The Great Northeastern Book Tour, "Live from the Cafe," and Other Musings

Well, here we are again...fooling around with colors, fonts and other inane things as I sit here, trying to stay awake, and also working to figure out what on earth I am to do next.

It's been nearly a week, and my new book, "Live from the Cafe" is out...

SMLXL

 

It's just arrived in my hands, the physical books, and they look great. The book is 328 pages, but the print is of decent size, and I feel this will be a good, fast read. 

I have been fooling around with a bunch of ideas in my head, and I have decided to try a few promotional things this summer. I've gotten an opportunity, and so I've built around it.

Seems like we're always on display and always on the make, so I figure best to embrace it. Before and after events, I am trying my own weird little concept:

NINJA BOOK SIGNINGS!

SMLXL

 

I know, you're asking, "What the fuck are those?"

Well...be vewy, vewy quiet..."

Since I've discovered that book shops (even indie ones!) and other places of business just don't have the time or wherewithal to have every single undiscovered and unknown author in their establishment, you have to do your own thing.

I am stealing an idea from Amanda Palmer...any fan of hers knows when on tour, she likes to do "Ninja Gigs." She'll show up with a ukelele (or if there's a piano, even better) at a place and do a free, spontaneous gig. Those are more fun sometimes.

SMLXL

 

Those just look like more fun, don't they?

So, I'm doing this...I'll choose random places, and then promote on social media that I'll be doing a ninja book signing. If you want to get a copy of "Live..." or one of my other books, just show up.

"Aren't you gonna get in trouble for that?" You may ask.

Well, I might. But it's like this. I put up NO signs. The book sits next to my laptop and my coffee, like so:

SMLXL

 

Sorry for the glare. But that's it. I'm just sitting here, enjoying my coffee, while a couple hundred people in various forms of dress/undress fly through this place and get tanked up.

Now trouble? As I say, I'm not bothering anyone. I'm not talking to anyone. I'm just here. If anyone sees the book and asks, then I'll talk to them.

If you come see me, and decide to buy, the transaction is done between two agreeing parties.

No one gets hurt, no one is bothered, and I'm also paying for my drinks. 

I'll have fun with this, and refine it. I don't expect huge sales, but as I spend lots of time out and about, why not have fun?

Now...the Great Northeastern Book Tour, haha...well, I have a couple of events lined up, and here's what I'm doing so far.

On Thursday, July 13th, I'll be reading and signing (and hopefully selling) at DogStar Books in Lancaster as part of the Turning Wheel series of authors. This will be fun. Eliot White is the head of a site called Triangle, and he's working to bring the arts communities from around the region together. Really nice, enthusiastic guy...I like him very much and I think this is a great inroad for us all.

Later this month, I head back to my native New England for a needed vacation...but I'm not without enterprise.

On Friday, July 28th, I'll be at the Diesel Cafe on Elm St. in Somerville, Massachusetts to do a signing at the place that started "Live from the Cafe." 

http://www.diesel-cafe.com/

This is where it all began. And I didn't even know it.

Years ago, I went in there and saw a large, open place that had pint glasses of coffee, good food, and a cool place to hang out. I wrote, drank, and enjoyed it.

Back in York, PA, where I lived at the time, I was spitting distance from Borders. When it closed, I thought about opening my version of the Diesel there. The size, space, color and location made me think it could be a different place.

But different doesn't translate very well, does it? I don't think it would have worked, because change is not embraced too well at times. I also would not have had the money to get started, and who knows what a lease would have cost.

But it was a fun thought...and in my mind, I often asked myself, "What kind of coffee place would I run, if I opened one?"

From years of hanging out in coffee shops, corporate and otherwise, I started to find something that I thought would be cool. It might not make money in the real world, but I left it as a "Who Cares?" attitude for the story.

Le Cafe began to form in my head, and I drew upon the many people I watched, listened to and hung out with in places like these.

I had enough fodder for characters in my head to begin with, and then others started to filter in. 

And here we have it...a strange little place in a strange little town. The people are recognizable, I hope, the issues they face are real, and I hope I put you into a land that is at least understandable to your own situation.

I had a lot of fun writing this, and now I hope to bring it to you.

So yes, that strange author will be sitting about, hawking his wares in a different way...getting rid of the middleman...usually.

Diesel has been kind enough to have me, and then comes the really interesting one.

The next day, July 29th, I'll be doing a signing at my college. Saint Joseph's College of Maine is having me at the 30th reunion...well, mine is 30 years.

I hope to see old friends, and find out just how different we've become (or not), and I hope they'll see that awkward radio geek didn't turn out too badly.

I'm still in radio. That's enough to certify me, but I had that to start with.

So I'm gonna do that one, too. That's gonna be fun.

Been years since I was up in Maine, so I'll be hanging out with my sister and brother in law in Freeport, in their amazing old house, hooking up with old radio and music friends...

And on the radio as a subject!

WMPG 90.9 FM in Portland was WSJB's rival back in the day, or one of them on the left side of the dial. On Tuesday, August 1st, at 7:30 pm, Christopher White will host me on the Tuesday Night Talk Radio Club. They have a stream and everything...that will be fun...one of my old friends from Rocky Horror days, DJ Pete, will do a swing show right after that...fun.

I will move about the region, and head to the midcoast for a bit of research, but also to help blast Pennsylvania out of my head for a time. 

So many people I'd like to see, and also a time to consider what next I'll do.

Now...back to the house...I'm really enjoying living in the 'burg, and the home is a cool little spot. I don't spend enough time in it, and I wish I could. I spent the better part of two days home, while inspections went on.

My chimney needed a metal sleeve and a cap, after UGI found it clogged by birds, and who knows what else. Got that done, and on the same day, UGI came back to untag my water heater, clean it and do the same assessment to my AC.

Costly, but needed. That's life.

Well, I have some touring to do this summer, books to sell, and I hope you'll find it in you to pick up "Live from the Cafe," and my others...the labor of love that these are comes with various prices, but I have enjoyed this long several years of creativity, and there's more to come. Much more.

http://www.sunburypressstore.com/Live-from-the-Cafe-9781620067147.htm

Enjoy...and I hope to see you so I can sign your work and thank you personally for the support...and just to see anyone these days is important.

Not starting at screens or our phones. Like in the cafe, the rule ought to be: "No Wifi. Drink coffee, and talk to each other."

Peace, Out. 

I'm Back! New Home, "A Moment in the Sun," and Our Appointment With This Thing Called Life!

How about this? Well, the past several weeks have been a roller-coaster ride for me, and there’s no time to catch my breath, as it were. No, no time at all for I am plunging into the next thing without letup. It does not end, and in some strange respect I suppose that is how I want it.

Since the end of February, when I came home late on a Sunday night and found a “Get The Fuck Out” notice taped to my back door, I have had to kind of think about what I’d long put off: finding a new home.

I’m talking buying, because honestly, renting was not an option. I was damned lucky to rent on the cheap for so many years, and I can imagine the obscenities raining down from the hill when the guy who bought from my landlady saw it. But I think he also knew pretty damned well what he was getting.

House hunting is an art, and one that ideally takes months, if not years. Well, most of us don’t have that time.

After false starts, costs, and insanity of varied kinds, I did move in back in mid-April, and but numerous issues arose which scared off one lender and bank.

One of the wonderful mysteries was the actual owner: I thought we knew the owner. Then we find the owner lives in Spain.

Who then, am I dealing with? Well, it was the broker, who for whatever reason put his name on the deed, and had to go get that off.

Not uncommon, but one more thing.

Numerous inspections, examinations, a carpet that looks like someone was ritually murdered on it, and inability to deal with certain things let me in, but also let me not do everything I wanted to do.

Well, that is something I can work around.

https://www.facebook.com/tory.gates/media_set?set=a.10153791502020787.1073741836.552340786&type=3

Look there, a house! It’s really pretty cool. Airy, cool temps, lots of space, the cats dig it, and I can work about stuff.

Space will still be an issue, and I have a couple of long-running, daunting tasks but I can do them. It will take time.

I do enjoy my neighbors. I have them again. I have blocks of them, and most of ‘em are pretty nice people. Things get interesting late at night, because people like to hang outside.

And…they are at times loud. I mean LOUD. FUCKING LOUD.

But it comes with the territory, and I don’t honestly  mind. How it is.

What else?

Well, I am busy this month, with appearances in support of “A Moment in the Sun.” Last weekend, the Dharma Fools appeared in York at the Rooted Artist Collective:

Pretty cool, eh? Neat little artistic corner place, operated by Dustin Nispel and his merry band…fantastic artwork, jewelry, writings, and both of my books are up there.  We are here:

https://www.reverbnation.com/thedharmafools?profile_view_source=header_icon_nav

There’s a brief blog about the band thing. Nice to see York cooking again when it comes to the arts scene, and I was very happy to get to meet more of those folks.

I’m gonna be busy this weekend, if you’re in the Camp Hill area, come out to the Barnes & Noble on 32^nd Street:

The first ever of these is a nationwide thing. I’ll be there Friday night to hawk “A Moment…” and to meet, greet, and sign books and stuff.

Sunday, I’ll be there again for an afternoon session, which I think will involve discussions. Ought to be fun, network with the reading public and the authoring types.

Leads us to the 16^th, when I’ll be in Mechanicsburg for the annual Jubilee. Sunbury Press Books, my publisher is on the drag, and a bunch of us will be out front of 105 S. Main Street to show what we’ve got.

Also had a talk with Larry Knorr, my publisher. We are leading up to the release of my next book…it might be THIS ONE…

https://www.behance.net/gallery/35175169/Live-from-the-Cafe-Chapter-1-(Rough-Cut)

And of course, all this while holding down a job (two jobs in fact), taking care of the house, trying to have a life (hah!) and also restarting my radio program. Oh yes, that:

www.radio-airwaves.co.uk

There is also a Radio-Airwaves app! Get it via Google Play.

DJ`Riff, my musical alter ego got back on a couple weeks ago, and “The Music Club” is going alright. My times, are floating right now, because of the way the business is going, I still have to work. Check my Facebook and Twitter pages for updates. Oh, and that:

@ToryGates is my handle for Twitting.

I am foot to the floor, still…but on certain levels, I’m not sorry. But I have run into things w/o completely thinking on them, and that’s my nature. I have to brake sometime; but there is so much in life to do.

Muhammad Ali’s passing left behind many quotes, and I don’t mean trash talk. Best one:

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”

Leave you with that.

Peace, Out.

"The only thing constantly changing is change..." -- Lou Reed

I took this mantra of sorts from "The Raven," and it is more than true. It's been a while since I have blogged, and mostly that is because I'm so busy doing other things. But anyway, I'm listening to this:

This collection is one I often meditate to. Really nice stuff. I'm using it now at the Office because who knows what is going to come up on playlist today? Not that it's all bad but I've made my pronouncements on some of the stuff.

So...change. It is inevitable, and for the past year I have contemplated the oncoming rush of change that has to happen. I have not been afraid of it, more concerned about the execution thereof.

Before I get into details, I have found a job. I accepted an offer from a certain company, and I begin training on Monday. I need to explain something to you...you have been hearing in the news (if not having experienced it yourself), how people just go on and on looking for work, and are not finding anything. How some people have given up looking for work, have lost their benefits, and so forth?

Well, it happened to me. It's no different than what anyone else has gone through, but I am fortunate that I only am responsible for myself and my cats. That made it easier, but I know how hard it's been.

With my acceptance of this offer, I should soon be moved from part-time training to full time. Do you know how long it has been since I have had a full-time job? Meaning however many hours one is supposed to work to get "full-time?"

Five years.

Yes. I was let go from XM Radio in January 2009. I have been a jobber since then. To be fair, I did have severance for a while, and I did go back to school for ten months. I did not plan to go back into broadcasting, but it kind of happened that way.

My official job search lasted 27 months. I have a 92-page document of all of my job contacts, answers, interviews, etc. Now it's not Excel, so it probably would be a whole lot smaller than that, but that's what it is.

I am not one to subscribe to conspiracy theories or wild ideas of what is coming in this country. I left junior high school, folks. I do think however that the landscape of our economy must change as well, and fairly soon or we will have a serious issue.

On the same token, we can't sit around. I have not. My job hunt was a job, as I've often said about other things. We each must make those things happen for ourselves, best we can. 

So, where am I going?

http://www.tangotraffic.com/

If there is one portion of the broadcast world that is still working, it is...traffic. What do people need? What do they have to have to get about their work, their day, their lives?

The science has come a very long way. I spent nearly five years at XM doing traffic for more than 20 cities. It is an art, to take masses of information being hurled at you and turning that into a report listeners can understand.

With Twitter and all the immediate forms of social media, it has intensified. Our thirst for information is huge, but think about what kinds we NEED?

Tango is a new player in the arena, relatively speaking. I do not know the whole deal by far, and I train with one of my old colleagues from the XM and Metro Networks days. We go back a decade or more, and I've seen inside enough to know where we are headed. 

This is pretty exciting, actually. Now, what is funny is back in '09 or '10, I briefly worked for a startup firm called Traffic Talk. Sadly they could not get the money together for this, but the guys who I was with had an interesting idea, another way to make the traffic world understandable. That could even still work, I think, one day.

It's funny: I cannot remember where I saw it, I think it was in a trade publication, around 1990 or '91. There was a joke one-page promotional ad for an LA radio station: ALL TRAFFIC, ALL THE TIME.

The idea was that you would have DJ's or hosts on the air in studio, giving you constantly updated traffic with their own twists. "The Great Pandini" was a guy who would hypnotize you while driving; another guy who's name I can't remember would play driving music to make your commute go faster, like stuff from the James Bond movies.

My favorite was the guy who would broadcast live, every day from a car. And a lucky motorist might get a huge rubber arrow stuck to their ride as they traveled about: this was the DRIVE-BY SHOOTING OF THE DAY.

Now, that probably would not fly in LA, or anyplace else for that matter. But it was funny.

Back then, we didn't have Internet, but for a very few clued in tech geeks. Cell phones were not a big thing for everyone, nor pagers. That would have been a very big challenge to do something like that.

All traffic would not work on a terrestrial radio station, but it sounds like it would be fun. I believe in Tokyo there is a low-power AM station that just does traffic, but I don't recall details. Stuff I learned while researching one of my books.

Bandwidth on satellite radio makes it easy to allocate space for Sirius/XM to do traffic channels, though the mashing of them together, post merger I wonder about.

Now how about the traffic world? Tango is out in Chester County, which is just to the west of Philadelphia. The warehouse they are in is a temporary location, and they'll move to a new place soon. Jim Battagliese, my former XM boss and one of the gurus of the changing face of traffic reporting likes to tell the story of his first company operating out of his house in Philly. The whole house, from attic to basemen was the traffic center. Think about that.

This is not unusual, not at all. Now, I have to tell where I was the other day.

Without naming names, I had an interview in Maryland at a company that has been around a long while. I wasn't sure what to expect...I didn't expect this:

A fairly active city site, floors up in a big building. You'd think this is gonna be slick, right, professional, all that?

WRONG.

The only parking was in an expensive garage next door. I then had to go through levels of madness to get into the building, show my ID, jump through hoops and then take an express elevator.

I got to the big glass door. It is locked. At 11 am.

It is dark. No receptionist. No lights on, apart from a screensaver showing all the stations they do traffic and stuff for.

The man who would have become my boss arrived after me. I waited while he did whatever he had to do to get ready for me. Quiet...deathly quiet.

I was taken on a tour of a dark, poorly lit level of Hell that only Dante could imagine. There is a horror movie to be shot here.

This huge floor was a dead zone. Lights off, cubicles that looked like from a time capsule. It seemed all the occupants got up and left things as they were, like they were going to come back. And they vanished. 

Everywhere I turned, there were places where people once worked, but no more. I saw at one corner nearly three dozen computer towers stacked on the floor like coffins.

The man I spoke with was very nice. He tried to put the best spin on things, consolidation of people down here, this, that, other. 

There was one person working in a tiny studio in one corner. Another way down the hall in another studio. The traffic center looked like an air traffic control center from the 50's or 60's. Three people there. Now it was not drive time, to be fair, but this was surreal.

I have never seen anything like this in my life. If this is how it runs, then fine, I've been in crazy places too. But this...I thought of Luigi Pirandello's plays and the interplay of ongoing behavior that leads all to think the rest of the universe is insane, but you are not.

Or is it you that is mad?

Escape from the time capsule led me home, and Tango's offer was waiting. So there you have that.

Honestly...would I have worked for the other? If that was the only offer, yes. What choice have I?

Change again, this is what has come about. I will have to move, after 14 years in York, 13 in the same place. There are things I will miss, but much I cannot miss.

The sameness. I have written and spoken of the feeling that this part of the world fears change more than most, and refuses to do so. A colleague likes to say this part of the world "still thinks Kennedy is president."

They live in 1962, Camelot, JFK and Jackie, Reds under every bed, the Cubans are coming to destroy us, and what do those "Negroes" want, anyway?

They didn't know from gay people. Of course where I move, is that any different? At least I am close to Philly, so that will be a change.

I have to move, and I do not like that. Moving is a horrific prospect, and I will have a company do it while I can still afford it. Trying to find a place, going through all that again, relearning my surroundings, and navigating a big city...

...you get used to knowing where stuff is, and I imagine "here" will fade away, as it does for most people. You go somewhere, where's everyone else, right?

The 'net lets us all stay sort of in touch, so wherever I go I know I'll be sure to hear/see about what everyone else is doing. The next chapter in the great adventure, right?

So what does that mean for other things?

I do not know at this point for a lot of it. I don't have a clue.

As for the writing, it goes on. I have to do a couple of readings of "Parasite Girls" in the near future here, and I'll find other spots to do them. I know I have to do them, and yet I am rather worried about trying this method. It bothers me, but I also know (back to the changing landscape) I have to engage the public.

Got a letter today from Barnes & Noble, regarding my wish to get "Parasite Girls" on the shelves. They just don't have the space for self-published books, and I get that. Worth a try.

They said they noted that most self-published authors only sell "about 100 copies." Well, thanks for that bit of lovely news, I'm soooooo encouraged!

But they are right, I guess. So what is my writing going to do? Apart from being therapy, and a hobby? I still plan to keep on writing. I pretty much do not see myself ever getting a publishing deal, but I think a lot of that has to also do with building a body of work, and I am just getting started. I hope to live long enough to see it really happen. But again, I must engage.

"Parasite Girls," well it's too soon to tell how it is going to be received, but I've gotten some nice comments. For that I am thankful, and I'm going to keep at it.

What's next...oh...lots of things, but what will be next? I do not know for sure at this point.

www.behance.net/torygates is my online site for numerous things. There, you will find rough cuts and openers. Two or three possibilities are right there. 

So I'm probably going to give out more copies of "PG" than I sell, but that's how it goes. 

The thing that is important to impart on you: my painter friend Sunny said over 20 years ago when I expressed doubt: just do it.

Not the Nike way, but the way each of us have. There you are.

So, hopefully I will have time to blog again in the near future and tell you how this new venture goes. And how everything else goes...time to move on because I feel my years are slowly getting away from me. Every day I have is one to make something happen, something more. 

Warren Zevon had an interesting take when he faced cancer, and the final days of his life: "Enjoy Every Sandwich."

I think he found a sense of place. Lou Reed did as well...his wife Laurie Anderson wrote that right to the end, Lou's sense of wonder at the world didn't go away. He lived to the end.

We gotta just do it.

Peace, Out.

One Year On, Two Years On...& the Question of the Use

I do wish for a bit better feeling than the one I have going right now. As it stands, I can look back from the end of July and see some definite steps forward, and really positive ones at that. But I still don't feel it.

Two years ago, I gave up smoking (read this as, buying $7 packs and sucking 'em down in two days...I now bum on occasion) and went back to the gym. Well, I've never really been in a gym, per se...but I went back to trying to get myself into some kind of condition, and I have to say I rather like what happened there.

I am not a weightlifter, and I have no interest in it. I primarily swim, and except for the past month as I recover from Giant Cyst Removal (you DO NOT want to know more or see pictures), I've been hitting the pool and the sauna. I meditate in the latter, and do whatever it is they say you do, when it's your body and your weight is being moved, worked, etc.

Result? I am 27 pounds lighter than when I started. I was never overweight, but the muscle is back, and I feel better than I have in about 20 years. I have not grown tired of it, though I do get pissed that I have to be very careful about this ice cream scoop sized hole in my lower back. It is healing though, so all good.

Now, about one year and a little more away from something else: Zoloft. I noted in my last blog that one of my writings, about "Post-Zoloft Psychosis" is still getting regular reads. People seem to be wanting to find out about it, and how it is going.

Well, here's where that lies: after about 14 months off the little blue pills, I find that life has returned to a semblance of "normalcy." But I am NOT normal...normal sucks, normal is boring, normal is far too mundane. Especially where I live.

I'm sorry...but you know what, Pennsylvania? With rare exceptional cases, we could lop off Pittsburgh, Philly and a portion of Harrisburg, and we could say you live in 1954. One of my old colleagues liked to gripe that the vast majority of Pennsylvania thinks, "Kennedy is still president."

No...it's Eisenhower. Hate to say that, but a lot of folks really do live in the past around here. I won't get into the political/religious/social whatever's about it, but you know what? The world has changed, beyond your door, beyond the county line, and even the state line. 

For all the people who sit glued to their iPhones, laptops, i-This and i-That (I admit, it seems my laptop and I are connected, too), there is still a non-nostalgic view of life. Instead of looking back, you still live it! The "Way it Used to Be" is OVER!

Now, that is an example of what I feel, post-Zoloft. My feelings are returning. They were always there, but I will tell you this: they are heightened once more. Not in a bad way (most of the time), but they are there, and they do again exist.

For the most part, my everyday life is all right. I do still feel the highs and lows, ecstatic and crushing respectively, and they are not always fun. I do not have delusional behavior, such as certain people do suffer when in the throes of the higher aspects--you will be relieved to know I do NOT consider myself a deity, an enlightened being or someone who lives with a view that I am a cut above. 

I am Me. Deal with it; I have to every day.

The upper and lower case emotions, feelings, etc. are 95% of the time pretty much okay. These are no different than what any person deals with; so I think for the most part what I am contending with is mild in comparison.

The darker side of it is not always so accommodating, however. There are days, were it not for the sun coming right through my bedroom window (and my cats jumping on me to alert me that the food dishes are empty), I might not get up in the a.m. Sometimes that move out of bed is near-impossible.

I write of this in my forthcoming novel, "Parasite Girls." One of the characters, Sora suffers from Bipolar Disorder, and we have talked of this here. I have a relative whom I shall not name, who is in the throes of it. 

You want to know how bad it is? In a black mood, she physically attacked her husband...she was at Maximum Rage (and I honestly don't think she realizes what she is doing)...he locked himself in a bathroom to let her run...she went THROUGH the door to get at him.  Yes, THROUGH it.

So, there's a pretty good example of the extreme side of these illnesses and disorders. My own dark side is a sight more laid back than that, but it has its moments.

When I feel the tension building inside, it does so slowly, and I've been able to kind of detect it and defuse it. Not always so easy, though; it can be black, and not fun. There are triggers, and each of us has to figure them out.

So far, I have done pretty well at it, but again there are times when I will admit I am not the person you want around when it's going down. 

I will also tell you I am not the person you want near you when you're having your own bad day. Sometimes, I just don't want to hear it. Not saying mine is worse than yours, but it feels that way.

The let-down where I begin to move in the darker direction usually comes from exhaustion, lack of sleep, lack of food, and so forth. I try to obey the law of nature when it comes to me. That sometimes does not put me on the same "clock" as the average person.

Tension again comes when I move too fast, or try to "multi-task." I have since learned that multi-tasking is the WORST FUCKING THING any of us can do!

Everybody says it's hip to be a multi-track minded person...NO. I used to be good at it; I could think on different tracks and projects, and juggle the plates well.

Not anymore. Age is part of it, but also my capacity for juggling is not there any longer.  I am not a person who has to focus 100% on one thing and one thing only, don't get me wrong. It's not OCD stuff; I just have to do things a little differently.

Story of my life right there.

What comes along with the body again making the stuff that the Big Z no longer does? Well, mine did start producing Serotonin (I think that's what it is) again after years of not having to or being able to. I am for the most part feeling okay with my body doing the things it does.

I have to add to it--my physical activity is a part of the well-being, that is for certain. It needs to be done. 

My diet is vegetarian, but believe me I'm not a flesh-of-dead-animals nut! What you eat is your own damn business. This works for me.

Ah...you know this fits into what I want to talk about next...wait for it...

SOCIAL MEDIA.

Yeah...we are connected to it aren't we? I admit as much as the next person. I am not one of those people that's against it, but I'm seeing over the years just how that can be death of you. The things you say, post, etc?

Learning that lesson, believe it.

My Facebook Newsfeed is interesting...I will tell you a lot of people that are my friends are NOT on it, because of the content and the stuff that people consider newsworthy to put up there. I admit...I confess...I put shit up there that most of you would scratch your heads and say, "Wha....?"

I'm working on it...each day I try to work on everything, I really do.

Now...one thing that may have estranged me from "friends," is the perception, and it is often incorrect, of when a person posts something...what is the intent behind it?

A joke? A deeply-held political view? An emotion that must be released, right this second? Or how about this one...ARROGANCE?

I am pretty sure that I'm wrong, but some of the things people put up make me feel like if you said that to my face, I'd be like...WTF?!?

I try not to even look anymore. So what else does this say?

Even with a bright sunny day and less humid, oppressive weather, I cannot feel that good about it. Some days I get it, and it's alright. Others, not so much.

As I write, a letdown is coming, and I try to not think too much about what it is doing to me. You don't need drugs to feel this way...some of us are to quote George Carlin, "paranoid on (our) own."

This is the world I live in. It's not a terribly depressing place on its own, but has its moments. I do my best, each day. I am not a devotional person, meaning I do not feel the need to ritualize my life. There are things I do, on my time that work when they do. I do not expect things to be handed to me; I do what I need to, in order to make those things happen, but it's nice when the universe is cool and lets you see something that says to you, you're doing it right.

Just as I've said, these blogs are not edited, hardly. I don't go back and check for grammar or any of that. You get Me, in the raw unadulterated form when I write on this blog. If anything, I am honest, heh.

NOW...a little shameless plugging:

http://www.behance.net/torygates

Again, on this page you will find a proof of Chapter 1 of "Parasite Girls." The update is thus: Mitch Bentley of Atomic Fly Studios is working on the cover, and soon I hope that we shall have something to share as we get ready for the launch. 

There are also audio tracks from my radio work (my prime income source for the moment), plus other writings, and bits. Hope you'll take the time to check them out.

Each day is a day, and you do what you can with each one. To borrow another colleague's phrase, "That's it, that's all."