Penn State: the Way of Being, and the Scandal (Part I)

It comes time for me to weigh in on the matter that has taken Pennsylvania, college football and a whole lot more by storm.  By now, even the most casual follower of major college football knows of the scandal that has gripped Penn State University.  The fallout has been tremendous, as was to be expected, but we are seeing much more happening here.  Much more, indeed.

Not so much that such terrible things are alleged to have happened; they unfortunately do in all walks of life, but that they may have happened in a place where such things could never have been conceived.  Add to it, by someone who was so respected, admired and honored as the one who started the terrible process.

It is also about those who chose not to "do the right thing," to cover up, to ignore and pretend it wasn't there, all in the name of protecting "the program."  I admit, a lot of what I will say will be opinion, observation but with a fair amount of reality.  At least I will do my best to dissect what has, and is happening...hopefully what will.

First, we have the man alleged to be the perpetrator, Jerry Sandusky:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Sandusky

I will be the first one to tell you that everything on Wikipedia may/may not be accurate, but this mostly appears to be.

Now, take away the charges and lurid details (more on that later); here's a guy that is a product of Penn State.  He played footbal there, went off to coach, came back and built a solid reputation as a defensive specialist.  For over 30 years, Sandusky served under Joe Paterno, developed very strong defenses, and a string of All-American linebackers, several of whom made to the NFL.  He was Def. Coordinator from 1977-99, when he retired; Sandusky had turned down offers to coach at Maryland, Marshall and elsewhere.  His heart it seemed was with Penn State, and who could blame him?

He founded a home for underprivileged boys called the Second Mile.  Sandusky had a precedent:  when he was nine, his parents lived in Washington, PA; they convinced the local officials to keep a small center for kids in need open.  They moved in above it, saved the place and kept a safe haven for kids.  Sandusky always talked about how that stuck with him, and I honestly believe it did.

Now...forgive my being a cynic, but Second Mile is a rip from the Bible, and that sure plays real well in Pennsylvania, especially up in the North-Central, State College area.  Nothing like working God in there, eh?

Well, for years, it would seem that Sandusky, his wife and all those who helped made the charity a going thing, a multi-million-dollar deal, that gave young kids (boys primarily, I think) a chance they never really had.  Hundreds have been through it, and I'm sure most of them don't have horror stories to tell.

Like these alleged victims do...

http://www.attorneygeneral.gov/uploadedFiles/Press/Sandusky-Grand-Jury-Presentment.pdf

I'm gonna warn you...that official report is not pretty.  We had known for three years that a grand jury had been investigating Sandusky, and reports (sketchy they were) of some rather strange and untoward behavior.

Since grand juries tend to be closed door affairs, we never heard an awful lot, but we heard enough to know there was smoke...a lot of smoke.  You know what comes next, right?

I'll put myself where I was as this all started to go down.  Friday, the shoe dropped, and it was learned that Sandusky, 67 years old, the man long thought to be Paterno's successor had been indicted on the charges described in the above AG's report.  I had not read the report until Saturday, when I was working the weekend shift for WITF and KYW Newsradio.

KYW was covering this as a full blown news story;  the arraignment had taken place Saturday morning.  Radio PA (the WITF-owned network I was working for) had an empty newsroom, but for me that afternoon.  Thanks to my colleagues from the WITF News side, I had material to work with, and I ended up rewriting and recording a couple of pieces for RPA's news.

Now, this was all sickening enough...but into the mix were two superiors:  Athletic Director Tim Curley and VP of Business & Finance Gary Shultz.

Look at the pictures of those guys (clearly from the Penn State site or somewhere they do those standups), and you have Dumb and Dumber.  They too face charges, for the alleged cover-up.

Let's do the skinny on that...it was clear that Sandusky was in trouble from as early as 1994.  In '98, one of these incidents occurred on the Penn State campus; there was an investigation, and University Police (yes, they have their own police force) chose to do nothing more (allegedly) than to warn Sandusky and they let it go.

They let it go...allegedly.

Fast forward to the incident that we now know involves Mike McQueary, now the receivers coach under Joe Paterno.  Back in '02, McQueary testified that he caught Sandusky sexually assaulting a boy in the football locker room showers...he testified that he took the matter to his father, and they went to see Paterno the next day.

The AG's office and all others agree that Paterno then took this matter to Curley, his superior, his boss, if you will.  Curley promised action; he and Shultz met with McQueary about ten days later, and assured McQueary action would be taken.

Here's what all appears to have happened:  part of the terms of Sandusky's retirement in '99 was the standard package a lot of folks get after years of service.  This included perks like education discounts for himself or dependents; Sandusky also got an office which he apparently used for the Second Mile activities, and unfettered access to the locker rooms, gym, workout centers, etc.  Like he'd never retired.

They took his keys away.

Yeah, and apparently also told Sandusky not to bring any more kids onto the campus.

Now it gets worse.

NO report to the police, the local and/or state police.

NO report to the state, as mandated under the Pennsylvania Child Protection statutes.

It also seems from the, "he said, he said" back and forth in testimony, that Curley and Shultz (allegedly) obscured the picture, not only to University President Graham Spanier, but to anyone else in the know.

Paterno, according to his grand jury testimony and all others agree, did the right thing.  He informed his superior, and did so in good time.  More on that in a moment.

So here we are:  Sandusky is free on $100-thousand bail.  Dumb and Dumber are free on $75-thousand each; Curley has requested and been placed on administrative leave, while Curley has returned to retirement.

That being said:  I want to make very clear, I am not trying to convict anyone myself.  Sandusky, Curley and Shultz deserve a fair day in court, and a right to be defended against these charges.  Innocent till proven guilty is the law of this land, despite a media (and quite a few others) who think it is the other way 'round.

Based on what we're hearing and reading (and you need to take a lot of this with grains of salt, many in fact), Sandusky was a classic pedophile:  he used his position at Penn State, with the Second Mile and within the community to build good will.  Somewhere along the line, it's conjectured he began using it all for something insidious.

The profile, experts say is very classic:  Sandusky singled out boys for extra-special attention.  He took them to Penn State games, they got to hang out at practices, Sandusky was showing them a good time, making them feel wanted.

In a lot of cases, a kid without a really solid family and not a lot of options can sure as hell use that kind of hand up.  No doubt a lot of kids benefitted.  But Sandusky appeared to have found the ones most vulnerable, the ones who would keep their mouths shut.

The grooming induces skin-crawling sensations that just make you ill, at least they do to me.  Others say that Sandusky's double life was obscured (mostly) by his personality, his way with people; you're made to think this is the last guy on Earth who would ever do things like these.

Yeah.  They've said that before too; many times.

So here we have the bones of the story, and how two university officials, high-ranking officials with great responsibility upon them, dropped the ball...allegedly. 

Why do that?  Why risk everything to keep this all hushed up?

For that, you need to understand a little more about Penn State, and the "Way."

###

What is the "Way?"

As someone who is not from Pennsylvania, I hope I can offer an outsider-looking-in sort of view.  Growing up as a kid, I was a sports fan.  I was into just about every sport there was, though I could not play any of them well enough to save my own life.

I'd never been a big fan of college football; it just didn't interest me as much as the pro game, and that includes the CFL, considering I grew up in Northern New England, near the Canadian border in pre-cable TV days.

But I certainly knew about Penn State, the Nittany Lions, and I knew who Joe Paterno was.  Those plain, blue and white uniforms, the huge stadium in a place nicknamed "Happy Valley."  JoePA was the grandfatherly coach who ran a unique program.

He believed that seniors, if they were still on the squad from their freshman year, got to start because they'd earned it.  You had to be damn good player if you were playing regularly in your first or second years.

The program seemed "clean."  You almost never heard of NCAA violations coming out of PSU, though occasionally there might be a miss-step.  Nothing, though that ever meant sanctions, loss of scholarships, loss of postseason play none of that. 

Considering what happened to SMU and how the program never fully recovered from the "death penalty" in '87, you didn't expect anything like that again.

Some have put the recent scandals involving pay to play at the University of Miami as somehow like this.  No, this is something other...it doesn't involve players, shady agents and the like.  It involves men in power, in authority and of influence.  Some who appear to have acted terribly, others who have acted out of cowardice, greed or some other need.

So now, let's look at Penn State...the university is indeed a reknowned and well-respected school.  You can't be dumbass if you go there; the courses of study across the state system are among the best in the region.  No argument.

The sports programs have always been touted as good, competitive programs, but that academics always came first.  It seems that way; you never hear much about football or basketball players getting sidelined because their grades stunk.  You never hear about players getting the smart kids to do their papers for them or letting them copy their exams, that kind of thing.

In this part of the world, there are supposedly strong values about honesty, ethics, integrity, all of that.  Penn State tries to live that way, but all schools should be putting those things forward.

The exception to the rule about sports was football, and Joe Paterno.

He is the all-time winningest coach in Division I football; he just passed Eddie Robinson of Grambling for wins, with 409.  He's won two national titles, numerous bowl games, and he's turned out a remarkable number of really good football players.  A great teacher, yes.

But with years and years of his being there, the success, the power...comes the cult of personality. 

It's not even Paterno's fault; Paterno became bigger than the university, for the very things he preached and practiced.  He elicited a following of alumni, students, boosters and whomever that basically saw him as a God.

Not God, mind...just one who rode on God's shoulders when he wasn't reading the classics or diagraming plays.

The adulation becomes frenzied if you dare say anything ill of JoePa; mention that he's too old, that in recent years his teams aren't that good, anything like that, and you will be smacked down by people who virtually foam at the mouth at your blasphemies.

This extends to the media, and I've not a lot of liking for colleagues who continually carry a torch for JoePa...I won't name names, but there are a few radio, TV and print media guys who week in and week out virtually masturbate in public over the greatness that is Joe Paterno.

Most of them aren't, anymore.

And that is where I come to the next point: 

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/football/joe-paterno-fighting-for-his-job/article2229289/?utm_medium=Feeds%3A%20RSS%2FAtom&utm_source=Sports&utm_content=2229289

This story is one of many out there.  The calls are loud for Paterno to step down, resign, be fired, anything.  So many of those who loudly tub thumped and trumpeted JoePa's praises are now demanding he be served up on a silver platter.

Why?

Let's look into that.

Technically and legally, Paterno did the right thing in '02 when that horrid allegation came up.  Paterno is 84; back then he'd have been about 75.  At an age when most men are having trouble getting out of bed, Paterno could still get about, but over the years people have wondered just how much coaching does the man actually do?

He never wears a headset anymore; he does talk to the players, the coaches, the officials, sure, but is he a figurehead as some charge?

Okay, back to the age thing...Paterno may not have understood the portent of all this, but I tend to think in the back of his mind he did.

He did the right thing.  He reported it; my feeling is he trusted Curley and the rest to do their jobs and do the right thing, too.

Only they didn't.  There's no proof yet that Paterno ever called to follow up on this.

Now here's another thing:  Paterno has a reputation of an, "Aw Jeez," type of guy, down to earth, friendly, grandfatherly, etc.  But he was and probably still is a tough customer...his relationship with Sandusky is an interesting matter.

Reports are they were not that close.  They worked well together and I'm sure respected one another, but Paterno and Sandusky argued a lot, to the point that Paterno would fire Sandusky (then re-hire him).

Apparently, after that '02 incident, Paterno distanced himself from Sandusky, even though he is an honorary chair member of Second Mile.

Paterno had to have known, it is said, that Sandusky was still around the campus, even after these allegations became known.  Paterno had to testify to a grand jury; he had to have at least heard of the other allegations.

Now...this is where Monday Morning Quarterbacking is a big problem.  Everyone is claiming moral high ground, and claiming that Paterno should have done more than he did.

How can you judge that, nine years after the fact?

Do YOU have the right to judge that?  I don't think you do.  I don't either.

Yes, I think Paterno could have done more, and maybe he did.  He was not allowed to speak to the media today at his regular Tuesday press conference, on orders from the president, Spanier.  More on that particular character in a bit

So yeah...this is being ripped apart, picked apart and torn up.  In a world of instant information, 24-hour sports channels and an ever-ready line of "experts" who want in for their face time and 15 seconds of notoriety, you have the inevitable pile of shit.

Paterno must go...Spanier must go...the coaching staff must be wiped out...the slate wiped clean...

Yeah, yeah.

Like you think that's gonna do it?

The general feeling is that Paterno, whose contract is up at the end of the season, will not be rehired.  He likely will be allowed to retire at season's end, though I wonder if he will be permitted to coach at a bowl game, which looks pretty likely.

President Spanier, I have never been a fan of.  He has done much for the university, including the establishment of a law school, but he has been a figurehead who has allowed himself to be walked all over.

He has been stepped on by Paterno, by the Athletic Department, by politicians and by the media.  Spanier has done nothing in my view to stand up for the students and their rights; he has no power.  He has been a weak leader, and I honestly think he too needs to leave.

Does Paterno deserve to go?  I'm afraid he does, but I feel sorry for him.  I never disliked or despised him the way so many have.

This is the double-edged sword of Penn State, and JoePa:  you either love him and the school, or you hate them.

You love them for all the good things the school allegedly stands for, the probity, the ethics, the decency, and all that mushy, rah-rah-let's-go-Penn State stuff.

Or you hate them for their arrogance, their swagger and their we're-so-fucking-much-better-than-you attitude.  In a lot of cases, they were.

I guess it comes down to this:

--Sandusky faces life in prison for what he is alleged to have done.  Following his day in court, we'll see what happens to him.

--Curley and Shultz are likely headed for prison, or at least probation and stiff fines, if found guilty in the cover-up.  Their lives are ruined; for if found guilty, they are guilty of failing to act when action was required.

--Spanier likely will lose his job, because all this went on under his watch.  His ill-advised statement of support for those two guys may have been meant well, but it backfired.  His weakness has helped kill him, too; for he did not stand up to the program, the program Curley and Shultz allegedly tried to protect.

--Paterno?  Honestly, I think once it all sinks in, this is a man who is going to hurt like hell, and not for himself.  He has done much good for sports, and for people; it was not that he made a mistake, but that it seems in the eyes of many he didn't go far enough in doing what was right.  We may never know why.

I don't think one error (if you can call it that) should be any person's legacy.  I know that I've said and done things I wished I'd never...but I would hope that no one would take one incident or moment and think that was all I was.

But yes...Paterno needs to retire, and do so with the grace the man has shown over the years.  It's time for that change, as well.

--Of course, we have the victims.  Those kids, eight of them, some now men...and were there others?  Again we might not know.  The eight we know will now have to live those nightmares over again, in order to see an alleged predator face his due.  Those guys will never be fully "normal," though I'm not even what "normal" is myself.

The whole thing is just sad.  My cynical, dark side laughs with what I feel is justification at a lot of people who blindly sang the praises of Penn State and Joe Paterno, and how wonderful it all is, was, etc.

Quite a few of you jumped ship right away, didn't you?  The whole story still hasn't come out, has it?  Were you ever really fans?  Were you ever really Penn Staters?  Gotta wonder about you.

Like the song says, "Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself."

I love how the Harrisburg Patriot-News suddenly found its spine after years of fawning over Penn State.

http://www.newseum.org/todaysfrontpages/hr.asp?fpVname=PA_PN&ref_pge=lst

Sorry, but you know what?  You all set yourself up to fall, and hard.  Scary, isn't it, when your "Gods" show themselves to be human after all?

Yeah...but at the heart of it all, I feel sad.  No one I know is enjoying reporting on this, whether you went to PSU or not.

One of my colleagues is a Maryland grad...she HATES PSU, and has never forgiven Paterno for letting the Lions run the score up on the Terrapins years ago.  I don't even remember the game's she's talking about.

I feel the worst for those kids, and those young men.  Let's make sure we're clear on that.

I feel bad for Paterno, having to endure something he did not do, but is being made culpable...that is something he himself will have to deal with.  We don't have that right to do it for him.

Two men who worked for years at Penn State, when caught in the crisis of their lives, blinked.

One man who, as Paterno stated, "fooled" everyone with an act worthy of the greatest stage performer, for years.  And almost got away with it...allegedly.

Then there's a nation of alumni and students...you know what?  They didn't do this.  They didn't assault those kids; they didn't sweep it under the rug.  They've been played, too.  All in the name of what Howard Cosell sneeringly called, "BIG TIME COLLEGE SPORTS."

Is what it's all about, isn't it?

Well, I have to go up to Penn State this Saturday, to cover the Nebraska game.  I likely will have thoughts about this over the weekend.  I have a job to do; I wonder what I will find.

Take Another Road, Chapter 20--"Talking Back to the Night"

Here we are, with Chapter 20 of "Take Another Road."  Before we begin, my thanks to everyone who has wished me a happy #46.  I am most grateful.

Here we go...

###

Chapter 20--Talking Back to the Night

            Keru sat in his usual chair, but he was far from comfortable.  A cigar was lit in his fingers, his index and middle appendages holding it tightly to keep it from falling.  He was not alone in the room; sitting across from him was Nanae, and Keru was under a stare that fixed and held him.  Daisuke had left; Keru now knew he was the one who had warned Minoru, but that was hardly a concern right now.

            “What else have you lied about?”  Nanae’s face was not angry; it was impassive, but behind the dark eyes of his wife was the rare but terrible anger she possessed.  Keru expected it, and for once would take what he had coming to him.

            “Nothing.”  Keru did his best to look Nanae in the eye, but it was hard.  He had always prided himself on being able to look another man, a customer, potential client or partner, anyone for that matter in the eye.  But now Keru found himself wilting under the heat from those eyes.  “I have been honest in every other thing in our lives Nanae, you must believe me,” he said.  “This is the one place I have not been, but I am ready to do so now.”

            Nanae continued to stare, her eyes unblinking.  After a moment more, she inhaled slowly.  “I want to believe you, Keru,” she said, “but the only way I can at this point, is to hear all of it.  When did you become involved with Ebissan?  How did all of this occur?”

            Keru took a long, slow puff from his cigar, then placed it in the ornate ashtray beside him.  “It happened,” he explained, “before you came to work for my father.  At the time I was one of his assistants; I had just graduated from university, and worked in the office.  Ebissan came to apply for an open position, and I conducted the initial interview.  Though having only a high school education, there was something about her that impressed me:  I sensed a great intelligence, plus a willingness to work hard and to excel.  I personally recommended her to Father, and he too was impressed by what he heard and saw.”

            Nanae drew up her right leg and crossed it over the other, and much of it was now revealed by the slit of the silk dress.  The expression on her face had turned venomous; Nanae now looked much like the stereotypical, evil Oriental woman seen in so many films.  “So when did you become involved?” 

            “Not long after,” Keru admitted.  “We worked together on an initial project, and I found I liked her very much.  Though from the lower classes, I was very pleased with her work ethic.  Even on the most menial of tasks, Ebi did all she was asked, and did well.  We began to see one another, at first for drinks after work, then dinner.  A few months later, I learned she was pregnant.”

            The stare remained the same, and Nanae’s eyes did not blink.  “You were the one responsible, then?”

            Keru nodded.  “I was.”  He noted that his cigar had gone out in the ashtray, but took no further interest in it.  “I spoke with Father,” Keru went on, “and he was most disappointed, but asked what action I wished to take in the matter.  I told him I would do what was right; I would propose to her, and be the father of the child.”

            “So why did you not marry Ebissan?”

            “She refused.”  Keru shrugged, and even Nanae seemed surprised at this.  “I proposed,” he said, “and I told her I would take every responsibility that a man should in these things.  Ebi refused me; she said that while she did have deep feelings for me, she did not love me the way a man and woman should be in love.  She was also deeply ashamed of what had happened; Ebi felt she had dishonored herself, her family and the company by allowing this to happen.

            ‘In the end,” Keru concluded, “we made a compromise.  Father did indeed like and value Ebissan very much, and he gave her a job in the company for as long as she wanted one.  I took care of Ebi’s physicians, her care, and I provided for Minoru.  I was asked by Ebi to not be involved in his upbringing.” 

            Keru took a deep breath.  “I’m sure you understand was difficult.”

            “I am sure,” Nanae replied with unveiled sarcasm.  “I came to work for your father, not long after all this,” she said.  “I remember Ebi’s pregnancy.  What attracted you to me?”

            Keru looked Nanae in the eye, and found this time he could.  “Because,” he said quietly, “I was in love in you the moment I met you, and I swear on the good name of our family, that is true.  You and Ebissan were two different women; I had resigned myself to the reality that she and I could never be, and that I could not be the father to Minoru that I should have been, and wanted to be.  We had agreed that our relationship and Minoru’s lineage would remain secret, until the time was right.”

            “But it seems,” Nanae responded, “that Minoru may have been correct.  You might never have let this secret pass your lips, or his.”  The woman uncrossed her legs, and sat upright in her chair, her gaze locked on Keru.  “He had a right to know who his father was, Keru.  When did he learn of it?”

            “Ebissan told him when he was twelve,” Keru explained, “after his repeatedly asking.  She told him why things were as they were, and that if ever he was in need I would help him.  After Ebi passed away, Minoru went to live with her older brother, but that did not last long.  Minoru came to me and said he did not get along with the man; he wanted to be back here, and so I arranged for the apartment, and whatever else Minoru required.”

             Nanae’ s eyes narrowed to a glare.  “You made him promise to keep quiet, didn’t you?” She demanded, though her voice did not rise.  “And you allowed Asuka to pursue Minoru as a suitor, even though you knew he was partly her own flesh and blood?”

            Keru leaned forward in his chair, his hands knotted together.  “Yes.  I knew one day we would have to bring the secret to light.  I had hoped that it could be done differently, but I know now how foolish I’ve been.  You are right,” he continued, “I denied Minoru what he should have had after Ebissan died, and yes, Asuka should have known.  You as well.”

            Nanae slowly stood up.  “I appreciate you coming clean, at least now, Keru,” she told him, “but you have a great deal of damage to repair.  Did you not think that I would not accept Minoru as my son?  What were you afraid of?”

            Keru now looked up at her.  “I was afraid of many things,” he replied, “I can’t even begin to explain them all.”  He was about to go on, when Nanae held up her hand. 

            “Say no more,” she said.  “I have no more need to listen to you, Keru.  We have a daughter up there that needs us, and a son as well.  I must think on all I have heard before I can decide in my own mind what to do.  As for you Keru, you have decisions of your own you must make.  Decide well.”

            Nanae turned.  “I will not be sleeping in our room tonight, Keru.  Don’t come looking for me.”

            Keru stared at the wall; the click of Nanae’s heels as she walked away was the only sound he heard.

            “Here, put this on.”  Aimi slid a white terrycloth robe over Asuka’s shoulders and helped her into the garment.  They were standing in Asuka’s bathroom before the huge mirror.  Her drenched and muddy clothes were on the floor in a pile next to the tub.

            Asuka was in a fog; she still reeled from the pain of Keru’s assault, as well as Minoru’s confession.  She leaned against the sink, while Aimi wet a facecloth.  “I’m sorry if I’m out of it, Aimi,” she whispered, her voice strained.  “I still can’t believe what I’ve heard.”

            “I know,” Aimi replied, “Minoru didn’t tell us on the way.  He only said that things had come to a head, and that he had to tell all.”  She wet a facecloth and handed it to Asuka, then picked up a brush and began to work on the ends of her damp hair with it. 

            Asuka winced as she held the cloth to her face; she leaned forward and felt Aimi holding a length of her hair while brushing out the tangled ends and trying not to strip them or cause her pain.  She closed her eyes, not wanting to see what a fright she must look like in the mirror.

            At length Aimi finished and Asuka sat on the edge of the bathtub.  She felt Aimi sit beside her, and put her arm around her shoulders.  “I’ll stay,” she offered, “if your parents will allow me to.”

            “They will, at least Mom will,” Asuka replied, “and thank you, Aimi.”  She sniffed and put her head in her hands.  “I feel like such a baby,” she mumbled, and started to weep again.  “All my life I’ve leaned on someone--my parents, Minoru, and now you.  You must think I’m a spoiled, stupid child.”

            “No!  I don’t think that!” Aimi held Asuka to her tightly.  “Today is one of those days where things cannot be fully understood,” she added.  “Your father’s actions, what Minoru said, that’s enough to cause even the strongest person to break.  It’s all right, I understand.”

            Asuka looked over at Aimi; through her blurred vision, she saw the girl’s wide brown eyes, and an accompanying expression of honesty and concern.  “We may be very different,” Aimi said as she caressed Asuka’s unwounded cheek, “but we are the same.  We’re people; we have the exact same feelings.  Believe me when I say that, Asuka--I do understand.”

            “I know you do,” Asuka stammered as she leaned against Aimi’s shoulder.  “My father’s never hit me before, but it’s in line with what he’s become.”

            “Become?”

            Asuka wiped her eyes and face with the cloth.  “I want my dad back.”  At Aimi’s searching look, she continued, “The man that was my dad is no more--the last few years, I started calling him Father, because he seemed to like that better.  I don’t know when it began, but he became hard, all the time.  He could be a hard man in business, sure, but when he came home he changed.  He was my dad--I want that man back.”

            Aimi nodded and continued to hold Asuka.  “I only hope he can be brought back,” she said, “but what about Minoru?”

            “He’s my brother,” Asuka whispered.  “I have to see him as that, and not what I dreamed and fantasized so much about.  I don’t know how I’m going to do that.  Aimi, there was no sex between us, nothing like that, even though I wanted it.  Now I know why Minoru was so distant--he knew.  He could not let it happen.”

            “That was very noble of him,” Aimi replied.  “He could have taken advantage of you, under the guise of not knowing; but that is not how he was raised, nor how he is.”

            Asuka shook her head.  “Aimi,” she asked, “Minoru said something outside; he said someone else loves me, and is very close.”  She looked at Aimi.  “Did he mean Kaz?”

            Aimi inhaled slowly.  She knew that she could not hide in her face what Asuka had suspected.  “Asuka, I don’t know,” Aimi replied, “and that is the truth.  I know Kaz has great respect for you, but I cannot answer that question.  That will have to come from him.”

            “I should not even be thinking about that,” Asuka said, as they stood and went into the bedroom.  Asuka went to her closet and slid the doors open.  “I have a spare robe here,” she said, “you should get out of those wet clothes.”  She found the article and brought it out, a duplicate of the one she was now wearing.  Asuka handed it to Aimi, then crawled onto her bed.  She lay on her stomach, and buried her face in one of the pillows. 

            Aimi followed her to the bed.  She sat beside Asuka and stroked her hair, and said nothing.

            Minoru was huddled in the small, dark room.  How he and Kaz had ended up in this place he still wasn’t sure, but here they were.  “I think,” he said, “I have done what needed to be done.  The consequences of it however, are what I fear.”

            “Why would you?”  Kaz was sitting on his platform bed.  He looked down at Minoru, who had drawn himself up on the floor, his back to the wall.  Even with all that was swirling about in his mind, Minoru thought this room was as small as most of the others in the homes in this neighborhood.  There was barely room enough in here for Kaz’s bed, chest of drawers and some bookshelves. 

            But the aesthetics of the room mattered little at this point.  “Did Asuka’s, uh, I mean, your father,” Kaz asked, “keep you silent about this?”

            “To some extent, yes.”  Minoru stared at the floor over his folded arms, “but I was never under any threat.  I kept silent out of respect for him, knowing that the revealing of my true bloodline would cause him great difficulty.  I can only imagine what Nanae is doing to him right now.”

            Kaz smiled grimly.  It would serve the son of a bitch right, he thought to himself.  “Well,” he added, “what could Keru actually do to you?  There’s not much he can, is there?”
            “He could cut me off,” Minoru replied, “but that would not bother me in the least.  I could sleep in Kaldera’s loft; despite what appearances I put up Kaz, I don’t need a lot to live on, or in.  That would do just fine.  I don’t think Keru will do that, though--Nanae and Asuka would never permit that.  Nanae and my mother were dear friends, and she is not a woman that would visit any sort of revenge on the child of such a friend.  The hard thing,” he added, “is trying to go back there, to see Asuka and to tell her how sorry I am.”

            Kaz shrugged.  “I can’t tell you what to say there,” he said, “but she is what I think you might call a ‘lady of character.’  What I mean is,” he continued after another moment’s thought, “she has such internal strength.  Other than that first time, when she seemed a little unnerved by us, I still thought Asuka was very much like you.  She has become more open to things; I began to realize you two were a lot alike, but,” Kaz chuckled, “I never expected this.”

            Minoru nodded and listened.  He could hear voices in a nearby room, Kaz’s parents; what they were talking about he didn’t know.  “The story has taken itself into a new chapter,” Minoru said quietly, “and things have now changed from the way they once were.  Those days are now gone; ‘Quoth the raven, nevermore.’”

            There was a quiet knock on Asuka’s bedroom door.  The room was in darkness, as the falls around the bed were closed.  She sat up; Aimi lay to her left, and by her own movements, she too was awake.

            “Asuka, are you still awake?”  It was Keru, and the voice sounded very different.

            “Just a moment, Father,” she called.  She slid out of bed, and said, “Aimi, you can stay.  I’ll talk to him.  I have to stand on my own.  I’m going to.”

            Aimi nodded as she lay against the pillows.  “Good luck,” she whispered.

            Asuka smiled slightly, then went to the door.  Opening it a crack, she saw her father.  He was still in his business suit, and in the shadows of the darkened hall looked haggard, almost sick.  “May I speak with you?” He asked.

            “Of course, Father,” Asuka replied and slid the door fully open.  Aware that Aimi was in the bedroom, Keru motioned to the two chairs situated around a table by the hall windows.  Asuka nodded and stepped out.  All the lights were off in the hall; the only one came from the moon through the window.

            As they sat, Keru began, “Asuka, I first must sincerely apologize for my behavior.  I am sorry I struck you; that was a terrible wrong.  Also, do not worry about your school or your friends.  Those things do not have to change, and they will not.”

            Asuka nodded, but said nothing.  “I have spoken with your mother about Minoru,” Keru continued, “and now I will tell you.  I promise to hold nothing back, and you may ask me anything you wish.  I will answer as best I can.” 

            Asuka nodded again.  Keru took his daughter back through the same explanation he gave to Nanae; he elaborated on the nature of his relationship with Ebissan, her pregnancy and the situation that followed it.  Keru also described how he became involved with Nanae, and how all things had built up to this point.

            Asuka did not ask any questions; she merely listened and took in all Keru had to say.  When her father finished, she asked, “What becomes of Minoru, Father?  Will he move in here, with us?  Will he stay where he is?”

            “Whichever he chooses,” Keru replied.  “I will leave that decision to him.  How do you feel about him?”

            “I accept Minoru as my brother, whole-heartedly,” she replied, “but Father, there is one thing I must ask of you.”
            Keru nodded.  “Do.”

            “There is only one thing,” Asuka whispered, “one thing that I desire from you.  I don’t forget, nor am I ungrateful for all you have done for me, and for all the advantages you have given me--but there is only one thing I need.”

            “And that is?”

            Asuka took a deep breath.  “My dad.”  She saw Keru give a start, and she added, “I was telling Aimi about this earlier.  I remember my dad as a big, strong, but good-hearted man--the one who always smiled when he came home from work, the one who always picked me up in his arms when I was little, who always held me, and who I never feared.  In recent years,” Asuka went on, as she now stared at the floor, “he has gone away.  Dad turned into the man I call Father.  You wanted that, I thought--you looked for respect from me that I long thought I’d not given you.  So I called you that.  I became afraid of you.”

            Asuka put up a hand in the darkness.  “Don’t think this is a fantasy Father,” she quickly continued, “because I was.  I feared your anger, your disapproval, and your wrath.  I could tell you did not approve of my new friends such as Aimi, but I needed them.  I needed to see how life is lived beyond the walls of this house, beyond the walls of the academy, and beyond the circles we walk in.  They’re no different than we are.”

            She stood up and walked the one step over to Keru’s chair.  “I want my dad,” she said again. 

            Keru stood and took Asuka in his arms, and she clung to him.  “You shall have him,” he whispered.  “If he is not here now, I will find him.  For you, for Minoru, and for your mother--I promise."

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And there you have it!  Let me know what you think!