Wednesday, June 6, 2012

21 Days + a Bonus Rant

Okay, it's 21 days since I said goodbye to the Big Z.


I have been trying to get numerous projects done this evening, as I have the last few.  I'll do my best to update on how this is all going.


My last blog here on June 1st was...I hate using the word "Cathartic."  Because everyone I know uses it.


I don't that's right.  It was me unloading a whole bunch of shit.  Well, the next night I had more to write, a lot more.


I dropped it over here:


http://www.myspace.com/tgfabthunderbird/blog/545822848


This is my Myspace page, and I'd not blogged on it in over a year.  I didn't want this document to take away from what I'd written on the 1st.


So there's that and you might want to click there and check it out.  


That I'll warn you was a real knockdown, drag-out battle within myself.


It is, again I warn you, probably going to offend some of you.  It likely will offend certain people's sensitivities, but I cannot apologize for how I feel.  You have a right to your feelings; I have mine.


Now that that is established; go read it.


If ye dare.


###


Now, I've been listening an old Kronos Quartet CD, "Lachrymose Antique," with a bunch of old English letters that don't make sense.  Basically, it's "Early Music."  Very interesting as I work about here this evening.


So what have I been doing?


Great.  My cat Sofia just erased part of what I was writing, fuck.


Sofia likes to leap onto my worktable, scattering papers and nearly starting fires if I have my candles lit, doing a Stomp dance on my keyboards, both the laptop and PC, crashing onto my antique desk next to it, and flying onto the file cabinet.


I have yelled at her, but what does she know?  To her, I'm paying attention to her, no matter what I do or say.


I'm tired of yelling.  I do a lot of that, to myself at work and other places when things get hectic, and the coping mechanism isn't ready to go to work yet.


James Blundell's "Ring Around the Moon" CD is what I'm using now.  "Breathe in, breathe out..."  The first track is called, "Learning to Roll."  Good stuff if you can find the Aussie singer.


I'm going in order because I'm in the process of transferring thousands of songs, thanks to Cloud and iMatch.


The Cloud as they call it is backup storage for up to 25,000 tracks.  I'm using that, but iMatch sets up your iTunes accounts and other stuff.  I have two, one on the PC and one on the laptop.  


But you have to order downloads one at a time...so it's gonna take time.


A reason for this is because I'm working to convert my MacBook Pro to do Windows plus Apple.  The former is needed for a software called SAM Broadcaster, because yours truly will soon hopefully be DJing in cyberspace.


http://www.radio-airwaves.co.uk/


Soon, very soon I hope.  I am getting the Windows license, will lock it in with Paralells, and then get my SAM hookup.


Gonna be fun.  Good fun, and I need some of that.


"Four Feet Tall..."  You know I'm gonna say right now, get RING AROUND THE MOON by JAMES BLUNDELL.  It's that good.  Really interesting singing and stuff.  Songwriting especially.  He also covers Johnny Cash on one song...which one I'll not say.


What is happening is that I'm trying to get things together and I'm tunnelling into doing certain things and working them until they're done.  Or dead.


So I've been getting the computer ready for this little gig.  Lots to learn, most of which I did not want to learn about.  But whatever.


OK...I just about was ready to smash the computer again.


This is what happens.  When you computer does something, and you don't know what it is doing or why, then won't let you back up...urg.


Well, I got lucky.  Got out of it, and my text is still here.  Now here's this:




Good video.  Mostly I think country music done after 1991 is utter shit.  But James does what the fuck he wants, and how he wants it.  Great all around.


Calmness does not come easily for me, but I try.  Believe me, I'm trying.


I feel at times like I did for years, dating to before my diagnosis.


Still I feel I can live without the shit.  It was good for what was needed, I'm now ready to go without it.


Going to be a fucking trip, and I have to do my best.


I have not done much with "Time the Healer."  Just not the time, but I suppose a rest for it is good.  I do have a new scene idea, and other ideas, lots of them.  Too many to count.


I have an unnamed friend that I call an "Ideas Person."  This person has ideas, lots of them.  They are good ideas, usually; but they are not well considered. They come out, and then one realizes that the capacity to see it through not to mention the resources comes up.


Hard to put those ideas to work without the forethought.  I know the feeling.


"Nature's Gentleman."  Exceptional song.


Okay...enough of this.


I do have a lot of computer weirdness to deal with.


I have to do something about the script.


I have to do something more about the Sweet Dreams Series, and getting the first book up and running.  Cover ideas by others, manga, etc.


I have to see Alice tomorrow; she has had a rough go of late, but I can't comment on it.  She's sounding better the last day or two, I'm encouraged.


Dan and I are going to the Robert Cray Band concert Friday at the Gettysburg Festival.  That's gonna be fun.  Cray is a superb performer in nearly every way.  I'll have a full report.


Gotta get the rest of this together.


I need to take the time.


Time...for all of you struggling.  Time is what you need to take, no matter how long.  If you get a step forward, you're good.


Okay...time to go.

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