Samhain, plus the Death of Anything Meaningful

Well, this is it.  October 31st, Halloween for most of us, and me for a while in life.  That's not really what it is, though, but at this high holy day/night of Samhain, I'm finding myself not feeling terribly spiritual.

Believe me, I want to be, but I realized today that now is the time for me to blog about something that has bothered me tremendously over the past few months.  I am again going through another shaking of my belief system, and I'm processing it about the only way I can.

I realize some of what I am about to say will likely offend you; that is not my intent.  This is not to disrespect anyone who has any (or no) views at all on the subjects I'm going to tackle.  

Now I'm also not home, so I don't have all the resources at my fingertips I might require, but I'm not sure I'll need them.  This is not going to be a treatise on anything academic, more just my opinion and feeling about things.

In the wake of a hurricane, I think a lot of our lives our really disrupted, and Samhain for Pagans, Wiccans and the like may be stuck in that same situation.  

My thoughts may meander, but I'll try not to do that.  First of all, we have the dark night of Samhain, but it is not meant to be dark in the way that other alleged religions would have you think.

We head into the winter, less sun, longer nights.  We have harvested the fruits of our labor, one would hope, and now we have time to reflect.  One of the periods of a Samhain ritual mirrors the Jewish time of Passover (I hope I'm right on this) where the dead are remembered.

This past year, there have been several deaths; too many to mention.  Friends, colleagues and others; I feel a disconnect from them, yet tonight they might come around before they move on.  If they have, then so be it.  It's made me think of my own mortality again, though I feel physically much more able to live on for a lot longer.  I just hope my mental status remains good enough to keep up.

This kind of moves me to what I'm starting to think has happened to us:  I'm starting to see the madness inherent in organized religion, and how it's being used and misused.

I don't have any particular dislike or hatred of any religion; I just don't like the way people use it.  Most of them use it for their own gain, and don't think one second about the consequences of their actions.

Those who claim to be holy or religious may well be trying to live that way, but then one must realize we are human and cannot be perfect.  We pass ourselves off as that, though; by every means necessary.

I read recently that one of the tenets of the Sikh faith is that each person must try to live an exemplary life.  Well, don't we all?  You hope...but what does that mean?  A good life?  A fulfilling life?  One that makes a difference?

Interpretation I think is part of it; I believe most faiths want its people to do that, to do good, and so forth.  Again, what is and what is not is open to interpretation, and that's where we get off course.

People who claim religion point to their holy texts...the Bible, the Koran, the this, the that...the fundamentalist (read: fanatical) and possessed believe their word is the only word, and that's it.

I find these texts interesting, as Sherlock Holmes once said, "to a collector of fairy tales."

I do not believe any of these religious texts are the word of "God."  They are stories, anecdotes, quotes; were they transmitted from someone in the know, or were they the creation of historians and very early public relations men?

Jesus supposedly didn't write anything down, because he didn't want it traced back to him.  So who wrote all that stuff?  I don't think he did, and I don't think his "Father" did, either.

Most of this stuff is written to keep people in line, in fear, and unable to get out of a shell.  Then we have the grotesque interpretations of same...

You see and hear it all the time; most people just chuckle at it, but I don't find it funny.  For example, parallels to Christianity and Islam:  certain sects of both faiths believe...are you ready for this?  That all musicians are homosexuals.

How about that?  Didn't know I was gay!  I have heard people spout that shit off.

12 words in the book of Leviticus makes "Alleged Christians" believe all the lies thrown down about homosexuality.  If it wasn't being gay, it'd be something else, believe me.

Most of these religions are all about subjugation, in the context of how they are interpreted and used.  The Protestantism I grew up with was not a hate-filled, fear-inspired, "Us against Them" religion.  The Bible was not a word for word way of life; it offered stories, guidelines and thoughts that were important, supposedly.  Faith in it all was one thing, but that faith had to be in yourself, as well.

I do feel a lot of people, regardless of their religion really do try to walk the walk as well as talk it.  Of course, the ones who talk the loudest are the ones I suspect the most.  You talk too much, you doth protest too much; sounds to me like you have something to hide.

An old and dear friend I went to a Catholic (yes!) college with many years ago, on finding I followed Buddhism asked me:  "Does that mean you do not believe in God?"

Good question.  At the time I recall saying no; because as a Pagan, I believed in a God and Goddess.

Now let me get into the context of that, and what I think they really are:

To me now, there is a higher power...it is a universal life force that flows within and without us.  God and Goddess are male and female labels and manifestations given this force, because we then can recognize and understand them.

There is something there, but I don't think it's anything you really can see.  You can feel it, yes; perhaps you can even commune with it.  It's there, but the question for me is:  do we really need the names, the labels, and all the trappings that go with it?

No matter what we call ourselves, we all have rituals and rites.  We again call them by different names; the holidays are the same, just different names.

The Pagan ways that pre-date Christianity are still there; largely, they have been co-opted, borrowed, even stolen.  

Now if I may get onto a topic that is more current:  about 15 years ago I came up with the phrase, "the obnoxious fad that passes for religion."  I used it in a radio commentary, and it raised an affirmation from my boss.

Religion, especially Christianity became a fad to me in the early 80's, but it was like that long before, with television and evangelicals like Billy Graham.  Graham is looked up to even by non-Christians but I honestly don't think that man deserves all the credit.  Considering the pro-war, hateful stance his son has taken since taking over for the old man, and that Billy has not corrected his idiot son makes me wonder.

Graham was virulently anti-Catholic in earlier days, and made clear that John F. Kennedy was not fit to be president, because of that.  He later backpedaled and apologized when he found out what a howler he'd committed.

What followed?  Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson; two men of hate if ever there were.  I recall a radio colleague trying to apologize for Falwell and his rants against "Witches."  I technically am one; wonder how this guy would have reacted if he knew?

The point I make:  a flimsy, unreal form of faith has penetrated our consciousness to the point that it no longer represents what it was meant to be.  We trivialize our faith and spirituality at every turn; politicians for eons have declared "God" to be on their side, and their party's side.  The media repeats quotes of "God" and prayer and anything like that because it supposedly makes good copy.  No, it's just "working God in there," and it makes me sick.

To me it is offensive.  One of the most egregious and disgusting acts has been the dog and pony show starring Tim Tebow.  The NY Jets backup quarterback is the frontman of a money-grubbing operation led by his father.  The "Tebowing" and all the sickly sweet things that guy does are done with calculation and with an eye toward making him look good...and making all of them money.

It's all like that.  

The man who became Buddha never called himself a "God."  He was a man, and never said he was anything else.  What he learned he passed on in oral tradition; the Four Noble Truths, his sayings, thoughts and so forth are all things that came to him, and he shared them with others.

After his death, his followers traveled that part of the world to bring those teaching to others.  A monk is said to have reached the west shore of Central American in the 5th Century; they made it as far as the Middle East.  Would it be too much to wonder...did Jesus meet one of these traveling monks and share information with him?  Possible.

I do think Jesus was a real person, and some of the stories are plausible.  Most of what is written of him is long after his death.  

Another point:  Jesus supposedly did not walk about the world crowing to all that he was anything special.  He did not need churches, mosques or temples to show off how great he was.  He didn't want everyone else making a lot of noise either.

Add to this the trappings we throw down; look at the churches, the temples, the cathedrals.  Modern day ones look like Wal-Marts or malls, but the old ones do have some charm in their architecture.  I want to think these places were built with love and with the right intent, but again, it's the people who run these things and how they run them.

The point is:  we have allowed things to surpass yet again our reason.  We allow those who claim the power and the special line to the almighty to rule us, and dictate what we will do and not do.  

It gets downright stupid; laws are made to govern that men must wear beards, women must cover their bodies because the men are too stupid to control themselves, and it's the women's fault anyway.  Men have to do this, women can't do that, and you must give 10% of your wealth or more to the church, and so forth and so on.

You know what?  None of that is the church's damned business!

Then we have the lovely scandals...the Catholic Church, and that ongoing scandal that will never end I fear.  Look at the Mormon Church; they supposedly outlawed polygamy and child brides in 1902, but it still goes on.  They do nothing to stop it.  Of course a "religion" founded on the alleged visions of a man who claimed an angel delivered him the plates of a book should be considered suspect.

We have permitted ourselves to be taken in, ruled and controlled.  Pure and simple.

So where do I fit into this?  I am still trying to figure it all out.  All I know is that while I want to ensure that you have a right to your own mind and can decide for yourself, also know I am not trying to change your mind.  

I am not saying you're wrong.  I am not saying anything of the sort; if it works for you, good.

"An' it harm none, do what ye will," is the mantra, but there are others.  

I believe in the life force, and I do think it's there.  The spirit world does exist, and it is all around us.  This is not for peace of mind, it just is.

IT JUST IS...mindfulness of Buddhism, the mindfulness training that Thich Nhat Hanh put forth...we are, it is, it's here, so are you and I.

We all are here...like it or not, we need to learn to exist together.  In most cases we do, but we do have a way of destroying ourselves, don't we?

Of late, people will note that Krishna Das has again become part of my spiritual life.  He is a vessel; the chants (or Kirtan) that he sings are songs and chants that go back centuries.

Krishna Das wrote in his book, "Chants of a Lifetime" that he was not singing to any deity, but just to his guru.  It was what he had to offer.

Meditation, chanting, prayer, mindfulness.  They are all the same thing.

We all do it one way or the other.

I respect your right to do it how you wish...just don't put it on others, which we unfortunately do too often.  We demand everyone be like us, or else.

That has got to stop.

Organized Religion should have its hall pass revoked.  What you are and what you will be should be up to you.  It's time for the so-called religions to pull their weight; to pay taxes, to register for selective service and serve this country in some way.  I love how we can send young people to war, but some of those who support and push for the war make sure their own kind doesn't have to go.

Decide for yourself, where things fit in your life and be practical.  Be thoughtful; be mindful.

I'm still trying; I don't where I'll end up tomorrow, but know this, I'm making an effort to be me, to be a decent person and to try and correct the crazy things that I know are not all right with me.

I'm not perfect, never will be, but I can be better.

Blessed Samhain to you and yours; whatever you do or don't, it is up to you.  

I don't see you any different than I did before; to my friends, my people, I'm still me, and you're still you.  Let's keep working to stay together on that, and respect our differences, and the things that make us different.

For me, it's the life force that guides us.  If you think I'm fucking nuts, you have a right to your opinion.  

Peace, I'm outta here.

Over, Under, Sideways, Down...When Will it End?

Oh, it's on now!


The re-recorded Yardbirds tune came onto my Walkman just a few minutes ago.  I do feel like I've been taken over, under, sideways and down the past 12 hours.


I had a talk with Alice that lasted about six hours yesterday, then we had a phone convo that lasted more than an hour.  Relationships!  Well, I'm glad we did have it; I am NOT sharing the lurid details, because they ain't nobody's business but our own.  Suffice to say, things needed to be talked about, and it's all good.


Now...my attempts to edit "Silk Road Days" got about two pages, as I was diverted by other things.  Always something.


OK...I have been castigated as a hypocrite!  Can you believe that shit?  Apparently, my good friend Riz, she of the "Letters from the Disgruntled Fringe" blog has caused the hairs inside the butt of a "Christian" to stand up on end, and oh boy is he up in arms!


He's not too happy with me, either.  Yes, I must be a Visigoth in his Catholic eyes; Riz and I, among others are those who have ground the fine principles of fairness, morality and probity under our Pagan Wheels!


Well, ain't that a muthafuckin' bitch?


This all comes from Riz and her posting on Facebook about that Wall Street Journal writer, bitching about YA novels and what pervs us writers are in general.  I wrote about this in yesterday's blog, "The First Duty."


The Catholic fellow was mostly going on Riz, and I will say he might have a couple of pretty good points.  He did however go off on a rant, more than once about Riz's points of view, and on my blog.  


He was right, it did go off into a rant, but that is how I write on the fly.  Add to it, I was focusing on a specific part of society, which really is out of touch with the world about them.


This guy is a little out of it, too, in my own opinion.  This goes back to another of my recent writings about Child Worship and Child Obsession.  He I fear is far too overprotective of his children; far be it from me to say he is a bad parent, because I honestly do not think he is.  He is doing the best he can, with the tools at hand and what he feels is right.  I can't say ill of that.


I just think he's a bit too obsessed with molding his kids in his own image, and not letting them be children, and also not letting them be the human beings they will be.


We try too damned hard to turn our children into images of ourselves; some parents, and I see a lot of 'em here where I live, who have become so obsessed and paranoid that they become a detriment to their own kids' development.


It's not their fault, again with what tools one has to work with.  You have to realize though...people are gonna leave the nest and be what they'll be.  Is it not better to allow your child to open his/her mind and let them think for themselves?


I don't think a lot of parents do that.  They are so obsessed with controlling every aspect of their kids' lives, then they wonder why the kid flunked out of college, or if they did graduate, why they're back home living in the room they grew up in, unable to find a job beyond the third shift at Wal-Mart, or with thousands of dollars in credit card debt (all of these are actual individuals that I know personally)...and the folks wonder why.


Look in the mirror.  You're all trying, yes, but too hard.


Too often I see parents totally living out their dreams through their kids.  They make their kids what they wish they could have been...they make them play sports, make them go to dance classes, shove them into theatre, slam them into youth ministry and church activities.


Because THE PARENTS were failures at one or all of these, and they fantasize that the kid is THEM.  


Hey, if a kid expresses interest and an aptitude for these things, then wonderful.  If you as a parent can help them along and facilitate this, more power to you!  Just remember:  you cannot be Stage Mommy or Daddy...DON'T use your kids, let them be kids.


This all gets back to the fact that a lot of parents are so megalomaniacal that they monitor every second of their children's lives because they fear there's a pervert around every corner that will warp their fragile little eggshell minds.


As I said to that individual, and this is based on my own interactions with my folks:  the sooner you learn that life is hard, not fair, the better a person you will be.


As a kid, it was hard to get it at first, but I did soon after.  No harm, no foul, no one hurt.


We are also constantly trying to find the BAD in everything!  Everything we don't understand...where's the bad, the evil, the negative, the wrong?  Can't see it, it MUST BE THERE SOMEWHERE, WE HAVE TO FIND IT!!!


I suppose we all are too quick to judge, and rip on each other.  Sometimes, I feel I cannot do but hit back, because I have been called so many things when it comes to what I hold dear.  


"I defend your right to (believe in God), but please know that you're wrong!" -- Jim Jeffries


One opinion...me, it makes me laugh.


I don't agree with Jim on that, but my beliefs are not so simple...but, I know Riz's debate partner would probably say I'm wrong, or worse.


We worry too much, folks...waaaaaayyyyy too much.  We worry about everything we see in the media, we attack what we don't like, and in extreme cases, we try to destroy.


We obsess too much about things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things.  We fear the gov't is out to get us; Christians live in fear that non-Christians and Atheists are out to get them; too many people are busy attacking left and right.


We need to get off our high horses, and start thinking a little bit.  I know, that's hard, and rational, logical thinking is difficult for 99% of our nation, but well...


As human beings, we need to GROW UP.


We need to start seeing each other as human beings.  Now, this is gonna blow your brains, but think about it:


1.  CLOTHES DO NOT MAKE THE PERSON.  I don't give a fuck what you wear or don't wear.  I don't fucking care if you wear a suit or blue jeans; I don't care if your kid wears a school uniform or cutoffs and a t-shirt; and I really don't care what anyone wears.


I make jokes about stuff like that all the time...I certainly am not a fashion plate, nor do I care to be.  You must NEVER judge a person by clothes, hair, skin color, tattoos, whatever.


People for years...my family, one of my old bosses, and others have said my image lends people to feel numerous emotions about me:  fear is one of them.  "You scare people," my old friend Bob once said.  Maybe I do, but if you're gonna judge me on my looks, then I'm sorry...I really don't want anything to do with you, if we have never met.


2.  YOUR RELIGION IS YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS, AND SHOULD STAY THAT WAY.


I don't have a problem with people having faith.  It's when you misuse it that I get offended.


I am a Buddhist and a Wiccan...the parallels are very much the same, they really are.  But I'm sure some of you will see me as some chanting hippie or a Satanist.  Your loss.


I DO NOT see all Christians for example, as hateful, obsessive individuals who attack others publicly.  I know many Christians who walk the walk and talk the talk as well.  They go by the belief that Jesus walked about in this world in a quiet manner, and did not attack and assault others.  His anger in terms of tossing the moneychangers out of the temple is one thing...an expression of anger, as Thich Nhat Hanh might say, is using it when it is required.


Taking care of Anger...it is an emotion that is a part of us...you must take care of it as you would yourself.  It doesn't mean you can't feel anger, or express it.  Just do not let it explode.


I have to be fair...my car has a Born Again Pagan sticker on it.  Some people ask me what it actually means, and I'm glad to tell them.  So to be fair, I don't care if people have Jesus or other religious stickers on their car.  Your business.


It's when people leave notes on your car about how "wrong" you are, or veiled threats about repenting, that's where I get ripshit.  Also, I despite people who justify hate and worse at people because they are not "just like them."


3.  SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT HOW EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET YOU, PERSONALLY.


25 years ago, I believed things like that.  As you get older, you do indeed mature, and I've seen the world in a different light.  I am stunned to see so many people, normally who would be among the nicest, most interesting and intelligent people I know, suddenly go off the deep end.


The Rapture...Obama is a Muslim...Black Helicopters...WE'RE BEING WATCHED BY THE GOVERNMENT...the Pagans sacrifice children and animals (yep, I've heard that one)...THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME.........


GROW THE FUCK UP!


The government has more important things to do than worry about some damned unemployed sap who's glued to Fox News and Rush Limbaugh 24/7, the soccer mom who's obsessing over their three kids and their theatre/soccer/MMA practice (joking a little), and the religious wingnut who's stocking an underground bunker with three years' supply of canned goods and bottled water (I know one of those, too, yes I do...we were on jury duty together!).


4...(um, where were we?)


Oh yeah...I'm having to laugh right now.  This has been fun to write, because it helps clear my head, and I surely hope you might be able to do that yourself.  


Breathe, peeps...not every YA novel is going to corrupt your kid's mind...DIDN'T YOU WANT THEM TO READ INSTEAD OF PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, DAMMIT?!?


Not everything Lady Gaga says or does will kill you or your children.  Glenn Beck is not going to preside over the end of the world, unless you choose to follow him.  Obama is not sending the Men in Black to your house tonight (unless of course, you publicly threaten him).


Let's stop worrying so much over every little thing.  Let's open our eyes and see the world for what it is...and let's stop fighting over which God is better than the other...Steve Earle wrote, "God is God,"  and really it's all the same.


All things are the same, just as they were in the past, just in different forms.  Stop being so tight-assed and so paranoid.  We're not all gonna die, not yet; none of this is the end of the world.