on the floor after taking a roundhouse kick to the teeth.
One of my colleagues was still thinking he was in his 20's when he was not. He totally was convinced that if a young female sat, stood or breathed in his vicinity that, SHE WANTS ME!!!
FACEPALM.
My point is not to stigmatize anyone or anything like that. My point is, we have all fucked up at least once in our lives.
We have said things we wished we didn't say; we did things we could take back. We can't. We can only hope to show some growth by being sorry, admitting our error, and trying to make it right.
Some people are beyond hope. They truly believe they can do no wrong, that everyone's overreacting, they're lying, they're soft, they're Milennials, they're snowflakes, this, that, etc.
NO. YOU ARE JUST A FUCKING CHILD IN AN ADULT BODY.
We need to grow up, folks. In so many ways.
We don't live in the past. This is not the set of "Mad Men," or any of those other shows.
I don't give a shit what you look like. I don't care what you wear, or don't wear. If you're working with me, you are a fellow, a colleague and we are working for the same fucking goals.
You might be asking, "Well, don't you have attractions for women?"
Of course I do. I'm just at the point of knowing that in my life, the way things are...I don't see women interested in me. Or anyone, for that matter.
Yes, people, male or female, neutral, this, that whatever, you interest me by what you say, what you do, how you are. I don't have to agree with you politically, religiously, spiritually, or on anything.
But how do you treat people? And how do you see me?
I take it as a case by case thing, and try to do my best to be the person who would like you to treat me as I do you. If that makes sense.
Yes, some people rub me the wrong way. Some people piss me off. Some people I find abhorrent.
I don't hate anyone. I despise some people, dislike others, have contempt for a few, but I don't hate them.
Hate is a destroyer. The people who spew their filth on social media from behind their keyboards and fake screen names, you are killing yourselves. You are taking a dull, jagged butter knife and disemboweling yourself on the Altar of Facebook.
If you think your employer, your family and friends can't see you, think again. They will find you; hopefully before your ulcerated cancerous soul dies, and your lie in a pool of your own self-satisfaction.
Now some of these people...a disturbing story has come about regarding Ann Curry, a co-host on "Today." I always felt that Ann was a good journalist, who would have made a very good host.
They used her as a toy, a fool, a joke, the token Asian lady. The worst thing they did to her was dress her up like a cheerleader.
Nothing surprised me about morning TV and it still doesn't. News is not delivered from a couch, assholes. I'm showing my age, but so what?
Curry it seems was set up to fail by those behind the scenes, and it appears Lauer, if not behind it directly, was in on the game and approved.
She was gone, Lauer was given millions to re-up in 2012-13, because execs were worried. Meredith Vieira was leaving, and the loss of the appealing and popular host, coupled with the potential loss of Lauer, left NBC in trouble.
They didn't trust Curry, nor like her, and they ran her out. They treated her like shit.
Now Lauer suddenly got fired. My guess is whatever he did or is alleged to have done was bad enough, or, a long enough pattern beyond circumstancial evidence or he-said, she-said that he had to go.
Keillor...I'll tell you what, the urbane, cultured, intelligent voice of Lake Woebegon was a gifted storyteller, and is. He is a decent author and writer, and he knew how to run a show.
I did not like certain things about "A Prairie Home Companion." For one, his use of executive privilege.
His singing. He can't. I can sing better than that.
I didn't mind his singing the open, "Ah, hear that old piano from down the avenue..." That sets the tone, you know where you are. That was fine.
But his insistance on singing with the guests! No, just didn't work.
And the pervy old geezer...I remember his bizarre, strange, haunted look he had on his face when the show was live on TV several years back. He was telling a story, and he looked and acted for the world as a perv. Something was just not right.
I thought, "Okay, it's how he looks, his voice, this is how he gets the point across."
Then later on, his perverse onstage gushing over a singer named Iris DeMent. Iris is a folksinger from Kansas, and her voice is unique. She is a good musician and a very good songwriter.
Her voice is high. Nails on a chalkboard high; I get it, but I don't.
Well, she was a staple on the show, and I figured out why one time while listening. Keillor introduced her and over-explained how they were going to sing "a love song" together.
He sounded like a quivering, licentious fiddler (not a musician) as he spoke to DeMent onstage in a way that was disturbing. Fucking Disturbing.
They sang "That's the Way Love Goes," which Merle Haggard made a hit with. She sounded fine; he sounded like himself. Embarrassing.
Why on Earth DeMent kept going on that show I have no idea. Maybe she didn't feel he was doing anything, I don't know. We'll have to ask her.
Now...this incident:
I do not know the woman's side yet...Keillor has admitted to touching her, but that either she moved, or things didn't angle right, and she was taken aback.
He apologized. Is that what happened? I don't know, I was not there.
This is not to defend Keillor, because his track record of treating backstage people is not good. He's not the nicest man, I hear, but to be fair I have not met him.
I think we guys need to check ourselves. Even if we have not said/done anything, and our records and consciences are clear, here is the lesson I've learned over the years.
Men are NOT chick magnets. Women do NOT want us, just because we're there.
I've often felt my physical condition, look, size or whatever is hardly sexy by the standards that we're expected to uphold. Women, well, see what they're forced to deal with. It's worse. I don't think I need to go there.
As a man, I know certain things attract me, but I hope I know that is not what makes a person, not one bit.
A little advice from an old guy about relationships, and the love thing: my experience has always been, that I didn't expect to fall for someone.
I was not looking for it. It happened. It didn't matter to me who that person was, the feeling was there, and it went from there.
At my age, I have a lot of what I call Intellectual Friends. People I can talk to, hang out with, discuss things. I find those the best relationships, because those people become your friends.
That's about it.
We are going through them changes, and we've resisted change with every fiber. We can't live in the past anymore, we need live for the now, and for the future. It's changing, all of it is changing, we are changing.
Embrace the change. Accept the change, and know that change does not have to kill you. Unless you want it to.
If that's the case and you cling to that past, my dear, you're on your own.
Peace, Out.
Greetings once more, blogworld...this is the first time in a while that I have time to write something other than what I am working on, and that is partly due to the inability to get in gear at a time when I must absolutely do it.
Where have I been? Back on the road again for GeoTraffic.com -- after the layoff, I was called back in. Restructuring has gone on, and I am back in action for them. Needless to say, glad to have it, and I think we might just make a significant step in the near future. Gotta be optimistic.
Busy doing my other jobs...Radio PA part of this week, which means getting out of bed at about 1:30 in the morning. Not much different than Geo, because the morning shift for me means getting up at 3:30. And the travel, and all the other stuff.
Writing...okay, recently I hammered out after several false starts a manuscript called, "Night Dawn."
https://www.behance.net/gallery/19966397/Night-Dawn-Chapter-5-Excerpt
It is potentially a young adult novel about one person's struggle through a critical period of teenage life, rife with numerous issues...most of which I experienced myself. Long way to go before that's ready. I had to get it out of me.
20.
I am not completely sure what counts as full and finished...but I may have 20 manuscripts or books written.
20.
I can't remember if that number includes the horrific sci-fi novel I wrote in the 90's. But...since 2007, that's what I have been doing.
20.
So...what of "Parasite Girls?"
Forgive me, but I am going to say something that needs to be said. If I had a nickel for every single person who told me they were going to buy or download my book...I'd have a very big bag of nickels.
To those who have, THANK YOU. I am appreciative and respectful that you laid your money down for me. I hope the book is worth it to you, and that you at least enjoyed it. I hope you also let others know it was good.
The past year has been a year of learning what NOT to do. I have learned quite a bit about promotion on the fly, and I am going to have to use a very different set of tactics when I get the next one out there.
And yes, the next one, "Drifters: Tales of the Southern Cross" has potential for more than one book, but that's too far down the road.
https://www.behance.net/gallery/14840009/Drifters-Chapter-9-The-Lonely-Ocean
There is a rough cut of it. I will be editing this fall, Mitch Bentley will be working up his magic for a cover, and I aim to publish again by Amazon.com -- I am not impressed with Smashwords and its lack of action, so I may not go with them for the ebook thing.
This is more of what I write, the young adult world, a bit of fantasy, fiction, non-fiction, travel, and yes, madness. I'm good at the latter.
I am also endeavoring to get another work, "A Moment in the Sun" a read from publishers or agents. This one is young adult/adult fiction...crosses over. Friends have told me this one has something more to it.
I have to go all out for this...this is what I enjoy doing and what I want to do. The aim has been and still is, to get some of my work out there, get that built up, and then hope by the right time, someone will notice that, "Hey, this guy has something good."
I think I do, anyway.
One thing I've noticed--you still need a big name behind you, you still need a real deal publisher or you will not get much notice. I don't care what anyone says...we all can't get a "Colbert Bump," as a colleague suggested I go for, or have some self-serving twit on TV or wherever touching themselves over you. Doesn't work.
A band can make their own records and tour...but you still have to have support behind the scenes.
I am if anything, a stubborn SOB. I don't quit, even when my better judgment says I should.
So yeah...it's a battle. But one that I approach with the idea that at the end of the day, I'm still alive. So I haven't lost.
The one thing I wish I could get is about a month or two where I didn't have to chase money and could seriously map out what I need to do, beyond the writing. So far, I think a lot about it; not much more.
It will get done when the time is right. Anyway, I need to hit the pool, and get ready for round two of my workday.
Round 3 is at 3:30 am, or as my colleague Tim Lambert says, "Oh-Dark-30."
Check out what I got on Behance...ask me questions, I'll have answers.
Peace, Out.
Greetings, all...my friend Riz likes to refer to her readers as "blurkers," and I wonder if that's not an apt term. Well, get ready for this one, because we are about to go on a ride.
I am not writing this for you to feel sorry for me, so please don't do that. Also, I am right now back on an even keel, and we'll see just how long that lasts.
I write this mostly to give you an idea of how I feel at this time, and also how a lot of people (I think) are doing. This is not uncommon, not that extreme, and nothing for you to be terribly worried about. But this shit happens, and with me, it fucking happens.
About ten days ago, I felt it coming...I felt the very slow surge of emotions moving on me, and you know what it is. It's like being around Cape Horn in a tiny boat; you're already battling gigantic waves, and then you see it in your binoculars: that one, monstrous, 100-foot tsunami that is coming right at you. And you can't do a thing about it.
I have reason to feel this way. Yet, should I?
First, let's take a look at the situation. Oh, and I am about to shamelessly plug again:
Yes, once again, my book "Parasite Girls" is ready for sale, and you can get it here:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/377011
Sales are slow...very slow. I should know this, right? It's an e-book, no, there's no book in hand, not right now anyway.
But do you need that? Really?
Look, I'm as much in love of the feeling of a good, old-fashioned BOOK. I love the feel of them. I used to have tons of them, and I still have more than I need.
That's where part of this issue comes from. I did not expect it to fly through cyberspace, and I did not expect "Parasite Girls" to become a runaway hit...but I would have like more than just a few downloads of the free part that you can read to decide if you want it or not.
Ah, well...such is life. I remind myself, this is only a first step to getting more, and even better stories out there. If this is how it goes, then so fucking be it.
NOW...TELL THE OTHER SIDE OF MY BRAIN THIS!
I am poised on the edge of writing a new story...in fact, I have two or three that I could start any day. But...I have to promote the first one.
My friend Jess has kindly asked me to do a reading of "PG" at her restaurant in downtown York. The Ladybug Cafe (shameless plug for my good friend) is a cool place...great food, nice people, all good...so I will do it on the 11th of December. I am still not sure how I'm going to execute this, but I must engage, read, and talk to the people. Whomever will be there. My erstwhile bassist, Dan Shearer has offered to add guitar to the drama that shall come from this.
Haha...oh, this is hilarious as I write. Now I'm chuckling...everyone's going to think I'm mad...oh, where I am, they already know that.
So yeah, I'm not done...I'm not quitting, and I am forcing my brain to understand that all things take time. You have been patient this long, keep going, do not quit.
Okay...now the next situation:
I am going into my fifth year without full employment. My jobbing about at various places does not exactly translate into good, or even livable income. I'm holding the line just fine, but you know what? Something has to give here.
I have spent two years actively job hunting and searching. Yesterday, in exasperation I turned most of the work over to a service, and hope they can get me some additional looks, hits, and so forth. We shall see.
A few weeks ago, I went to Philly, and appeared at a networking party. It was done at the Wells Fargo Arena; basically, I bought a ticket to the Sixers game, and got stuffed into a tiny room with 75 other job seekers. We were shuffled about to team executives from the Sixers, Phillies, Union, the ECHL and others.
Met some pretty cool people, and very interesting folks. I did better talking with them than getting hold of the executives. The Sixers I don't think were in charge of this; the company that did it does not know how to lay on a networking event, we all agreed. Pretty slip-shod.
I missed the tipoff, and I only watched the first half, because I had to work in HBG that morning...Sixers got their clocks cleaned by the Warriors, who have got some pretty damned good players these days.
No time to really enjoy the experience, though I will go to a game again in future.
So yeah...I also was turned down for numerous jobs, and have been ignored for at least one that I have done before. How it goes...
...so now...let's get to the good part, shall we?
The tsunami hit me over the weekend. Today (Wednesday) is the first day in several that I have not ridden waves of mania and savage depression. This has not been fun, folks. One minute, I feel fine...the next, I'm ready to commit atrocious acts. No, not really, but you feel like you could.
There are ways to counter this, but none of them were working. I hit the pool yesterday, despite having done it the day before and not being in the best of rested condition. But I tore through it, and felt better for doing so. Dragging myself to the gym and forcing myself in there was the only way.
When I cannot avidly go there, and see that place as Hell, you know there's trouble.
The cold is another matter. The weather overall, really. Overcast, dark, rainy and cold conditions here, no snow, but I'd rather have that. Most days like these don't bother me, but it's taken a toll on me again.
The past two days have been gut-wrenching. My ego has been tamped back down into its little box, as I demand that I stop thinking like a fucking adolescent about why life didn't turn out right. It does no good, so I will not let that to light anymore.
So what happens is, you force everything into a tight space, and it's not big enough to accommodate it. My feelings of inability start to ooze forth, and I wonder what now can I do to correct this? Is it to late?
I try to consider that I've done about all I can right now, and there really isn't much more available to me at this point. So now what do I do?
The key thing is to "DO" something. I am not a slacker; I have been shamed into lack of slackness from years of my upbringing, where on a farm if the work is done, FIND MORE.
And it's true...the work is never done. There is something else to do, just find it. If you can't find it, you are not looking hard enough.
I have this strange collection of little jobs that I should do, and I keep saying I'll do them, and I never do. That is the most galling and awful thing to me...I hate that...I hate being able to do a lot of things, but not the little ones that have to get done, from a practical standpoint.
One of those is sitting in the back seat of my car right now; today, I was to take this set of items to a place and get them seen to...place was closed...owner hadn't shown up yet.
Thank you for your interest...NOT.
Well, there are other strange things...appointments...I have one to make in about 40 minutes from now, but that is easy. Getting my car to a shop for inspection will finally happen next month, but it took days for me to finally just call the place and make an appointment.
I think I fear the lack of my ride. Sitting for hours in that place, with a blaring television of shit network programming, and...PEOPLE.
I'll make sure I have my headset with me, should that arise.
I have to also take initiative on another thing, but I'm uncertain because I don't have much experience in the area. The only person I know and trust with that can't do it.
OK...need to own this motherfucker, and just do it.
I can do many other things, why not this?
Let's now take this up a notch, to a period of the year that everyone can understand, OK?
THE HOLIDAY SEASON.
Do you know how much I CAN'T FUCKING STAND the holidays?
This has NOTHING to do with religion, or Christmas, or any of that. Just so you know. I don't care one damned bit how you celebrate, or how you don't, that's your business.
In broadcasting there are no days off. I tend to be the one that is on duty, at least part of those days, and that's fine. I don't mind it.
When it comes to Thanksgiving, I now have my own tradition. I like to cook, and I'm not very good at it, but I do like to do that. So I try to build my time around that, if I'm not working. I like football as much as the next guy, but since I don't have cable and I don't drink, I'll be listening on the radio, probably. All good, no worries.
I will NOT BE SHOPPING ON THANKSGIVING. I will also AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE the so-called Black Friday.
I understand for some that is a tradition, it's fun, and yes you can get great deals. Cool, go for it. Knock yourselves out.
I just don't need to do it. I fail to understand it, never have.
Actually today is the day to get the one thing I really want, but I tend to vacillate about whether or not the "thing" I want is really something I need.
And do I need one more thing? I've spent the past month or so in another round of removing stuff I don't want or need. Those recycling bins you see all over the place, they know me pretty well. I just hope that stuff really does get recycled, given to others in greater need than I. I hope so. There's my give-back...these things are good, useable, safe...use them.
So yes...my internal whatever has been a fucking mess the past two weeks or so, and I'm sure it's not going to stop. This time of year, and then extending right through Xmas to the end of it, I have no idea how to cope except to move through it.
Yule will be a good night to be alone, to light up my altar and reflect on where we are now. That is usually what I do this time of year, but I also tend to approach that with some caution and even more dread.
I have to tell myself this: I have accomplished much in these years, and I have more to offer, and to give. I will do it, and I will not quit. My family doesn't quit for nothing, and that's that.
I am riding out a not-so-perfect storm...today I'm good. Tomorrow, who knows?
This is what I deal with on some level, every fucking day of my life. This is not fun. This is also not for you to feel sorry, as I've said.
If I could push a button and turn this off, I would not do it. My creative abilities would vanish, and I'd be nothing more than a drone in a suit, sitting at a desk somewhere, or walking the aisles of a convenience store in the middle of the night. I would not be me. I would be even less.
Whatever happens, I have to keep pushing, promoting and moving forward. The survival mechanism, I suppose; I do admit to lacking some of the tools I need to really get forward, but I made it this far.
Whatever...time to get going on "things." Fun, fun, fun...
Hey all...it's Thursday morning, and I'm slowly buzzing my way in the upward direction. Chick Corea and John McLaughlin's "Five Peace Band" is an appropriately rippling sound to go through my brain right now. Interesting stuff...
So, yes...the book came out on Monday!
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/377011
You can view it there, and buy it if you choose. Currently, the manuscript is under review, which means until it passes muster, it's only available there. Soon, however, "Parasite Girls" will be available across numerous platforms, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, KOBO, and also through participating libraries. Very cool.
Well, the selling part is slow. I had to expect that, because when one goes to Smashwords, you see that EVERYONE thinks they're an author.
Now I'm not going to be a critic and shit on people's writing I have not read, if it is not my taste. But I can see why certain rules and regulations are in place for what can be published and what can not.
I'm not offended by it, but...there is an awful lot of alleged erotica for sale, in short story version, and for not much money. I say "alleged," because erotica and pornography to me are two very different things. If erotica is written well, and is experienced or imagined well, it can be very good.
Then there's the stuff I recall seeing on spinning racks in one of porn shops in Boston's former Combat Zone some 20 years ago. About like that.
I will not name the name of the person who wrote one bit I chose to sample (I don't even remember his/her name), but this lesbian erotica was nothing more than some sexually repressed individual who had no experience, and used adjectives stolen from other such writing. Blech.
I don't have a problem with you projecting your fantasies, because I won't be buying them. But you'd think there'd be a little respect for craft? Oh, that's right, what am I thinking...? My bad.
There was one guy who had a string of short stories, and I get the feeling either he hasn't had sex for a long time, or he's got a misogynist streak in him that only Adam Carolla and similar such losers can top. It's not about objectifying women (or men, for that matter), but an outright resentment, and even hatred for them.
Interesting, no?
So anyway...the great advantage of being able to self-publish means you are creatively free. For the most part, anyway. No one checks on you, unless you are willing to submit your work to a professional, in order to make sure you are doing it right.
I am thankful that I got a free shot. Christie Stratos of Proof Positive put out an offer to proof work for free to start her business. I got lucky, and was one of those people. She gave me a very strong review of something I did not learn in school, or just didn't bother to listen to.
A lot of my issue was punctuation, and the killer commas. They kill dialogue, dead. Christie helped me through her critique and examination get rid of them, so the storyline flowed better.
Most writers I'd hazard a guess don't do that. They just put it up there, under the idea that, "Oh, it's my work, it's brilliant, and people will flock to it."
Ah, no. So far, the only person who has bought "Parasite Girls" is ME. I made the buy as a test, and also a gift for a relative. I needed to make sure the system worked. It does, so it's all good.
I've found my work is in a sea of published authors, self-published authors, and wannabes. I do NOT want to be seen as the latter; I'd like to think I'm a step or two higher than THAT.
So anyway, I am going to be talking this mother up for a while, and I hope you'll forgive me. I just think "Parasite Girls," while not the greatest work of my career, is a good story that examines social concerns, some real-life issues, and an underlying theme: WE ALL HAVE A STORY.
Everyone has their reasons for why the things we do, which I noted earlier. Aidan, the main character tells his by doing, not talking. A lot of flashback scenes for him bring his life in a way, full circle. His longtime friendship with the female lead, Mima is seen through the past, and how that past becomes present.
Now, the term "Parasite Single" is one you have likely never heard of, unless you are from Japan or lived there. There is a book about it, written by a professor named Masahiro Yamada. I have not read this book, and in no way am I going after the man for what he wrote.
But he formulated the book over this phenomena he detects in Japanese society, and it is a shift. A lot of young Japanese women (and I don't doubt some men, too) seem to be staying at home a lot longer than you'd think, and allegedly living off their parents so they can live self-indulgent lives.
Okay, I can think of at least one or two of those in my own family, but I won't name names. Their business, their choice. And that's another point--these folks made their choices.
Why so different in Japan? Well, the concept of roommates is not exactly known over there, far as I understand it. Japanese folks live alone, or they live with family. This is not unusual in itself. Prof. Yamada's assertion it seems is there a fair number of "parasites" who do go to school, go to work, make good money, etc., but they stay at home.
The insinuation is they spend all their money on themselves, and offer nothing to the family in terms of rent, board, upkeep, food, and so on.
That cannot be the case in every single person. This is one thing I do not like about criticism--it's too easy to paint with a broad brush, or in some cases, a power painter.
Everyone has their reasons. In America, you often hear snarky comments in the media or from internet trolls who say that so and so lives in his mom's basement, or stupid shit like that. Anyone who does that, they assume must be a failure at life or a loser, or something.
Well, everyone has a reason. Sometimes it's money, lack of work, illness, think about it. Aidan's journey takes him back into Mima's life, and those of her dearest friends, Sora and Eko. They appear to be parasites, and are tagged as such.
Why? Both are about 30, and still live at home. We soon find out why, in Sora's case, and it's a matter that's close to me.
Eko seems the poster child for the term, but she too has a story.
Again, we paint with a very broad brush, and we have to be really careful not to. Not all people are what they seem, and behind each person's plasmic self are the reasons for what they do, or don't do.
Simple as that.
So, where to next? I hope to be making an appearance in York next month, as part of the city's First Friday series. More on that soon. In the whirlwind of getting "Parasite Girls" out for the public, I've had to consider everything else. Those mundane things like, you know, work, haha.
My personal issues are not so great at this time I can actually focus enough to sit here and write this to you. I have to be patient about the book, and do my best to stimulate some interest. Either way, I am undaunted about the next steps I plan to take, and those will be formulated over the next few months.
I do have to consider "work," because while I have some, I need to find more. Such fun there, but that's life. I have to think about the world I live in, and I mean at home. There's a lot to focus on, and yet I am having a hard time focusing on each thing. Occasionally I disappear into that wormhole, and don't stop until I get a proper conclusion.
Kinda like my writing, heehee. As I've said before, I write because I love it. It's therapy, I think I have a bit of a knack for it, and there is something really satisfying about the accomplishment.
When Alice and I saw the book drop on Monday, I felt a great relief. For better or worse, "Parasite Girls" is out there. I fucking did it.
Till next time, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Peace, Out.
