When Things Fall Apart...

Well, here it is the afternoon of October 31, and the state around me is one of disarray and jumbled thoughts.  We are still repairing from the freak fall/winter storm that blasted us over the weekend, and it's led me to think in a number of different threads, which I hope somehow to put together.


I have been without electricity in my house for about 36 hours of so; strange, I had power on Saturday, but Sunday morning it was gone.  My landlords (aged they are) have gone without since I think Saturday, and our block of homes around here are out as well.


That is a very strange thing...I don't recall the power ever being out for this long in all the years I've lived here.  I can't remember power being out anywhere for such a long time.  Then again, so much of the world doesn't even have electricity still.  We certainly do take that for granted, don't we?


I worry about my landlord and his wife.  They are nearly 90, and while I marvel at their ability to get around, they do have their limits.  They have been handling this as well as they can, but I can tell they're worried.  At least they have family and friends to look in on them, but I do wonder about a number of things.


We did indeed get slammed...some 12,000 were out of power in York alone, and while that's down to less than half, Reading still has more than 12,000 customers out.  From this  area of south central PA to the northeast, it was a swath that storm cut.


For this area, lot of downed trees, limbs, etc., especially on the property I rent.  We're gonna need to get someone here to drag it out.  Most of them are too damn big, and need cutting, and so forth.


As it is Samhain, I have dragged a large amount of brush, wood and stuff to my little stone fire pit.  I will be doing a little burning this evening, and hopefully meditation on this and other things.  I am now officially solitary, and it's time to do this.  I'd hoped to be with friends tonight, but circumstances I don't think will permit this.


It is strange, coming home to a dark house, using candles and a flashlight to get around, and then burrowing under every comforter and blanket I have to stay warm and actually sleep.  It does get pretty cold here, and will tonight.  The temperature in my house is hovering at 50 degrees; not terrible, but still a problem eventually for the pipes and other fixtures.


My cats are handling it well; Sofia is on my lap right now, and they all know it's warm where the human sleeps.  Izzy just won't come in there, but she knows where to find space of her own.


I just have to bring water in; again, I'm gonna lose a bunch of food in my fridge, if this doesn't come back soon, but that's nothing really.


OK...where's this going?  I've been thinking about this problem for a long time, and I wonder if any of this makes since.  Our infrastructure has been crumbling in this country, and this outage is one example of how that has happened.


Then...take how YOU feel, if you are affected by all this.


Here's a similie:  ever have one of those days where things just fall apart?  The car doesn't start for some reason, your coffeemaker just suddenly dies on you, your laptop won't fire up or just freezes and keeps doing it.  These are all little things that we can get around and handle.  


Sometimes, you get behind that one person in line at a store who takes forever...or you get the clerk who is clueless and doesn't fully know their job yet...you feel the tension rise, don't you?  You feel ready to snap; you want to, but you don't because you know better.


But a lot of people don't like that, and don't have that in them.  Some people do snap; breaking points are different, and I wonder if we're not headed right for it.


Look at the Occupy movements around the US.  People have just had enough with Wall Street, our government, the way things are.  Our infrastructure is crumbling from the inside; our roads and bridges are one thing, there's also the infrastructure that is our economy.


Look at the jobs...or lack thereof.  In my line of work, the broadcasting world has taken another gash to the body, and the blood is again flowing.  Clear Channel, one of the VERY BIG BROADCASTING CORPORATIONS OF AMERICA (do you know where the joke lies therein?) has again slashed its staff, and there will be an effort to make even more with even less.


My friend and colleague Scott Fybush details the latest bloodletting at www.nerw.com -- please check it out.


I work part-time for CC Harrisburg, so I know some of the people let go.  We've all been through it, but it seems every line of work is being eroded by a need to keep the bottom line fat and happy, the shareholders fat and happy and the owners fatter and happier.


Jobs being exported overseas where people work in virtual slave labor conditions to make stuff, and I'm sorry, but not as good as we could have done in a lot of cases.  Okay, we sure lost our way with cars.


We are now a nation of service jobs; we're servicing everyone, including ourselves, and even that is not working that well, is it?  


A power outage turns to outrage for some people; it's nothing compared to the big picture, don't you think?


I wonder where we're headed; I really think we need to reach a consensus on what our values and priorities are, and none of this involves politics or religion or anything else.  


If we're going to have an economy that provides good services and things we all need and want...we have to pay for it.  More than we have for years, look at gas; we got away with it for so long, and we still do.  $3.45 for regular?  Three times that elsewhere in the world, folks, get over it.


That said, we also have to consider how we are going to repair ourselves, so that we can take the stress out of our lives, and still get things done.


We are a nation that knows what we want, and we want it yesterday.  We've all been like that; well, I know as well as anyone that power restoration will not happen yesterday or right now.  Bet anything, when the power comes back on, people will appreciate it even more.


Do we want too much?  Sometimes, yes.  A little inconvenience becomes one big headache, but only if we let it.


Guess what I'm saying is, let's remember what the deal is, and try to make the right choices for us.  Doesn't hurt anyone other.


Be mindful of what you have, and when you think what you need is important, ask yourself if it really is.  Or can it wait?


Now this takes me back a ways...I remember when I was a kid one time, when we did have a significant power outage.  Probably only a few hours, but it was at night, and we were in the dark.  


Mom had a couple of decorative kerosene lamps, which actually worked.  We lit those up, and I read by one of them for a while.  That's all they had, or firelight back in the day.  How many of you remember that?


Alice told me a story, which is going to be very hard for you to believe, as it was for me:  she used to live in Perry County, which is northwest of here...she and whomever she was with at the time lived there about nine years.  Now...wait for it...


...THEY DID NOT HAVE ELECTRICITY.  EVER.


Now how you live like that...I had to wonder.  I still do.


Anyway, I have candles, and I have other ways to work around all this for a bit.  Camping, if you will, just inside.


I can also escape to places where I can plug in my laptop (hooray for the MacBook Pro battery!), shower, etc.  But you know, a little inconvenience makes you remember how good we have it...and that we can make it even better.


Okay...I have Samhain to do tonight, and I turn 46 on the morrow.  Hopefully we'll "get power" by then, but who knows?


Blessed Samhain to you.

Day 1--Return to Vermont

Well, once again here we go with my Reports from the Road!  It has been a hectic week in preparation for my road trip back to New England, i.e., finishing work, securing the domain, making sure someone's going to make sure the cats aren't gonna go all "Risky Business" (is that the movie I'm thinking of?) on the house while I'm gone, and all that.


"Escape" by Journey is playing on my iTunes.  My Walkman does not play well with iTunes or a Mac, so the music selection is very different.  Not as many songs, and also a number of "borrowed" discs from The River studio (hee-hee)...hell, I BOUGHT a bunch of these damn records back in the day, yes, records!


So two shows to deal with on the eve of my leaving; hosted "Fresh Air/All Things Considered" on WITF, and then it's zoom over to where I was staying, then to Clear Channel to do the Senators game.  


Not much sleep, and at 5 am I was off and running...eight hours or so in the vehicle, propelled by my Walkman, the BBC, NPR, and occasional local radio.  Scott Fybush would be all over my not giving you every dial position of every New York Public Radio station, and there are a lot of them.


A slightly different road trip for me, through parts of NY State and VT...the latter state I've not been to since my mother's funeral in 2005.  Far too long; that scenic if somewhat slow ride up through SW VT on varied roads into Burlington reminded me quite a bit of what the whole Green Mountain State used to look like.  Yes, used.  I shudder to think what my hometown of Cambridge is gonna look like when I go there tomorrow.


My reason for the trip to VT is to watch my nephew Aubrey walk that aisle with his soon to be new bride, Erica.  This should be interesting...very interesting, indeed.  


I need to see what the home I grew up in looks like now, though I will not ask to see the inside.  A/E did a great remodeling job, to the point I did not recognize some of the rooms I lived in the first 17 years of my life.  Change is good; it is inevitable and I'm glad some of the family will carry it on.


Need to see the farm, see the rest of the gang...most relatives will not be there (and I don't mind telling you I am thankful for THAT).  This is gonna mostly be Aubrey and Erica's crowd, most of whom will be young enough to be my and other sibling's kids. 


I need to see what the place looks like, and the area.  Recalling my earlier life there, it became the template for "Out Among the Stars," one of my "adult" novels (meaning for adults, not X-rated, come on, now!).  Wonder if it'll stand up to the test of what I recall and how I envision it now.


Speaking of siblings...I do wonder where my sister and brother in law are?  Susan and Robert are supposed to be staying in the same hotel I am...they've no-showed.  That is not like them.


I am betting they either got sidetracked somewhere, or they ended up in the other hotel of the same general name in this neighborhood.  What do you wanna bet?


Ah well...I had the chance to look about and see the changes.  Essex, what I saw of it looked rather built up, but still the same...the Fairgrounds was redone, but the barns were the same. Interesting.


My hotel is on the border of Colchester and Winooski, so I dropped down through the latter, to find lots of food spots...and a PHO PASTEUR!  Yes!  To die for!


Susan and Rob owe me a dinner...heh heh heh...see what I can do to influence their decision...


I also drove into Burlington...it's a city that has so many memories and thoughts for me of my youth...and what I didn't have.  I was born in Burlington, and it was "the big city" for kids like me.  Going there for any reason was a special thing.  


My radio career (the paying one) started there, too; in the old WDOT studios on College Street in 1984.  I can't remember the last time I was in Burlington and actually looked around, but I got the chance to do it this afternoon.


Damn.  I want to live here again.


It's so new again...cool places, stores, restaurants, the music, all of it.  The old Oasis Diner building is there, but now is a deli of sorts.  Looks like they're keeping the motif in some way.


Nector's, the place where a funky little band called Phish got their start is there...right next door is Esox, where I used to drink after my shifts on 'DOT...and right across the street from where the late Peter Freyne and I smoked a joint, in full view of the world on a hot summer night in 1985.


Memories.  "Zombie" by Fela Kuti has been rocking for one hell of a long time, but it's cool.


The music shop is gone, but Pure Pop Records is still there...went in and looked around.  My old friend/radio colleague Ira Melnick used to work there...wonder what happened to him, great guy.


The store was a little pricey, but I can see why.  Snagged the new Boxer Rebellion CD The Cold Still and Johnny Clegg's Human, his first CD in 17 years.


"Real as an Animal," Alejandro Escovedo is playing now.  Yeah...


Irregardless of what I see and experience tomorrow in Cambridge, I have to tell you:  I NEED TO BE BACK IN NEW ENGLAND.  IF NOT BOSTON, VERMONT, or somewhere in between.


This is where I'm from...the diversity, the culture clashes (the peaceful ones), the whole fucking world is so different here.  It's not changed that much, not at all; despite the influx of Flatlanders (not the band, a not-always nice term for "Outtastaters"), there's still a unique character to Vermont.


My youth came back to me in a college city...oh!  Passed the ballpark where the Lake Monsters play...$3 FOR PARKING.


3 FUCKING DOLLARS...TAKE THAT, FEDEX FIELD!!!


Now, I have felt rather focused on doing something.  Before going out to do my shopping URRRR!!!! market research I got back to work on music.  Two more songs that begged for months to get music put to them have music now.  Just bare bones stuff, but I like it so far.


The rough mix of "Aki's Song," by my old band, Ahltyrra is playing...Dan and I did get together this week, but I wonder where it's all going.


Where am I going?  I have no job prospects in VT or in Boston...I have to stay where I am, because of my commitments to WITF and to CC.  I have nothing else anyway that I want or need to do in radio.


The book...getting the Sweet Dreams Series published, that may well do it.  I have to hope so.


"Hot Burrito #2," Flying Burrito Brothers is up.


I am again at a new crossroads in my life...I wonder what the next change will be.  Part of me wants out of PA, part of me feels my work is not done there yet.


Part of me is pulling me hard to come home to New England, doesn't matter where in it, but to be there.  


I want to see how things go tomorrow...that will help me consider a bit more...then Boston once more.  


I miss this area; some of my old friends are still here, and I'd love to see them again.  I admit my ties to my family aren't much; my sister and brothers and I are cool with each other, as are the kids I think.  The rest...I will not say anything...let's just leave it at that.


Life has gone on, and it always will.  I now need to see what is going to come up next in these coming days.  Whatever the case, I aim to enjoy myself a little and I will try to relax, but I also have to work out somewhere...other than minimal stuff here in this place, I'll have to wait til I get to Boston.


Either way, it's pretty good.  20 days without a smoke, feeling more like myself already, feeling more awake.  We shall see...